Swingin' Detective
by The Lord Of Pages
Summary: In the seedy town of New Meridian, where danger lurks around every corner, and the Medici Mafia run rampant, one detective wakes up after five years of an empty life. The reason why? A missing girl case that he was given. As he searches for the missing Carol of Maplecrest, he uncovers far more hidden in the darkness. The Skullgirl looms over his city, and it's time to swing baby!
1. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Swinging Detective. Chapter 1.

This story was inspired by a number of things, not the least of which was Bayonetta, various martial arts action movies, my deep appreciation for jazz music and the swinger culture of the 40's, my love for the story and cast of Skullgirls, and the fact that Naruto is just a fun character to try new ideas out with.

As usual I'm accompanied by my brother in all but blood The Swordslinger, and I hope you all can enjoy this number. Without further ado, let's swing baby!

This story is second to both Life is Cosmic and Kamen Rider Ittune. But it'll probably comfort some of you, the ones who care at least, that this story is also very much near completion, so after the initial chapters are posted, the following ones will no doubt come soon.

We hope you enjoy this story and its ensuing chapters, which will be uploaded en-masse with little commentary from us.

I do not own Naruto which is owned by Masashi Kishimoto( unfortunately), Skullgirls by Lab Zero Games, or any jazz songs, they're all owned by their respective owners.

As a general warning, for the sake of story writing, I'm bumping up the ages of several characters, the Skullgirl incident that we all know from the game didn't take place until roughly two to three years after it did in canon.

You'll see what I mean as we go.

Ages for those of you who care. Relevant age changes will be listed, others will not.

Naruto: 25.

Ms. Nadia Fortune: 23.

Cerebella: 22.

Peacock: 15.

Marie: 15.

Feng: 22.

**Bold for demon speech, Painwheel speech, or similar characters talking.**

_**Bold and Italic for attack names.**_

_Italic for thoughts and flashbacks._

Recommended listening.

Black Cat Zoots - No Swingin' in your walkin'.

Bunraku OST: Puttin' on the Blitz.

Big Bad Voodoo Daddy: Jumpin' Jack.

**X-X-X-X-X**

_Cinders are a beautiful thing for some people, their color can bring a soothing peace to them. But when cinder is all there is as far as the eye could see to the cackling of a madman laughing down at the burnt carcasses of the innocent, such things were not something to enjoy._

_A single boy was standing between the madman and his goals. Like all tales with a hero, this one had the villain enjoying his moment of triumph as he towered over the only person to oppose him. Determination flashed in the kid's eyes as he marched forward._

_But that story did not have a happy ending. He failed to defeat the madman under his own power and was cast into darkness as the last of his world burnt down to ashes. His failure marked the death of an entire civilization which he was the last of. And so, dust to dust, ashes to ashes, he and his story were forgotten. _

_Yet, he lived on. Tossed into the abyss from which there was no escape, this simple boy defied fate and managed to cling desperately to life. In the dark waters in which he fell, he woke up one day at death's door, met a simple girl, became her dearest friend, and from there a story of luck and pluck unfolds._

X-X-X-X-X

A phone rang, bringing life to one man. From the depths of a couch bed, covered by little more than bundles of unwashed clothes and a makeshift pillow created from a rolled-up jacket. A tanned hand shot up and clumsily reached for a phone that was right nearby a worn yet sturdy coffee table, where a cup filled with lollipops of various flavors rested.

"…Yeah, this is Detective... Naruto Uzumaki speaking. Who calls at seven thirty in the morning?" despite his tiredness, he possessed a mature voice. A soothing calmness to it provided by years of many, many events that changed a child into a man. Better explained: he sounded so tired he was out of damns to give and accepted the good and bad of the world. Or just lazy, as others would say.

The figure that emerged from the messy bed had a head of wild blond hair worn in a style best described as a mop top, his bangs hiding his ears. With a body bearing dozens of scars, ripped yet relatively lean, and with tan from a life under the sun. He cut a handsome picture as he got out of bed in little more than a pair of froggy boxers.

He listened to the voice on the phone, it sounded as grotesque as a pile of talking meat, or so the dozy detective thought as he listened to it. "**I have need of a detective's service, yes. Can you look out for a pale girl in a maid outfit? She's important to me, which is me Aeon! I want you to protect h-"**

"Sorry Miss, I do rescue and discovery jobs, bodyguard stuff just ain't my thing anymore, even more given how those that ask for the job haven't been trustworthy. Bye."

"**Wait!**" He hung up just as the voice tried to tell him to stay on the phone, then walked over to a record player and turned it on. He grinned as he heard the upbeat and wild music he so adored play.

"Lessee, should I run the Medici gambling den dry or go by Little Innsmouth? I've got that case regarding that missing Carol girl to take care of… Decisions, decisions… River King Casino it is."

Humming to himself as he made up his mind, he went into his one room shower and toilet, then begun cleaning himself up. He looked at an old newspaper on a desk at the other end of the room. It had a picture of a blond boy with whisker-like birthmarks found legally dead on a river bank. He loved reading the bit where said kid gave the guys at the morgue a scare when he tore through his coffin before he got roasted in the incinerator.

After finishing his daily routine, he slipped on his work attire. He bandaged his hands, which had the most scars, including two jagged stripes that traced their path all the way up to his elbows. He then placed black gloves over his fingers. Happy with that he slipped on a dark orange dress-shirt and adjusted a red tie.

With a grin he pulled on a black business coat and flipped a black trilby with an orange band into the air before it landed on his head at a jaunty angle. He kept the coat open, letting it flutter along his loosely tied up tie. Finally, he put on a pair of black dress pants, buckled them up, and slipped into a pair of two-toned shoes. Relishing his final item, he unwrapped a glimmering red lollipop and slipped it into his mouth with the stick hanging out from his lips in a manner akin to a cigarette. As he was about to leave, he paused, as if remembering something.

Whirling on his heel, he opened his desk drawer, and yanked out a pair of knuckle dusters that had metal knives attached to them, the blades could be removed by undoing the magnetic clamps that attached them to the knuckle dusters. Which in turn allowed for multiple avenues of attack, all at the tips of his fingers. Said knifes were colored a deep black with orange stripes running down their length. The brass knuckles themselves were colored a steely grey, and had pointed ends. Stashing them into his suit pockets, he was finally good to go.

The detective slid open his window and looked out from the high rise his office slash apartment was at. It was a three-story drop to the ground below, so he merely leapt out. His coat fluttered wildly in the gust that followed his movement. Spinning like a top, the detective let out a wild whoop of excitement as his body gathered momentum mid-air and then blasted forward. The rush of wind sent him flying like a rocket due to the torque he gathered.

With as much grace as a ballerina, he landed perfectly on a roof top nearly fifty yards away, his hand on his trilby while his whiskered cheeks spread into an amused if lazy foxy grin. "Well, I'm feeling lucky today, may as well see how good I am playing at the Medici's place."

He leapt off again, his entire body dashing through the air again. The only sign of his movement was a blur that very few residents noticed.

X-X-X-X-X

"You boys ain't getting too riled up, huh? I'm no slouch in gambling." Looking down at his royal flush then how the mafia around him were growing irritable with his constant winning, the detective stood up and took a small number of chips, just enough to pay for his rent, leaving most of the chips untouched.

With a whirl he took his coat which rested on his seat and put it back on, then exchanged the money he won for hard cash. Placing a thick but not massive wad of bills into his wallet, the detective hummed in an upbeat manner when he heard swing music get played on the radio. Jazz music had grown on him, and it would on anyone who visited New Meridian.

Until the music was abruptly stopped with a scratching noise that made him turn south. He was ready to leave but came face-to-magic-hat with a young woman looking irritated up at the much taller man. With a flourish he bowed down low to the young lady. His lazy foxy grin spread slightly yet remained calm as he took out the lollipop stick from his mouth while bowing. In doing so he avoided the attempted chokehold from one of the staff members. Quickly, he stood back up and flicked his lollipop stick.

The unusual projectile ricocheted off a roulette table, bounced off a few slot machines, then flew to stab the club radio dial, switching it back to on. The return of the tunes had the detective stand up and offer his lazy but genuine smile to the irritated woman tapping her foot at him.

"And how can I help you?" he asked while keeping his distance, studying the situation. He chuckled from seeing how his laidback demeanor irked her, "I didn't win too big. I just need enough money to pay this month's rent. Surely you can spare a couple hundred?"

"It's not that you won and didn't take a lot of money. It's that you steal from us when you do win big. Plus, you never come on a day when I'm not working. I don't mind you visiting me at the Cirque or when I've got my free time, but you better start planning it better Mr. Detective."

He talked to Cerebella, best described as utterly ravishing even on a bad day. Wearing an odd hat with a skull emblem and two flaps that went down the sides of her head, she wore a tight uniform that hugged the contours. It was best described as a jester's outfit, with a shoulder less orange dress with seemingly detached white sleeves, black thigh-high boots with pointy tips and skulls on the front where her foot and ankle met, and a diamond motif. The diamond in the rough theme she had fit her perfectly, but like many diamonds there were many who would take any measures necessary to use them for easy money.

He chuckled, taking a moment to talk seriously as he stared at her while putting another lollipop in his mouth, "I've been here long enough to see it's every man for himself in this city. But of course, you're not going to listen to me and will just pummel little old me out, will you not?"

Soon the hat morphed into a strange monster resting on the green haired lass' ponytailed head. Two huge arms with the same diamond motif sprouted from the sides, hanging inches from the ground yet not even bothering the girl or changing her center of gravity. She wasn't wearing the jester outfit for anything, she was an acrobat whose skills for walking on ropes were as natural as her large D-cups.

Her hat cracked its knuckles as she spoke, "You know me too well. I can't just let people think they can steal our money without proper retribution."

"Steal, me? That's rich considering this place. Heck, that's a fortune of yuks." He said with a lazy grin, put a hand on his hat to adjust it and his hands in his coat's pockets, "Ok then… let's dance ourselves to death.

Cerebella charged forward, her hat throwing a fast punch that was met with Naruto's right jab. She wasn't surprised to see him keep his left fist still in his coat's pockets, or that he had punched the air with his fist. His knuckle duster from before already equipped over that fist. They stepped back, Naruto put his hand back in his pocket while Cerebella posed casually with a bottle of champagne in hand.

The green head grinned, "A bottle of the best champagne to whoever brings me his hat."

Naruto instinctively turned his head to the side when a chair flew past him, brushing his hat. In that same instant he had thrown his left elbow back without pulling his hand out. Keeping his cool demeanor like a dancer in a stage, he twirled as he rammed his joint in his attacker's stomach, getting a direct shot into the man's liver and sending them flying into a poker table, snapping it in half.

Taking a moment to see what happened, the detective turned to the acrobat, "That's on him, right? No? Shoot." he asked with that lazy grin, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly but he really hadn't a care in the world.

A pair of goons came in from the side, trying to punch him and take his hat from him. With a quick spin akin to that of an energetic swing dancer's, he sent his right leg up. Its heel instantly connected squarely on their jaws, sending them flying back and impacting a wall. Then he had to duck a powerful punch that made the air thrum with force. Cerebella hadn't stopped fighting him either and was getting into the fight herself if her body's gyrating back and forth in excitement was any indication.

Before things got too messy, Naruto spun like a top, wind chakra gathering around his knives as the swing music kicked up almost as if timed with his moves. The moment the goons trying to attack him were two feet from him, he pulled out both knives and spun like a stop. He became a literal tornado, the blades of wind slashing the air and getting Cerebella's skirt to flutter wildly along with her heart. The wind's speed picked up, sending cards, men, tables, and chairs flying back with a quick combo that'd make two green clad shinobi proud. Cerebella slammed one of Vice Versa's massive limbs into the ground when the men started flying at her, using her other arm as a shield while also stabbing a pair of blades with her human hands into the floor to resist being blown away as well.

Once he stopped, twirling the knives between his fingers before pocketing them, he gave everyone a bow with his lazy Cheshire Cat grin, tipping down his hat, "I'm gonna level with you guys, I'm a couple steps above any random thug. You best go all in or all out because this can get wild. Go for broke or home, if you get me."

The acrobat's eyes widened in delight when she saw what happened next. When the wind stopped, Naruto stood in place while the goons rained around him like confetti. His eyes were glinting a deep blue that made Cerebella's blood pump wildly.

The days Naruto said were good were rare, so rare most of the time when he came around all she had to do was sic the mooks on him after he outwore his welcome and he'd high-tail it out of there after the place got roughed up a little. Never anything serious since he was well-liked for his big losses where he paid everything back in triplicate, occasionally even giving extremely valuable things to pay off his gambling debts.

One of the things he offered to pay his debt was an extraordinarily rare looking scroll he claimed was a gift from his dead master. All she knew about it was that it looked fantastic in Lorenzo's office, with its exquisitely painted script and symbols that seemed to glow bright red in the dead of the night.

When he woke up on a good day though… She could count on one thing more than any other, the fight they'd have would be enough to put her in a good mood for a week or two. He swore he only paid off his debts for her sake though. Something that warmed her heart when she was all by herself and thinking fond thoughts of the detective. Not that she'd ever admit she did such things to anyone.

"Alright, scratch that boys, I'll take care of him myself." She placed the champagne bottle on the ground and licked her lips slowly.

Naruto was just getting into the battle's rhythm as the swing music went into full overdrive, "Ready? If not, you could give me a kiss and I'd gladly drop down to my knees for you. Swear to the stars above girl." He offered with a wink.

She just grinned, "Keep dreaming."

He returned the grin, albeit still lazy, "Had to try, just wanted to see if you'd say yes."

With a wild swing his arm released a wind blade that moved faster than the naked eye could see. Cerebella had to dodge it just by sensing the air pressure change, which wasn't easy in the slightest as a cut opened over her cheek from the sharpness of the wind itself.

Licking the blood off her face when it came near her lips, Cerebella felt her blood pump so wildly she felt like a girl in love again. She didn't hate Naruto; in fact, he was one of the few guys she really liked. She enjoyed going out for a night to do battle with him when she was off the clock.

What really got her pumped, what made her like him so much, was the fact that they could fight so openly and with no real malice. She was usually business all the time which got tiring some nights, having a friendly rival like the detective really made her enjoy her job more.

She had even offered to take him out on a real date at least once. Only if he paid for dinner. She was still waiting on him to get off his lazy hide and coordinate something for them. She was a pricy girl and only the best would be appropriate for their date.

"Now we're talking." She said, getting ready, "It's not fun to fight you unless you put up a challenge, that's when slamming you around the dance floor feels the best."

The blond sighed, "History of my life, all dames I like seem to have it in for me. Well, let's see if we can end this soon, I don't want to ruin my suit by keeping this up for longer than needed."

Bobbing his head slowly, his body moved to the rhythm of the music playing. Its beat increased in speed along with his body. Cerebella licked her lips again, this time in some nervousness as she knew Naruto was going to show her what happened when he really got going. But even through that nervousness, she felt her heart beat as fast as it ever did. A blush came to her dark cheeks as she watched the blond detective's body blur out of sight.

Cerebella could only laugh loudly, her eyes taking in the sight of Naruto's body seeming to multiply due to sheer speed. "Let's dance, baby!"

She had to admire how Naruto flowed to a rhythm all his own, there was no one who could tell him what he could and couldn't do. And he did that just for fun. When he fought it was akin to a dance, every hit timed to the exact rhythm he was playing mentally. And right now, his rhythm told her he was going to blitz her. Slamming Vice Versa's hands in front of her body, she prepared for the coming hailstorm of blows she knew he was leading up to.

"Too slow, just too damn slow…" His smooth and relaxed voice came right from behind her and she could only spin about with a curse, yet to him it seemed like she was traveling through molasses. No matter how fast she tried to move, she saw his shoe already meeting her face.

In her eyes, all she saw was a gigantic demon fox towering over her. His heel stopped right in front of her nose, a huge explosion of force and air blowing her hair until it stopped. A drop of sweat rolled down Vice Versa's shocked expression while her face was a little slack seeing Naruto's free-spirited grin as he gently lowered his foot then flicked her nose.

"That was a great fight Cerebella." He said as if talking about the weather, "Let's go get some lunch at Little Innsmouth. I'm feeling in the mood for their deep-fried salmon and some soup..."

She growled at him, "Don't mock me!"

He side-stepped Vice Versa's punch with a soft smile, and then avoided the following combo by dancing around the large orange fists, "Had to try. Well then, see ya, girlie."

He waved cheekily but lazily at her as his body disappeared with a whirl of wind and leaves, leaving her to collapse in a heap on the ground. Her hands angrily pantomimed wringing the blond man's neck while she laid on the ground for a few seconds, Vice Versa pushing her body up as she could only sigh. Sweat poured down her face, back, and arms. All this fighting with nothing to show for it made the dark-skinned beauty feel like she got knocked around pointlessly.

"He didn't even have the courtesy to knock me out too. That damn lazy wannabe cop's looking down on me again." She steadied herself with a groan.

With a halfway muttered order, her fellow mafia got around to clean up the messed-up casino which quickly saw a return to business with virtually no diminishes. She on the other hand collapsed in a bathtub after everything was back in order. Warm water poured down her naked form, bubbles covered what wasn't already exposed as she could only sink down into the warm water and let it wash away her tired body.

Groaning to herself as she looked up at the white ceiling above her, Cerebella muttered out, "That guy is such a bastard keeping such a laidback façade… Next time he comes here and I'm off the clock, he can go jump off a bridge for all I care… Serves him right for doing this to me… And he can pay for dinner, a flick, an' a show too…stupid jerk…"

Her mutterings trailed off as she let the warm water wash away her aches, pains, and frustrations.

X-X-X-X-X

"Where's my favorite kitty...? Here kitty, kitty, kitty..."

Cheerfully but calmly – almost tiredly - singing out, Naruto walked into a busy restaurant. A delicious smell of fried fish, noodles cooking, and seafood wafted through the air and filled his nose with their scrumptious aroma. A fist impacted the side of his head in a friendly clip.

The blond detective let out a good-natured ouch as a feline body rose up from a seat. "Keep trying to be cute and I'll be using you as a scratching post." Said a woman with dark skin, a white bob with evened bangs, and a very, very revealing outfit.

Her clothes were a blue sweater top, a choker, and tight short shorts. There was little to nothing left to the imagination on her curvy figure. Although not as endowed as Cerebella she was a lovely sight. Some even found her to be an exotic sight with her sharp eyes, sharper nails and toenails, and black cat ears and tail. Add to that the scar collection on her cheek and limbs, and Nadia "Miss" Fortune was ready to be the life of the party when all eyes landed on her.

Letting her see an almost sleepy smile, he replied casually, "You can, so long as I get to rub your belly." he chuckled good-naturedly.

She kept a grin, "Thanks for the offer, but these abs could grind meat." She smugly aimed her fingers to a six-pack people ogled almost as much as her curves.

He shrugged, "I forgot I was talking to one of the guys." He chuckled when getting a punch to his arm, his laidback grin returning, "You hit like a girl."

"Care to put your money where your mouth is?" she teased, getting into a battle-ready stance, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

He contemplated the idea, but in the end waved it off, "Nah, I got enough money from teasing Cerebella."

That got her to smile, albeit somewhat forced, "The busty bruiser? You really are a glutton for pain."

"Only if I get hit, Nadia-chan." He beamed lazily.

"You'd like to get hit on, wouldn't you?" she gave him a lopsided playful grin.

Playfully following her flow, he raised his hands in mock-surrender, "Guilty as charged, officer. What'll you do, take little me to the slammer?"

She mock-thought on it, "Nah, officer Fortune doesn't have the fearsome ring I'd like to strike on the heart of my enemies."

Throughout their entire conversation both parties couldn't help but smile at their little banter. It was a sign of the odd friendship between a private detective that had had enough shit beaten out of him by the world to fill every cereal bowl to exist, and a sneaky cat girl with a love for bad jokes and potato chips as big as her hate for eating seafood.

The two met when he was fished out of the river and promptly awoke in a coffin about to be shoved into an incinerator. His screaming and all but naked body scared the life out of the crematorium workers, and what happened shortly thereafter was a wild run through the city as he was overloaded with sensation after sensation.

Eventually collapsing in Little Innsmouth, the young teen was found by a young Nadia Fortune, the cat girl at the time had taken him in out of the kindness of her heart and helped nurse him back to health. From there the two had a lifelong friendship that saw many bumps and hurdles, the worst being when she disappeared for a while only to get back with multiple scars and, as she put it, a curse. He never asked what happened to her and didn't know why came back the way she did. She got in trouble with the Medici's, and he didn't ask about that either. Whenever she was ready to talk he had his listening ears strapped on and tight.

Having no knowledge of her past made being her best friend at times hard. She was surprisingly reluctant to open about herself or what she had went through. The most he ever got from her was that she was from the bad part of New Meridian, and with that he was silenced. He had come from a bad place himself, and he still knew the backways of this city like the veins of his hand. Been to one seedy part of town, been to them all.

"You still won't let me help you?" he asked once they finished joking around.

She smiled sadly, crossing her arms, "Nah, you're a good guy. This is my problem, but thanks."

"Yet you still have to deal with the Medici." He said calmly.

"You know I don't like you going near those guys, especially after everything they've done." Nadia said with a nasty scowl.

"Personal, I see." He said with a slightly more serious look in his eyes yet kept the carefree, sleepy grin.

"You haven't told me the full story of how you got those scars of yours." She said with a grin.

He sighed, "Touché...But I still worry about you. And right back at you."

"You know I can handle myself," she was right, Naruto wasn't exactly up to arguing over it, but he still felt worried for such a friendly girl. "Someday I'll settle the score."

"I know they're nothing but scum, which is why you need to be careful." He sighed as he popped a lollipop in his mouth like it was a cigarette, "Word on the street is that those crooks got something big planned. With a few rumors I've heard here and there and how some kids have been missing lately, I can't be too careful around their turf even if I may get a few laughs outta my favorite acrobat."

He sat down right next to her. Nadia gripped a glass of milk tight enough for it to threaten to crack.

"I hate them, and I hate that you're even playing around with one of their no-good worthless leg-breaking thugs. That Cerebella is a mafia woman through and through, you know that." And there it was, one of the other reasons she really hated him going to the River King Casino, "You can make excuses of how they got plans, but you're still being friendly with those monsters."

Naruto closed his eyes with a grimace at how Miss Fortune was getting worked up again. "Tell you what, those bastards are going to pay, but killing them is giving them an easy way to escape facing that. Even if it was a slow, painful death, they deserve to rot in jail like the scum they really are to see how everything they did was for nothing... At least that's my inner sadist speaking."

Miss Fortune's fanged smile made his heart warm right up, her hand placed itself onto his and grasped it tight, which was something he responded to with earnestness.

"I always love hearing that come from your lips, Fishcake."

"Shouldn't have told you what my name meant." He sighed with a tired smile. Her cheeky salute and extension of her tongue made Naruto laugh softly, the blond detective slammed his hand down with a loud cheer, "Okay, you got it. Anyway, hey boy. Give us your best salmon noodle and chicken noodle. Me and my pal here want to eat big."

The catfish chef gave a gruff chortle before going to fulfill their orders, Minette passing by with a bright smile. "You always make Nadia smile there Naruto, keep doing that and she might fall for you mo-"

Whatever Minette's smiling face was about to say was zipped by a rocket fist launched by blood. Nadia held her free arm out with a deep blush and irritated look.

"Hey! Don't go giving this private dick any ammo, Minette, even if it's a joke!" Naruto just looked bemused if still almost sleepy as he knew Nadia was fond of him.

She didn't just talk to him for no reason. He was just the one person she could talk about what she suffered, because she knew he hadn't been smelling roses all his life either. She was the only one who saw just what he had been like before all his wounds healed up.

One of the most horrific was how he had a gigantic burn over his back, a massive white piece of skin that just peeled off when he was still recovering with her, leaving only seared black muscle underneath. She had never asked once what he went through, although she had always suspected the Medici had a hand in what happened. He denied them even having a thing to do with his sorry state, only confessing to her when he had been at his most vulnerable that the man who did that to him got what he deserved and wouldn't bother him ever again.

Their food arrived without much further complaint, and the two old friends and more ate in friendly silence. With a gentle and soft grin, Naruto slapped down his own money to pay for the tab. Miss Fortune walked next to him with a hum of thought, her clawed hands held behind her head.

"Hey Fishcake, what're you planning to do now? The days still long and I… well, hey! I know, I wanted to ask if you'd like to go hang out with me!" Nadia noticed Naruto's gaze turning to her when she opened her mouth, and with a quick grin and a shrug she asked him that.

"A date with Miss Nadia Fortune, huh? Sure, count me in. We could liven up this joint." His cheerful and relaxed grin made the cat woman grin herself, with a laugh both ran out to have fun in the sea-side town.

**X-X-x-X-x-X**

And that was the first chapter, the next one will pop up shortly. Neither of us will add much commentary for the mass upload of chapters. Thoughts, criticisms, commentary, reviews, all are welcome.

Here's my big brother's-tired thoughts.

**The Swordslinger here**: After I worked on Loser, my own Naruto/Skullgirls fic, The Lord Of Pages couldn't hold himself and did this... Nah, in truth, he was working with this idea before I even had a concept for Loser. You're practically reading what inspired me to do that fic. Long story short, he had this idea for a while, struggled with it, redid it several times with my help, and as we went along we also did Loser. Over time, he finally got into the mood to do this and now here it is.


	2. Benny Goodman

Swinging Detective Chapter 2.

No thoughts or commentary to be had. We've already said what we had to.

I do not own Naruto which is owned by Masashi Kishimoto (unfortunately), Skullgirls by Lab Zero Games, or any jazz songs, they're all owned by their respective owners.

Recommended listening for this chapter.

**Bold for demon speech, Painwheel speech, or similar characters talking.**

**_Bold and Italic for attack names._**

_Italic for thoughts and flashbacks_

Alice Francis: Shoot Him Down.

X-x-X-x-X

It was dark out when he got back to town after spending all day with Miss Fortune and getting a kiss from her to boot. Humming an upbeat song to himself, Naruto had a grin that only turned bemused when he spied a poster on a wall. It showed an attractive woman with dark skin in a deep black gown, black hair worn in a silky bobcut with a golden circlet around her head, and Egyptian features holding a microphone.

"See the amazin' Eliza on stage in town, performing lounge jazz… I do like jazz, but…" He read the poster with a curiously arched brow, then waved off at the poster, "I gotta do my job. Well, I already made money and messed enough with Cerebella-chan, not to mention Nadia… I can't let that kid wait any longer."

He stuffed his hands into his pockets, marching off to a café to settle find proper answers. Namely the Madman's Café, a favorite of late-night denizens like himself. Just the thought of the girl's parents worried faces made him turn serious. Sure, he tried to be upbeat and everything. In the end, reality was never kind. He hated dealing with personal things like that. When it came to it, though, he couldn't say no to any good parent. And he could never turn down a person in need regardless of how bizarre or dangerous the case may be.

Slumping onto a chair next to a girl drinking a milkshake, Naruto slapped some loose change down with a look of exhaustion hiding his worry, "Coffee, black if you'd be so kind. Spare the cream but put in sugar." He pulled a picture from his pocket, "And if you'd like a big tip, please tell me you've seen this cutie, pal."

He ordered from the owner, who shrugged and fetched him a cup of the hot beverage before taking the picture. Resting his elbows on the counter and then his chin on his intertwined fingers, the tired private dick turned his eye when he noticed his companion drinking her milkshake pause to stare at him. His eyes briefly took in her form before he shook his head and focused back on waiting for his drink and answers.

"Sorry, mate, no one's seen her." The owner said, giving him the picture back.

"Worth a try," he sighed before glancing at his female companion.

The girl was cute, he had to admit. Although something felt off the moment his eyes stared at her lovely hat. He could swear something moved inside. Perhaps it was the long day and he really needed his coffee, but bad experiences told him to be careful around any girl.

Thus, he decided to make some light conversation, "None of my business, but this isn't the time for a cutie like you to be here." Her outfit gave her away, even if her curvy and lovingly shapely and plump body could be that of a grown woman's.

"Piss off." Was the reply he got from the girl's side, but the voice was just unfittingly deep.

He would have questioned it, but he had seen weirder things. A girl with a voice to make Pavarotti green with envy seemed normal in comparison to a cat woman whose body was like a living puzzle set. Whatever the case, with that tone and confidence it was sure she could hold her own.

"Sorry then, little lady." He replied with a soft smile, waving a hand, "Long day, so my tongue and brain aren't working that well… Threatening as this may seem, I just don't want to see a girl in danger because of the bad company that walks around at this hour."

"Don't you get the hint?" that gravelly voice again went straight to the point.

"I can…" he said as smoothly as he could with the hostility he got, sliding a finger over the trim of his hat, using it to point at the girl's side, "It's this guy dressed like a rooster that may not get the hint."

The guy was obviously in the mafia, and he couldn't keep his hands to himself, "Sorry, dear gentleman, I think the lady here would appreciate more if she had some time with someone who'd treat her nicely. What say you, babe? Want to-"

He recognized the man, and he knew that the guy being a lothario would bite him in the ass. Probably much sooner than he thought. He kept track of everyone in the Medici Mafia. If the man was in his right mind and not thinking with the head below, he'd recognize Naruto was here too.

"Sorry, Ricardo, but if she said no to me, what makes you think your straightforward approach will do?" Naruto asked, tilting his hat down to cover his face and the tired but amused grin on it. "A warning, kittens like her ain't afraid to show their claws."

"Heh, aren't you rude?" the gangster asked smugly, trying to reach for the girl's face, "This pretty thing doesn't need guys like-"

"Don't touch her!"

That deep voice was followed by the girl's hat bursting into confetti. Naruto took a moment to blink when he saw a face with sharp fangs and yellow eyes on the other side of her head. He understood what moved in her hat when seeing her pitch-black hair wiggled around like living tendrils.

Before he could ask a thing to the girl, she had already grabbed the gangster with her living hair and promptly smashed him face first on the counter. Naruto mentally felt a shudder of empathetic pain run down his head; Riccardo would definitely be feeling that tomorrow morning…

Naruto whistled, "She's like the bunny, but actually cute…" he whispered as he walked to her, his hands in his pants pockets, "I guess you're the gentleman keeping the little dame safe."

The yellow-eyed face growled at him, "What's it to you? You think Imma let you near-"

"Samson, enough!" the girl said, using her hands to grab her hair and put it in place, giving the face on the other side of her head a glare as best as she could, "Please, he at least tried to be friendly."

"How do you know he wasn't in cahoots with that punk to-"

"Um, sorry, I'm here." Naruto said, waving his hand with an awkward smile, "I may need my cup of coffee, but I'm awake enough to be emotionally hurt by what you may want to say next."

"Samson! Just stop already…He's not a bad guy… his eyes are too nice for that." she finally tugged on the hair with a grimace. It went silent and looked closely at Naruto with harsh yellow slits.

The private detective held out a sucker with an honest smile as a peace offering, "Want a lollipop?"

The girl looked down at the innocent looking lollipop in her hands, curiously unwrapping the shiny gold paper to reveal an innocent looking silvery colored sweet treat. Just as she meant to put it in her mouth, Samson snatched it from her. The girl yelped in shock before he crunched it in his mouth with a suspicious look at Naruto.

"…The Hell?! Mint?! Blagh! What the hell kind of sucker tastes like that?!" He spat out the lollipop stick, gagging as bits of candy came from his toothy maw.

The stick was picked up by Naruto who grinned at them as he pulled out another, unwrapping it. "Sorry about that, I keep many different flavors with me. I usually keep mint in case my breath… Anyway, sorry, I didn't think you wouldn't like it."

"Who the Hell has candy that tastes like friggin' toothpaste?!" Samson roared. His tendrils pulled Naruto towards his face, and made the girl feel embarrassed at the fact she had the blond on her back.

"Hey, sorry, I just grabbed the first one I could. I got other flavors if you want another."

Samson snarled as Filia looked at him reproachfully before smiling at Naruto, "So what kind of guy are you Mr…?" he smiled sheepishly due to her cuteness, though he still seemed tired.

"Uzumaki, Naruto Uzumaki. Private detective. On a much more cheerful subject, what's your name?"

"Filia. Just Filia." she was surprised by the sheer friendliness around the blond, like the detective wished to avoid fighting at all costs. Even Samson was a little curious about why the man was just so… peaceful.

Adjusting his tie with a chortle, Naruto gave them a shrug, "I can tell your partner doesn't like me much. Worry not, I mean no harm. Unless someone else does. For the most part, I just enjoy the music this city has to offer."

A pause later, and she asked, "So, you're a detective, right?" she fidgeted but looked him in the eye.

He gave her a curious look, scratching his whiskered cheek, "Yeah? Need some help, lil' lady?"

"You're looking for someone right now, aren't you?" She had paid attention, "Sorry if it sounds rude, but I heard you talking to the owner."

"Yeah, there's a missing girl from a school, her parents asked me to look for her since no one else was willing to do it. The police got really cagey when they begged for help and told them their daughter's name. Carol was her… do you know her?" He keenly noticed Filia's gasp and guilty frown as they lingered on her face for more than a few seconds.

"That name…" she breathed out, a dazed look on her face as she tried to focus on something but couldn't.

Something did manage to click for her though, he had guessed as much when her eyes seemed to focus again, the synapses in her brain firing up and feeding her fragments of memory.

A brown-haired girl who although she was kind and happy didn't possess too many friends. An image of Filia herself but with straighter blonde hair reaching to her or trying to. All of this flowed into her brain and overrode it briefly with feelings of guilt, worry, anguish, so many thoughts and feelings rammed themselves into her very core in the span of a few seconds and made her head ache terribly. The memories she had stopped just when she saw the brunette once again before the brown-haired girl ran off in tears, leaving her only with guilt and worry that she did something cruel to the girl.

The private detective stopped suddenly and unwrapped a new lollipop. He shoved a dark brown candy in his mouth and chuckled to himself when he tasted delicious cocoa. He turned to Filia with a serene look on his face.

"Hey, if you know what happened or what this Carol was like, I'd appreciate if you told me about it. I want to bring her back where she belongs. If she's been nabbed by the Medici, if she's involved with a gang or something, if she ran away from home because of bullying at school… I'm listening right now because you look like you need a listening ear."

When he dropped his tired man façade, he looked genuinely caring and mature. Nadia told him that he became more like the kid she met when they were younger. She called it being true to himself, he thought it just made him look sappy and hated how he could get soft at times.

Filia closed her eyes and clenched them tight, emotions and thoughts warring across her face until she snapped them open, the determined red eyes staring resolutely up into his blue orbs. "Okay, I'll tell you everything. Just, please… promise me. You'll let me help you find Carol!"

Naruto looked surprised by her request, then looked her over in a more serious light. Despite her pleasant and plump body, he could tell behind her kind heart and sweet face lurked the will and desire of someone who wanted to atone for something they did wrong. He mused that if she hadn't met him that night, she might have done something drastic and ruined her life down the line. He had seen too many people make the worst of choices and become irredeemable monsters. So, he nodded at her with the necessary gravitas to show he agreed with her desire to help him.

'_What the heck? Nadia is always telling me to make more friends anyway_.' He nodded, "Alright, agreed. Welcome on board. Let's find somewhere a little more private so we can discuss this in full."

"Just don't try anything funny, private dick." Samson said, "Kid's got it bad enough with or without me, I ain't letting you hurt her."

"Fine by me." He said with a genuine smile, feeling like Samson was more of a real man than most men in the city.

Leading her on, he led her into a private park, before sitting down next to her on a bench. He inwardly thanked the fact parks were some of the few places kids could be safe even at night. Grasping her hands tightly, Filia bit her lip for several tense seconds before she begun talking and talk, she did.

"Carol was a classmate of mine. I wanted so badly to reach her, she needed help the most, but something happened. I don't know what it was. Knowing that I never helped her and that she's missing, I now know I need to act. Mr. Detective, thank you. At last I remembered something…"

Filia truly looked upset with what she may have done or not done to help Carol, until Naruto reached out again to pat her shoulder gently. The detective looked at her with a sad smile.

"Don't you worry about what you did in the past that you're ashamed of, the present's the best time to do the right thing." His words came from experience, and he talked from the heart too. Then, he frowned, "Although, amnesia, huh?"

"Yeah, it's part of the reason I'm wandering around at times..." she confessed.

"You're just trying to sound cool…" Samson said lowly but remained calmer than before.

Filia tried to reply but Naruto just gave her a small grin.

His blue eyes looked into hers with as much truthfulness as he could show, "I think I found a good way to pay you, little lady. How does finding your missing memories sound?"

"Mr. Detective…" Filia started until his face broke into a grin.

"I'd say we had enough moping around." He got up as he turned to Filia with a lazy grin. "Let's go. We need to trace your and Carol's steps and find out just what happened to the two of you."

Filia walked beside the taller man, a few seconds passed by before she asked him with a somewhat naïve tone as he gave her a smile, "You think she was kidnapped Mr. Detective?"

"Carol was kidnapped any way you look at it. She's not the first though, my logic is that it was by someone who didn't care who they got, only that they were young and female. Now for what reason you got me, but whoever did it was more than likely nasty." He explained in a serious tone, sounding truly mature.

FIlia clenched her fists tightly, her red eyes focused with even more determination than before, "Do you think it's the Medici?" she asked.

Rubbing the back of his head, he sighed, "Even they can't get away with child slavery without crackdowns. Last time they did, many of their higher ups got slammed by the media for that, worse they caught the eyes of the Canopy Kingdom, had to go underground and lose a lot of money lest they risk Princess Parasoul coming down on them with the Black Egrets at her heels. They'd be a little more discreet for this. Kidnap a few kids right out of Maplecrest? That gets bad attention fast. Kidnap one girl and no one knows where she went? Easy to explain away, kids do stupid stuff for any reason."

Samson filled Filia in on Naruto's train of thought when he noticed her looking a little lost, "What the private dick means kid, is that your friend Carol was kidnapped because it's a really easy thing to lie and say she ran away or somethin'. One girl missing suddenly won't be noticed for a while except by her close friends and parents. That's why Carol hasn't been found yet. No one knows nothing and anyone who might know somethin' is shushed more than likely, amirite there private dick?"

"Right on the rent money, I even fear someone is blocking my investigation big time. Leads to where she was go cold, the police don't help, not like they ever do, and whenever I look into things I get dead ends. Something's definitely fishier than the piers."

Filia was able to fill in the details on her own from there, and the conclusion she came to had her blood boiling, "You think someone's keeping her away from her parents? Why? What do they get out of this?"

"Now that's the million-dollar question, isn't it?" Naruto said and suppressed a sigh.

Filia nodded with a firm look, allowing him to continue. "I know this is not what the Medici usually do in comparison to what kids they'd target. They look for big money, a single little girl like Carol isn't even pocket change for those guys."

As much as she liked being kind and didn't like fighting people, Filia knew that whoever was responsible for Carol's disappearance wasn't someone she'd hold back against. What made her heart hopeful and her mind calm was that the tall man at her side felt exactly the same.

X-X-X-X-X

The two of them looked into the matter late into the night, going all over the deserted streets to find any shred of clues they could make use of to find a path to Carol's whereabouts. It then became a pattern as time passed by in any attempts to encounter hair or hide from the girl. Of course, Filia had her own life to attend to as a schoolgirl while Naruto kept working whenever she was in classes.

"Excuse me, but what is your business here?" asked Filia's teacher, who Naruto recognized.

"Mrs. Victoria, right?" he asked with a lollipop on his mouth. A true stunner of a dame in a double-breasted white suit, a black business skirt, and high-heels. The fact she had a baton and her hair done in a large bun made him slightly envy the kids who'd see her every day. Her voluptuous body and statuesque presence put other women to shame. And she topped it all with a pair of reading glasses.

"Answer my question, please." She replied with her arms crossed under her large bust.

Ruffling his hair, he let out a lazy chuckle, "Picking up a partner. One of your student's helping me with a little business involving a missing girl."

"Carol, right?" she asked more at ease, "Do you..." she paused, eyeing him carefully.

Pulling out his lollipop, he answered truthfully but with a tired smile, "I'd like to say I have a solid clue on where she's at, but you could see I'm lying. Doesn't mean I'll give up easy like the cops here."

"I wish you the best, then, but just to be clear..." her baton cut his lollipop's stick before he could blink, a shocked expression on his still placidly smiling face, "...I will hold you accountable for my students."

"Heh, wouldn't dream of making them cry." He said and held his lollipop by the half stick he had left.

"Good." She said and closed her eyes, "However, I do have a clue, Private Detective Naruto Uzumaki. I'm aware of a few things as a teacher should. Carol was a healthy student who often visited the nurse."

"Huh...you think there's something off with the nurse here?" he asked, pulling out a notepad.

"A substitute arrived here before her disappearance and did constant checkups, until she left one day. I do recall she often had Carol visit her, which wasn't an issue since she seemed sickly."

"But only looked sick after this nurse arrived, right?" he saw her train of thought.

Mrs. Victoria nodded with a bitter expression, "Sadly, it was all under the government's paperwork and we can't hand out profiles to anyone. One of the downfalls of being a public school."

"Tell me about it." He remembered his childhood not being the best for several reasons. "Thanks for the tip, though. Looking into this could be easier if you had any idea on what this nurse is and looks like."

"I have no memory, regrettably. Nor does most of the staff here." She sighed irritably, "We're all told to man our positions and the government just sets whoever's needed here. But that nurse wasn't even with us in meetings or even around the halls. Everything we heard from her was from the principal, and he'd never talked to or seen her."

"And since this isn't something you can talk about with the big wigs breathing down your necks, telling a new friend of odd things you've seen helps...calm your nerves, doesn't it?"

"I am glad you've studied people well."

"Comes with the job, teach."

"That's Mrs. Victoria, young man."

He chortled and adjusted his hat, "One more question, though. Any other students affiliated with this mystery lady?"

"Only Carol visited her often."

"It's as good a lead as any, speaking of..." he smiled when seeing Filia exit class for the day, "Hey, ready to hit the town?"

"Y-yes, I've talked to my classmates of where they saw her last!" the plump cutie beamed.

"Good, because this will take a while."

He walked off with Filia in tow, the girl's shy and faltering steps being just behind the tired yet confident stride of the private detective. Mrs. Victoria stared at them sadly, feeling a pang of guilt enter her heart. Softly whispering to herself, she clutched one arm tightly.

"You better treat her right detective. Filia's a sweet girl, and she's been through so much pain for her young life." He shocked her by raising a hand when he was just a step from exiting the school, he turned his head and tilted his hat in understanding at her request.

"He heard me. What kind of man are you, Mr. Naruto?" she asked herself, unable to stop a smile from crossing her face, she could trust a man like that. He would do Filia a world of good. As her teacher, Mrs. Victoria felt unable to help the poor girl.

She'd trust that Naruto, regardless of her initial misgivings towards his responsibility, would be good for Filia's self-confidence.

X-X-X-X-X

Feng was Cerebella's best friend and worried sick for her. Her busty bruiser was thickheaded and quite a lovely girl, but her temper was her weakness. Also, she didn't think things as well as she pretended to do or attempted to. Perhaps that was why she wanted to genuinely help her. However...

"I'm not sure if this is genius or insane." Said the petite Chinese girl as she held a letter from Vitale, explaining what was to happen in short order.

They were to stay put during Naruto's excursions into Maplecrest, and not interfere with the detective's work. Vitale had always been wary of the blond man, nearly ten years since he arrived in New Meridian, and to this day they still hadn't figured out how someone with such a unique set of skills had slipped under their noses for so long.

A competent detective, a brilliant mind, and an excessively powerful fighter all in a disarming swing-loving exhausted package. Naruto was a member of the one in a million. A one in a million was slang among the underworld. It was used for someone who was otherworldly powerful and remained under the radar until without warning they burst onto the scene and became a game changer. They were among the most feared of that dark world since they often had no allegiance to anything but their own convictions. Which meant that doing business around them was a risk should they consider such actions intolerable.

Hating and suspecting the detective, Vitale was attempting to reign in his most treasured instruments burgeoning infatuation with the detective. Five years he hadn't paid attention to the blond detective, and in that time, Cerebella had begun to express some form of doubt towards her work. In the Medici Mafia, a tool that didn't do what it was supposed to was discarded.

All this Feng knew but didn't have the heart to tell Cerebella who had been knee-deep in this slime for so long she had since rationalized the reality in any way she could. Believing that the Medici's were just misunderstood and were doing their jobs. Denying and blocking out the discrepancies that told her heart the truth, refusing to see the reality and blocking out her genuine good nature with her loyalty to the only family she had ever known.

Feng had seen Cerebella grow from a teenager at 18 to a young woman at 23. Naruto had come into their lives at 20. Five years had seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye. The odd detective still looked the same for them. He changed things entirely just by meeting them. His fists dented Cerebella's impenetrable armor of self-assurance, and now she was coming to a crossroads.

Feng knew that her best friend might have to make a harsh choice one day. Staying loyal to the Medici. Or following her own budding sense of morality.

On that day, she'd make her own choice. But it'd be the same regardless of what Cerebella did. She'd follow her best friend to the ends of the Earth if that's what it took to remain at her side.

"And he didn't come to tell me?" Cerebella asked in shock.

"More like he's...busy." Feng didn't believe it, but told it as it was said to her. "With those disappearances from some of our men, he doesn't feel like taking a risk."

"And why send me after Whiskers?" Cerebella asked her.

"He...didn't." Feng corrected her, surprised by the hurt on her friend's face, "What's with that look?"

"I...I really wanted a rematch with Whiskers, is all." The girl sulked again, to which Feng became sterner.

"Cerebella, you know that Vitale hates you seeing him. Why do you like fighting him so much?"

Cerebella looked away, mumbling something while gripping her arm in frustration, "isnotmnpshanl."

Her mumbled voice made Feng raise an eyebrow, "Is not what?"

"It's not personal! Whiskers fights me because he likes challenging me! For once I don't feel like I'm being asked to do something! He's a real challenge. Someone who pushes me to my limit and who I push right back! And he's great company!" Her outburst was heralded by her face turning a bright red. She looked to the side quickly, poking her fingers together, and said, seeming dreamy at the end, "Besides… Whiskers always give me one hell of a time. I've never been so alive as when on the edge of my rope, fighting him to a standstill… Five years and he's given me the best fights of my life."

Feng coughed, a little embarrassed by the fact that Cerebella had her hand on her very lovely breast and a bit frustrated with how she missed the point of their assignment entirely to focus on her obsessions, "Our target is a woman sighted near the missing members of the family." She handed her a picture of a woman with a ponytail, "As far as we know, she's been at Maplecrest on the lookout for Vitale's men."

"Hmm...Whiskers does have a knack for finding targets, right?" Cerebella grinned.

"W-what's with that face?" Feng grew worried.

"Well, what Vitale doesn't know won't hurt him, right?" the acrobat beamed, "And I want to face him, so all we gotta do is kill two birds with one stone."

Feng gave her best friend a concerned stare, "And your plan is to just tell him?"

"Yep!" that smile said it all, and the Dragon Empire girl rubbed her temples in response.

"Okay." That said it all, and with that the two of them got to writing a note. It didn't take long to do, and together the two switched their hand writing, alternating lines to mix up the flow and make it impossible to trace back to them.

Cerebella snuck it underneath his door while he was away from the apartment, snickering to herself before she crept away again. Feng waiting for her at the entrance.

"You're done?" she asked, Cerebella giving her a happy little nod, "Whiskers will do all our dirty work for us! Aren't we just the smartest little mafia women in the room?"

Wincing, Feng flashed Cerebella a strained grin, "We are, of course."

Holding her hands together behind her back, Cerebella whistled a jazz song to herself playfully.

The table was set, and she knew what'd happen next would be one exciting sight.

X-x-X-X-x

Next chapter will be up shortly.


	3. Alice Francis

Swinging Detective chapter 3.

I do not own Naruto which is owned by Masashi Kishimoto (unfortunately), Skullgirls by Lab Zero Games, or any jazz songs, they're all owned by their respective owners.

Recommended listening for this chapter.

**Bold for demon speech, Painwheel speech, or similar characters talking.**

_**Bold and Italic for attack names.**_

_Italic for thoughts and flashbacks_

Recommending listening for this chapter.

Asura's Wrath OST: Wind.

Asura's Wrath OST: Fang.

Dark Souls 3 OST: Yhorm The Giant.

X-x-X-x-X

"Mr. Detective? Why do you always carry lollipops?"

Sitting at a park bench watching the sun set, Filia rubbed her eyes since for the past three hours following her exit from school, Naruto had been chasing a 'hot tip' he claimed he got. Mentioned that it was from one of his many contacts in the streets, the tip told him.

"Search Maplecrest on a cold night, you might find who you're after. – C & F." It was from an anonymous tip-giver who didn't bother putting any address for the sender. Naruto had no idea as to their gender or identity, but the tip they gave him was worth looking. If it was a trap, though, he would have backup.

Sitting at the bench with Filia, he acknowledged her question with a dozy smile, "Because a little bit of sweetness does me a mountain of good in being more upbeat. World's bitter enough."

Samson crossed his arms behind Filia's back. The girl stared up at the autumn leaves as they swirled in the breeze. Blazing orange, bright red, and brilliant yellows flew past them while Naruto sucked on his lollipop.

"Eating the sweet to get rid of the bitter." She said, leaning back, content to soak in the sights and smells of autumn. Naruto reached out and handed her a sucker of her own, Samson gave him a fierce glare until he looked away. Filia unwrapped it, and bit into the bright orange lollipop, "Oh~! Tangerine! How tasty!" her eyes closed into happy little U's, and she sucked on the treat a little bit more forcefully.

"Enjoy the little things. Take in the moment, alright? We've got work when the moon rises." He instructed her, Filia giving him a nod.

"Right! I won't be caught off guard, Mr. Detective!" She exclaimed, surprised when he fondly patted her shoulder to reassure her.

"I only worried that you'd be hurt."

Blushing as red as a cherry, Filia swallowed a dry mouthful, Samson letting loose a groan of irritation, "Aw shaddup, and let's just get to work. You two can be mushy-mushy when we're done with this job."

"Heh. Right then." Naruto got up just as a storm of leaves flew past his head, Filia following him from behind with eager steps.

They searched all throughout the empty streets of Maplecrest as they always did, but this time they were searching for direct clues on the whereabouts of that mysterious nurse. She had been said to have a house, but when they visited it, was closed down and for sale. The mystery deepened but Naruto knew that they were getting close to the bottom of it all.

Just as they were close to calling it quits for that night, having repeated this search for close to a week now, especially as Filia yawned every other step, Naruto stopped and held out a hand to halt his partner when he felt a presence trailing them as they walked through an empty street.

He had sensed this presence before. Several times in fact when he was investigating leads. He had seen that pair of breasts and hair before. A woman with blue hair and weird cross-shaped eyes was kind of a hard person to miss. Each time he had seen her, she disappeared from his senses when she noticed him watching her. He didn't know her name, nor did he know what kind of outfit she associated herself with.

Blue Mystery – as he had playfully dubbed her - had always worn a trench coat and full-length scarf when following him, so he didn't know her fighting abilities or her techniques either. The closest he had ever come to seeing her in person was just a brief day ago. When he woke up and had to pay a visit to Princess Parasoul. As he traveled to his de-facto boss' palace, he spied that figure trailing him silently. His tension must've been felt by her, because when he turned around to look at her, he saw her stare right at him.

Seems things were getting interesting at long last. He thought as he held his hands into his pockets.

"Ya know, where I come from ninjas are so good at stealth they hide in plain sight while wearing kill-me orange. You're not half that good. So, care to tell me what warrants you coming after us?"

He asked no one apparently since the streets were deserted to Filia's eyes, until Samson let out a gruff warning of, "Kid! Above us!"

She spun around and looked up. Sure enough, the woman Naruto had talked to was already leaping down from a lamppost. Without thinking twice, Naruto's hands went to his pockets, fishing out his knuckle dusters, he equipped the knives faster than she could keep up with. Filia just blinked, and in that motion, she heard steel clashing.

Upon opening her eyes, she saw Naruto with his hands back in his pockets, sharp scalpels on the ground simply nailed to the hard-concrete floor like it were hot butter, and the woman stepping into the light. She had a casual and plain natural sway to her hips with her every step, blue hair done in a ponytail, and only a single red eye staring at them. Her other eye was covered by a medical eye-patch, her mouth was behind a surgeon mask, her ankles wrapped in bandages, her feet snuggly put in white flat shoes, and her hands hidden by latex gloves.

Her body, which could bounce marbles with its curves and eclipsed Filia's with the incredible proportions to the chest and rear areas, was in the kinkiest nurse outfit she'd ever think she'd see, with or without amnesia. It was a simple white dress with cross shaped buttons, a skirt so short it hid nothing of her succulent thighs, and the top couldn't contain the large cups that threatened to rip it with their sheer size. She even had a nurse's cap with a cross on it.

Despite her assets, she had no trouble bowing down with a smirk visible behind her mask, "You sure like to talk. Not sure where the private part of your profession comes if you're this chatty." She said, reaching behind for a bone saw on the back of her waist with a katana's handle.

"Just so you know, I'm tempted to make a really bad nurse joke." Naruto said with a well-acted goofy grin while crouching down, gripping his butterfly knives tighter, "But a lady like you… You're another sad story in this city, aren't ya?"

The woman narrowed her eye, "Takes one to know one. I'm guessing your former profession wasn't an easy one. So, tell me, what's the cost of loyalty where you're from?"

"Life and death." He said, straight to the point but with a laidback grin.

"Same here." The woman replied before turning to Filia, "I was curious, but with you two things can get complicated… I'd recommend you watch out for fights here; they won't be good for your health."

Samson arched an imaginary brow, "Did she seriously make such a bad joke?"

"Lady you are a riot…" Naruto let loose a tired chuckle with a carefree grin before walking to her, "Now, I try to be gentlemanly when I can. However, I can't hold back my punches when I see someone bear their fangs the instant they see someone as prey."

His eyes narrowed in a smooth, composed yet serious stare. The nurse opened her mouth in a nasty grin, the face-mask pulling against her mouth in a quite disturbing manner.

"You're too nonchalant. My boss didn't think you'd be such a big threat, but you've been looking into things a little closely for our liking. I'm here to… give you incentive to stop looking into the case."

She reached down for the bone-saw at her side, but not before leaping back in a swift hop when Naruto dashed towards her, his fist coming out in a wild jab that sent a spear of wind past her face. Wind rushed past her and made her blue hair blow wildly. She felt her eyes widen as with a kick, he pushed her follow up swing with a huge IV stand out of his path. He slammed his leg against her shoulder and used that force to make her weapon hit the ground where his foot landed onto it.

Trapping it in place, he leaned in close enough for her to lock eyes with him. Such incredible blue eyes, she thought. He thought the same with her intense red eye. Their pupils were locked, and he leaned back, a scalpel swinging past his head. She had meant to sever his carotid vein but didn't even get his hair. Dodging back with a swing-style sway, Naruto faced her, the howl of the cold night echoing past them, kicking an orange storm around their bodies. Each vermillion tilt of the innumerable number of leaves made their hair ruffle gently. They were at an impasse. Detective vs ninja. Wind vs death. Blue vs red.

"You're not half bad, you know?" Valentine complimented him, and she was surprised by the tone of sincerity in her words. She was taking this goofy looking man as seriously as she could.

"I was only genin." Her eyes narrowed, the reference to the Shinobi Ranks of old made her blood vibrate in excitement, "I was the equivalent of a child in rank."

"I would've been jounin. You hail from Dragon Empire? They're the only ones who still use the Shinobi Code." She asked, probing for information. He didn't seem terribly impressed with her rank. Which considering he admitted he was below her, made her more than wary. Were the Genin where he was stronger than the third tier of rank?

"I've never been outside of New Meridian. But I'm not from around here, I'll tell you both that much." He confessed without a care; this of course made her hackles rise more before.

Everything about the detective didn't add up, and despite herself Valentine was more than concerned. He was far faster than he should be, far stronger than she was used to, and capable of understanding Shinobi fighting techniques. Considering the Last Hope had employed a wide variety of techniques and fighting styles arranged around the Shinobi and Special Forces manner of fighting and she had never heard of anyone other than her old friends who knew the Shinobi techniques, he was an enigma. Her usual trickery and subterfuge in fighting would not aid her, but she wasn't about to give up either.

"Tell me then, 'Detective' Naruto. What are you going to do if I tell you to drop this case and go back home?" She hid one hand behind her back, withdrawing a handful of syringes, as he opened his mouth to respond to her question, she made her move! With a twist of her hip for added torque she sent them flying, grinning when she saw him dodging their path with a sway back. "Too naïve!" She had anticipated his dodge and swung the IV stand in an arc, ramming it into his body.

She wasn't too surprised when she noticed he had crossed both arms in a block. Sending him flying into the air, the nurse made Filia bite her lip. However, the girl stayed back, wanting to see how Naruto fought first so her fighting style could mesh with his. It would be their first actual battle alongside each other as partners. Or rather, she was telling herself that. Part of her, even Samson, could tell the man could do it.

"Kid, you going to be alright?" Samson whispered to her.

She nodded rapidly, swallowing tightly as her heart begun to beat faster, "We'll do it together, Samson. Mr. Detective's counting on me to fight alongside him from now on. I can't let him down."

Naruto flipped onto his hands, an acrobatic spin kick being punished by Valentine flipping into a mule kick, using her smaller height to shove him back with her feet impacting his stomach. He caught himself mid-fly and landed on the ground in a crouch. Biting onto her mask, Valentine had to give him another thing. He was good at catching her blows. She nailed him in the chest, but she got his arms to block the kick.

"You're pretty good." He felt the need to point both fingers at her as he said that.

She responded by shooting forward, spearing him in the chest with a kick. When he blocked it as expected, the crosses on her stockings shot out attached to the cloth bandages and nailed him in the face. Spinning around mid-kick, she launched him up with a second kick that was lodged underneath his chin. Kicking off the ground, she whipped out her hack-saw and swung it up. Only to get the full length of his leg to strike her back down. He had spun around to face her while airborne!

"You're the kind of man I could really get attached to, Detective!" Valentine's eyes danced with madness, her hack-saw scraping with a grind of metal against his twin trench knifes.

The clash of blades threw up a series of sparks, the light of battle flashing in their eyes when they landed down. Naruto took a rough and dirty boxing stance while she landed in a crouch bobbing her hips back and forth with her hack-saw out and ready for slicing then dicing him into corpse parts.

"You're the kind of girl I think would be dangerous for both my health and my sanity, Nurse." Unlike her, he didn't use a hint of sarcastic emphasis on her descriptive title. A difference in their respective opinions on each other. His hat dipped low to hide the steel glint that traced its way over his eyes.

Both kicked each other on the gut to get some distance, "Only idiots think they're sane." Valentine spat back slightly winded, just like him. "Look at the world around you before you think the living have it easy."

"Sorry, I fail to see how life can be so depressing." he retorted calmly. "Then again, I'm the kinda guy who prefers the little pleasures over questioning life itself... It always gets gloomy at the end."

"You've got no idea." She narrowed her only eye at him, hack-saw ready. "It's obvious now how much of an idiot you are. Avoiding sadness isn't going to make sorrow disappear. In this world it's kill or be killed. Sooner or later-" he cut her off with a bold step forward and a dismissive wave.

"Sooner or later, some idiot is going to try and use a hostage on me. Some idiot is going to pull a dirty trick and attack me while I'm sleeping. Sooner or later, some sad fool like you is going to think you can depress me with the reality of this cold bitter world." He slowly lifted one fist up, a strange sphere forming in it as he gave a heave. "I've restrained so much of myself. Lost sight of my past. I gave up on this world for a time. Just settled into routine for five lonesome years. What could I do to fix anything, who could I save?"

Valentine gave him a sneer, her lips pulling at her mask, "You're not that naïve then! So why do you waste your time, fighting for a weak and soft princess who doesn't have the nerve to take the necessary steps to fight?!"

His response surprised her, "Because, the Princess is the one I swore loyalty to. I've dwelt on my misery for too long. If this rotten system of Skullgirls created by that disgusting abomination the Skull Heart continues, then I'll have no choice but to stand up to deal with it. I'm not going to let anyone be hurt by that monster again."

Laughing bitterly, he crushed the sphere in his hand, his eyes shooting up to clash with hers. He seemed to have decided against whatever technique he wanted to use. Valentine wondered what it was. A Jutsu? That'd require the usage of chakra. And only Dragon Empire Shinobi with extensive training were granted the honor of unlocking theirs. What kind of Shinobi was he then? Whatever she was thinking about was halted when she realized why what he said bugged her so much.

Their wills were battling as much as their words, and actions were. Valentine let loose a sigh of frustration, "Idealists. You people are the worst kind of scum. You truly believe you can make a difference. Disgusting, but sincere. What a loathsome mixture of thoughts."

"You speak like you aren't one yourself." Naruto countered, her cross like pupil seemed to move with rage until he followed up, "You should really question if the price for all of this is worth it."

"I'm going to be straight, people who use others for a reason they claim is the right one, not even caring how much pain they cause, are the kind of monsters I just can't forgive." his calm tone emphasized the deep control over his emotions as he stood tall, hands in his pockets while channeling wind chakra into his knives, "Filia-chan, Samson, get ready, I'm actually serious for a change."

Filia ran over to him, Samson already grinning wildly as tendrils erupted around Filia's head, forming a pair of fists and throwing them forward in a wild hammer blow. Valentine flipped back again when Samson smashed the ground, Filia doing a cartwheel forward to join Naruto's side.

In his head, the blond felt a multitude of furious thoughts create a storm. His body was like the sea, a calm soothing landscape, but inside he was boiling. Valentine merely gave a soft sigh, then snapped her fingers.

A long and dark growl came from the darkness behind her.

"Painwheel, this is a direct order. Help me fight these two or else." Something about what she said just then, and the answering snarl made Naruto's heart freeze solid.

"You…did that to a little girl?" he asked while Filia's eyes teared up looking at nothing yet focusing on the girl that was Painwheel, if she could even be called a person anymore.

Two red eyes stared at the detective and schoolgirl behind an old leathery mask with a stitched cross. Even the lips had been stitched, but they could see her moving her mouth with difficulty. Black hair kept in place with a skull pin and nails, while two bangs framed Painwheel's face. Her legs and arms were exposed by a white, dirty gown which also revealed her back, showing black veins, nails stuck to her thighs and shoulders, and her weapon.

Strapped to her back by a tendril that looked like a moving spinal cord was a pinwheel. The problem was that the blades were made of steel, and were really, really sharp. She was hunched, not as if though she moved like she had no problem due to her weapon's weight, but because of whatever her body had gone through. Her limbs twitched and spasmed, like they were desperate to claw something. And yet, seeing her eyes behind that mask stitched to her face, both Naruto and Filia felt just… sadness.

"It wasn't by my hand…completely." The nurse said, "You know what the Skull Heart is, right? Well, to get it you need drastic measures."

Naruto gripped his knuckle dusters so tight he was about to bleed, "And you think that justifies getting some stupid skull?" he asked coldly, yet still looking calm and collected.

Surprisingly, the nurse shook her head, "Nothing in this city could ever justify that thing existing. If you aren't cruel enough, you don't deserve to deal with that cursed artifact. Now, though, it's time to see who has what it takes to reach it."

"Let me be straight again." Naruto said again, looking at the sadistic nurse in the eye, "If I hate someone, it's people who use others for selfish reasons… But I hate even more those who think they can do that without consequences. I don't care who you are, lady, I'm going to judge you here and now."

Such a calm voice hiding deep hatred made shivers run up and down the kunoichi's spine, "If I sicken you or not doesn't matter, what does is whether you and that girl can really stand for yourselves." The woman said while she took a stance.

Naruto in response lowered his head, the wind muttering low and soft around him. "Stand for myself? Heh. Lady, I am standing for these two girls."

His words were soft spoken but gained a raising menace as a foul air whispered cruel words to his ears, "What is this feeling...?" she asked, feeling herself shiver. Naruto heaved a great sigh, the air seeming to do the same, at long last, he was waking up.

"Good show, lady. You went and did what you shouldn't: you angered me. You people, doing these things so cruelly to a little girl, it disgusts me. Congrats, you did the impossible. You woke up the sleeping giant. Now, let a great wind topple you." Naruto said warningly, rising his eyes slowly to face the two before him. The shadows fled from him as for a brief albeit transient second, the air itself seemed to take a baited breath.

Deep inside of Naruto's mind, one massive red eye creaked open, a fanged mouth chuckling to itself, "**At long last… you use my power again… partner… take it, and awaken from your sleep…**"

A black wind howled, dust and gravel spun around Naruto as he exhaled. A visible aura overtook him while his hair seemed to flow wildly. He bit his lollipop in half, the crunching of the candy became easier as his molars warped into viciously sharp fangs. His whiskers turned pitch black and grew jagged when the wind became heavy and oppressive, howling like a wild beast. The nurse choked for half a second due to her head feeling light, like she was at a high altitude.

Naruto had changed completely, his coat flowing out akin to a cape, a red aura coated his body, and the wind itself wrapped around his arms in a series of spinning-rings, similar to blood red cyclones rotating about his arms. To finish off the mounting horror all parties felt, Naruto snapped his eyes open, revealing pure blood red iris with slit pupils. The eyes of a true demon.

"I haven't used this power in a long time. For people like you, I want you to understand the Skull Heart is hardly the worst thing out there..."

She stepped back cautiously. In that moment he had already reached her, his fist had already shot forward and impacted her gut, due to her motion he didn't complete the strike he had wanted, but she felt what'd have happened had he did, as the wind pressure had formed an outline of his fist over it. The nurse ninja cursed, if she hadn't jumped back at the last second, he'd have spilled her guts on the pavement. As it was, he left a hole across her uniform with a heavy bruise over her stomach.

"I actually…felt that…Painwheel!" the nurse commanded with a gasp.

The girl next to her roared loud enough to deafen their ear-drums, and ran straight at Naruto. Her massive blade wrenched over and was met by Naruto's fists both meeting her 'wheel' in midair. The detective held his ground with pure strength even as the ground itself shattered below him. Cracks splintering around the area where they had clashed, pushing forward he kept going, moving Painwheel back from his person.

The blue haired woman rammed a blood vial into her leg, groaning as she felt her wound heal up while the chemically enhanced blood restored her to max in a few seconds time. During that time Filia walked towards her seriously.

"I'm not normally this angry, and even Mr. Detective got scary now that he's furious, but he's mad because you hurt that girl so much…" the schoolgirl's eyes no longer had that clueless look to them, "So I can't say I'm really scared of him, because you're someone I can't forgive! What you did to that girl was monstrous! Samson! Please, lend me your strength!"

Filia clenched her fists tightly before she darted straight towards Valentine. Samson shot out like a spear with two sharp tendrils, each of which Valentine deflected with her bone saw. The weapon held strong as Samson pushed against her.

"A little girl trying so desperately to fight against a stronger opponent, the sheer futility of your efforts reminds me of my own youth to be honest!" Valentine mused with a nasty leer as she spin-kicked Filia on the face or would have had Samson's tendril not caught her leg.

The girl herself had her back face the nurse, "Funny thing is, she trusts me to watch her back. And I never mess up watching over my partners if I can help it!" The parasite said with a savage grin before his tendrils shot forward to try and impale her.

A barrage of drill-shaped shots forced Valentine to step back with each stabbing motion. She was a ninja first and foremost and lamented the fact she couldn't tank heavy hits from a parasite that wanted to beat her ass like a pair of bongos. Eventually, she would have to go on the offense. With a nasty smile she threw a barrage of scalpels at Filia. The blades were sharper than diamonds, forcing Filia to dodge herself.

Responding via a flurry of strikes, her bone saw was blocked repeatedly by a cursing Samson. His tendrils crossed to prevent Filia from being hurt behind him. Both were surprised when Filia leaned back suddenly, the motion allowing Samson to uppercut the busty nurse quickly, sending the ninja flying backwards. She landed on her hands and flipped forward off them. Her body whizzed through the air along with her blade which she used to send the schoolgirl falling onto her back.

Both fighters turned when they felt rather than heard two beasts fighting each other. Red wind sent Painwheel flying back, cuts ripping open over her arms and legs then instantly sealing shut before a single drop of blood could be spilled. The twisted girl screamed at him in wrathful agony only to be blindsided by an even bigger monster. Behind Naruto's back a long red tail was already forming out of red corruptive chakra. The limb seemed to bubble like churning butter.

"It's almost like I can taste your rage. What did they do to you, kiddo?" The foxy man in front of her asked while trying to keep as much control as he could to avoid truly letting loose. His own rage was boiling over and corroding the ground, warping it and melting it into steaming bubbles.

The girl-turned-monster responded with a scream of frustration that made him clench his teeth, sucking in air through them due to the discordant volume, Filia clapped her hands over her ears, Valentine closing her eye with a pained grimace, whither it was from guilt or discomfort, it was impossible to tell. Then Painwheel violently swung the massive blade on her back. Each scything blow rent the air like a cyclone, creating tremors of pure force that rippled across the streets. Naruto ducked, side-stepped, and even danced around the strikes with cool, simple swing moves and his hands ready for a clean, direct hit.

However, he sensed that the girl was still alive in there. What he was seeing was pain and wrath consuming a once innocent kid. Thus, with a heavy heart, he dashed forward and forced a knee into her gut.

"**Die!**" the girl screamed, grabbing his leg.

Pain shot through his limb when the girl's limbs sprouted sharp steel nails, digging into his body and scratching the skin, peeling it and ruining his pants. He faced down with a furious Painwheel, who while being hit didn't show any signs of slowing down. Her unstoppable wrath fueled her to move forward. It was a terrifying sight to a normal person for sure, but to him it was just sad.

"Wake up!" was his rebuttal as he reared back his head and rammed his forehead on hers with a hard head-butt. Painwheel gave a pained yelp as she staggered back, though with her nails still in his flesh she made a deep gash in his leg.

Off to the side, the nurse had taken some needed distance to observe the fight, and her eye widened when seeing the skin Painwheel ripped off start to grow back. Soon the detective's body was coated with scar tissue, showing the pain that the masked girl had inflicted. While the mark wouldn't leave, he would certainly survive it.

But Painwheel couldn't control herself, "Stop it!"One hand tried in vain to impale him, punching into his chest until he gripped it tightly.

The blond grabbed her into a hug, his aura enveloping them like a warm blanket.

"Stop it. Stop. Just… Stop. This isn't you. All this pain and rage… It'll hurt you and your parents!"He held her even tighter, Carol's struggling died down for a second while bloody tears poured down her face.

Under her circumstances, Painwheel replied in a fitting way, grabbing her head and scratching at her mask madly to rip it off while muttering, "M-Mom... Dad... Mmmmom... D-d-dad! Mom, dad!"

Filia paused in her fighting, Samson muttering aloud to himself in wonder, "The private dick's actually calming that kid down…" the ponytailed bluenette on the other hand bit her mask in utter frustration at the sight of Painwheel seeming to quiet down.

She felt rather than heard her boss' rage, the demonic aura that Naruto possessed had a secondary side effect. It was affecting the control he had over Painwheel, outright disturbing the wave-length to a point that Naruto himself was a canceler. Half of why she was calming down was simply because Naruto's presence was blocking his influence and attempts to increase her rage to keep her as a mindless monster.

"Don't forget about me!" in a moment of inspiration, Filia used Samson's help to propel herself at the nurse while she was distracted, socking her in the face with her own fist.

The woman stumbled back with a sneer, "You little-"

"Valentine!" a voice roared inside her mind, "Stop playing with that kid and stop that dumb cliché of a detective!"

The nurse, Valentine, ground her surgeon mask against her teeth as she unsheathed her bone-saw, "It is a shame, I would have liked to make this last Detectve!" Filia tried to hit her again, but the kunoichi was gone after throwing a smoke bomb on the ground.

Naruto clenched his jaw when Valentine appeared, blade ready to strike both him and Painwheel if needed. Without thinking, just acting on instinct, the detective turned his back around to the nurse. He was mentally ready for when she cut his flesh, but the girl would be fine even in the worst-case scenario.

However, there was some good luck, "Think you can get away?!" Samson roared, stopping Valentine with two tendrils on her ankles.

The nurse gasped as her face met the ground, and she turned to glare at Filia and her parasitic friend, "I just didn't punch you!" the girl said, tempted to pose like a comic book character.

There was a loud scream and the sound of knees hitting the ground. Valentine had cut Naruto and cut him deep. Thankfully the damage was easy to heal from. Naruto fell and panted hard as his flesh healed, his aura returning to his body. However, there was a proud smile on his face. Painwheel seemed to recollect who she used to be. With a weak, shaky hand, the girl grabbed her mask and, to Naruto and Filia's shock, finally ripped it off without showing a sign of pain.

"Carol!?" the two gasped at the once adorable face of an innocent girl covered in stitching scars.

She briefly ignored them, "V-Vale… Valentine." She growled towards the nurse, baring her teeth.

"You really soured my mood, Detective!" the nurse shouted as she pulled out a pellet from her large cleavage, throwing it at the ground. Filia covered her eyes, crying at the blinding light that hit her and even Samson. Naruto jumped and held Carol tightly while the colors in his eyes started to fade. Valentine was gone, but Carol was not.

The girl panted quietly as she held her face tightly, the agony of what she went through and was still feeling felt like they were crushing her brain. Her head still had to settle to the aftereffects still pounding through her mind. Naruto let go of her but kept close by the girl as she breathed in huge gulps of air. Her eyes undulated rapidly as focus returned to them.

"Who….? Who…? Why? Did... you… do this f-for me?" Carol asked the man with understandable suspicion. Considering what she went through and all the pain she had suffered at the hands of madmen - plus the still burning agony she was experiencing - made it hard for her to trust him without cause.

"I just wanted to." He retorted and unwrapped a lollipop, grinning at the finally found girl.

He handed the sucker to Carol, who sniffed it suspiciously before she bit into it. Her eyes widened in pleasure. In a flurry of chewing, she crunched the hard candy rapidly then spat out the stick. The flavor was an utterly delicious strawberry.

Picking himself up, the detective nodded at Filia, who nodded back and walked over towards Carol. The red-eyed girl looked at her closely. Despite the haze of pain, the blinding rage she kept at bay barely, and her own disjointed memories, she still recognized the girl who had an immensely guilty expression.

"Carol I-"

"Filia… you helped that man find and save me…? Why?"

Gulping slowly, Filia said with tears beading in her eyes, "Because I wanted to be your friend... I don't want you to suffer anymore or-"

What Carol did next surprised her and Samson. It made Naruto smile genuinely. She hugged the parasite user tightly, her massive blade hanging loosely on the ground.

"You didn't… you didn't treat me that badly… you… ignored me, but… You at least tried to reach out throu… through your own arro... arrogance."

Carol's speech was somewhat hampered, and she seemed to take long pauses as she searched for a meaningful word, but her words brought new tears to Filia's eyes.

"Oh Carol!" Filia's crying brought tears to Carol's eyes, the two embraced tightly while Naruto watched silently, not wanting to interrupt their moment.

"Job's worth moments like this." Naruto whispered to the silent parasite who despite himself was getting a little misty eyed.

"Ugh, you had to ruin the moment with a sappy line." The parasite said, thinking if blaming his watered eyes on shampoo would work to fool the man.

"Anyway, I bet you girls… and hair need to rest." He got a side glare from the parasite but none of them decided to comment on the bad joke, "It's been a long night… and I need a change of clothes."

X-X-X-X-X

Inside a dark church built for three deities, Valentine faced a nun with the symbol of the church and her eyes shut. The woman had a sinfully curvaceous figure, yet the way she moved was almost inhumane. The grace she had combined with an eerie aura around her made the nurse tense.

"I see you have bad news." The woman said with a placid look on her face.

Valentine nodded, "That man that appeared out of nowhere… I'm wondering whether those who made the Skull Heart had a hand on bringing him here or not."

"It's by their will that times flows as it does. Whatever happens is a game of luck. We, however, have to play as the house." The nun said with a somber smile, "I do believe the good detective has been abusing his luck. Perhaps we should pair him with a competent player."

Valentine had been pondering where she hid her stash of dark chocolate as the nun spoke, but something hit her at the tone the nun used at the last moment. That tone, so venomous, so sickeningly angry, it could only mean one person.

"She is performing as usual, Double." The kunoichi informed, "I shall contact the doctor and tell him his ideal subject had flaws. You, on the other hand, I'd recommend you stick close to the man. Someone like him is bound to attract trouble whether he wants to or not."

The nun smiled darkly, showing pure red eyes, "Maybe he can be swayed with a little job."

Valentine rubbed one arm, staring at Double as the fleshy being melted into the darkness of the Church.

Leaning back, she hefted a sigh out, shaking her blue head of hair.

"Be careful Mr. 'Detective.' You've attracted some nasty players in your little game." She muttered to herself behind her mask.

X-x-X-x-X-x

"So, this is your pad Private Dick? Surprised to see it's actually kinda clean." Samson commented snidely as the quartet found their way into Naruto's office apartment.

He took them on a quick detour to pay off his rent for the month before they made it inside. Naruto approached his closet as he took off his clothes. Filia tried out his surprisingly comfy office armchair while Carol sat on a beanbag, namely one he had laying around that looked like a giant cartoonish frog.

"You can stay at my pad until we figure out how to get rid of whatever that psycho nurse put on her." he tossed the tattered pants into a garbage can, "I'll call a few contacts, one of them is a former cop. Might know something about this… He's incredible with kids, probably knows what to do for Carol. Maybe I can bring you both to him… Peachy would like that. Or I could ask Doctor Avian for help, if the good doctor's in. Might get lucky, might not. We'll see, won't we?"

After slipping into a duplicate of his outfit, he felt at ease. He was glad they smelled clean at least. With a sigh, he threw his hat at his desk before sitting down on his couch which he used as a bed. Reaching out for his phone, the blond begun ringing up a number he had memorized completely. The phone rang for a few moments and Naruto waited for it to pick up.

Carol seemed content to close her eyes and rest while Filia inspected his desk drawers. She found tons of scrolls, case files, brass knuckles of all shapes and sizes - she didn't even know some came with knife blades over the knuckles that weren't detachable -, and several boxes full of what else but lollipops. There was also a large collection of swing records on a drawer with a few posters on them too.

Samson for his part inspected a few drawers with posters of some of the city's best dames, one of Cerebella in a bikini and another of none other than Eliza posing in only a towel. The parasite had to admit he'd probably drink with the detective, but at the time being he had to keep him safe by concealing the posters from Filia's innocent eyes.

Finally, a cocky female voice answered aloud, "Howdy unlucky stooge, ya called 1-800-Cartoons-kick-butt. I have no idea how the hell ya got this number but we know where ya live and we'll-"

Naruto chuckled to the speaker, "Hey Peachy, Big Band around? I wanted to speak to him a bit…but I guess you'll do better than he would."

Split screen images appeared, one of him relaxing on his couch, the other was of an orange haired girl in a fancy top hat with black void eye sockets smoking a cigar in an armchair of her own. Her outfit, consisting of a very conservative black puffy dress with a red bow on her preteen chest, fit her childish attitude.

However, her smile shone not because she had well-brushed pearly white teeth, but because she had a bear trap for a set of jaws. Her arms were noodle-like artificial appendages with feather-like eyes sticking out, each with a red iris. It came as no surprise why her nickname was Peacock, or Peachy for the detective.

"Naruto! Ya private Dicktective, ya haven't called in ages! I almost thought ya lost your taste in beauty an' forgot about me or something. Lemme guess, ya already rot dat tiny brain of yers listening to dat cruddy swing all the time? Also, before I forget to ask, ya still without a TV because yer too cheap to buy anything other than records for dat lame ass gramophone ya got?"

She breathed out a cloud of smoke that Naruto waved away with a grimace.

"Come on, leave my poor record player out of this, Peachy." He said with a small, playful smile, wondering how she managed to get the smoke to come out of his phone's speaker before remembering her savior and one of his oldest clients designed her to be that way.

"I swear, even some of my classics make fun of how old those things are." The redhead said before taking a deep drag from her large cigar, "So… What's it dis time, Dick Fishcake? Wanna hang 'round with the old one-man band or do ya want me to tag in for some town-painting stuff?"

He pulled his face away from the phone as another cloud of smoke escaped it before answering, **"**Just a few questions. The doctor in?"

Peachy blew out a cloud of smoke in response, "Yup. Gramps is in the lab fer once."

"Tomorrow's a Saturday, right?" Naruto asked again, Peacock scratching her side and turning a lazy stare towards a calendar, "Yup. Looks 'bout right. Doc takes those days off."

"Then…my final question. The doc still got free tomorrow afternoon, right?"

The girl's eyes narrowed, "How bad is it?" her tone was serious.

"I'd have to ask the doc to know." He answered truthfully, still calm, but serious, "I need an appointment. Perhaps we can play around the golf club to catch up and just fool around."

"Detective, I'm still young an' innocent! How dare ya try to flirt with dis young maiden's innocent heart?!" she said with a cackle.

"Never change, Patricia." He replied with a fond smile.

She sighed, "Aight, come 'round tomorrow an' bring somethin' fer lunch. Doc won't let anyone in without a proper greeting, so show manners an' stuff. Oh, an' bring some of those awesome dango thingies, I got a killer sweet tooth dat only dey can fix, got me?"

"Of course, Peachy, see you very soon with the one who needs the doc's help." The two hung up shortly, Naruto yawning loudly to himself and wiping his eyes tiredly.

"What a night… Filia, Carol, you two can sleep on the couch, I'll sleep in my chair. Tomorrow you two take a bath while I go shopping, talk with a friend, and get us some food." He yawned to the young girls before getting off his couch to adjust it, turning it into a small double-bed, or at least it was small for him since he was extremely tall.

Carol flopped onto the bed, her face pressed against the soft pillows as she sawed logs without even taking a moment to toss and turn. Filia looked concerned as she got off the chair and walked over to the bed. Naruto fell into his chair with his coat flipped around on his body like a blanket and his head resting against the back of the seat.

"Are you sure Mr. Detective?" She asked him as Samson grabbed a blanket, pulling it over her and Carol.

"Sure, get some sleep too, tomorrow's a big day, and I want you to be at your best. I'll be doing the same." He yawned out, his eyes already closed and his breathing steady.

"Just go to sleep kid. Private Dick over there is right at least twice a day…" Samson yawned before he settled down himself.

Filia rubbed her eyes tiredly, then fell asleep shortly after.

For the time being, all four were at ease, which was rare for them.

X-x-x-X-x


	4. I'm Beginning To See The Light

Swinging Detective chapter 4.

No thoughts or commentary to be had. We've already said what we had to.

I do not own Naruto which is owned by Masashi Kishimoto (unfortunately), Skullgirls by Lab Zero Games, or any jazz songs, they're all owned by their respective owners.

**Bold for demon speech, Painwheel speech, or similar characters talking.**

_**Bold and Italic for attack names.**_

_Italic for thoughts and flashbacks_

Recommended listening for this chapter.

John Coltrane: Equinox.

Charles Mingus: Moanin'.

Turnabout Jazz: The Fragrance of Dark Coffee.

**X-X-X-X-X**

Filia woke up the next morning soon after Naruto had finished with his personal business, the detective traveling home as fast as he could, Samson in a mess around her hair, her locks hanging over her face, and her school uniform ruffled.

"Huh… Mr. Detective must be out…" she said when noticing his absence. She was in a bleary haze and just barely managed to stumble into the bathroom after throwing off her outfit.

Comprised of a toilet, a cabinet filled with toothpaste and other toiletries, and a combination shower-stall bathtub, Filia flopped into the tub like a dying fish. Her hands weakly reached up and twisted the knobs before a spray of cold water washed over her face and naked form. Samson gave wet burbling noises, half-way between muffled out mumbles and grunts as the cold water woke them both up. After cleaning herself, Filia stumbled out of the bath tiredly, pulling on her underwear and school blouse. The lovably plump girl gave a massive yawn as she rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"God dammit… What blazing time is it…?" Samson let loose a loud yawn as his tongue flopped out.

The parasite grumbled out as they noted Carol was still out like a light, snoring cutely on the bed. There was a trail of saliva that went down to her right hand, which she used as a pillow while her other arm held the pillow, she had used for sleep like a Teddy bear.

It nearly made Filia go 'Aw' like any girl her age. A sudden pounding at the door racked painful arrows through Filia's skull, stopping the previous train of thought. She clenched her teeth due to the headache that formed thanks to the wake-up knock from hell.

Samson roared out angrily, "WHO THE HELL IS IT!?" His tendrils slammed the door open while Filia looked annoyed due to a state of semi-alertness.

"Uh…" A green-haired woman looked down at the half-naked school girl in front of her who just yawned tiredly in her face.

Cerebella knew where Naruto lived and behind her were a group of Medici thugs came to "talk him up" for his actions in the casino before. To see a girl that had yet to pull on her skirt in the middle of his doorway gave all the wrong impressions to her, if the blush on her dark-skinned face was any indication. The thugs however were put on Samson's black list for their stares.

"Who are you?" Filia asked bluntly.

Cerebella scratched her cheek while a sweat-drop rolled down the back of her head at the girl's state of undress, Vice Versa sweating too, "Uh... You wouldn't happen to know of an obnoxious gambler, would you?"

Filia yawned back at her, rubbing her eyes tiredly then scratching her tummy with a shrug, "Don't know, don't care, too early, come back later." With that she slammed the door in Cerebella's face, then they heard an angry male voice who had way too deep a tone to be the one from before growling out.

"WHERE IS BREAKFAST AND COFFEE!? I'M STARVING!" Cerebella looked awkward as did the goon squad behind her when crashes of pots, pans, and a shattering of glass was heard inside.

Ricardo whispered to the increasingly disturbed Cerebella as they heard louder screaming, female this time, "Should we uh… just tell the boss that a domestic couple moved into the detective's old apartment after he vacated it…?" He winced when he heard a violent scream echo out with the sounds of the walls being pounded.

Cerebella backed away slowly herself as they felt the ground rumble from things being thrown inside the apartment, "…Y-Yeah. That might be better… I mean we're ready to fight but this is a little too…"

She heard a body being slammed against the wall then the sounds of someone clawing viciously at something. She had to restrain her urge to break down the door to stop this from happening.

"It's not our problem… let's just walk away." Said another goon.

It killed her inside to oblige to that, but they didn't have business regardless with this sort of thing. It'd sort itself out eventually. She left with her crew, all of them feeling rather disturbed and in her case guilty for not doing a thing.

"GRAB HER BEFORE SHE EATS EVERYTHING! THAT'S MY FOOD, WOMAN! SOMEONE CHAIN HER DOWN!"

Inside of the apartment while the mafia muscle had been outside, things were chaotic. That put it mildly. It all started after Carol had snapped awake, her red eyes rolled around violently before she screamed loudly in a state of blinding fury and rage due to being woken up suddenly. She was not a morning person even before she became an immensely powerful killing machine.

"**GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGAHAHHHHHHH!**"

Her blade slammed against the ground and violently broke Naruto's cupboard. Glass shattered around her, plates broke, and the small apartment was close to being trashed. Naruto leaped through the open window, a bag of groceries in his hand along with some fresh milk.

"Hey guys what's happenin- wow!" He was gob smacked at the sight of Samson pinning the furious Carol against the floor as she clawed against his table when he set down his food.

The hungry and cranky girl turned his table into splinters with Samson putting all his effort to stop her from eating the groceries raw while Filia yawned tiredly, her red eyes close to drooping shut again. Carol stopped screaming when she noticed him being back, and thankfully also stopped breaking his stuff.

"GRAB HER BEFORE SHE EATS EVERYTHING! THAT'S MY FOOD, WOMAN! SOMEONE CHAIN HER DOWN!" Samson kept her in place while the detective took in the sight of his half-ruined home with an awkward grin.

"Okay I got it, none of you are morning people… I'll cook us breakfast then. Get Carol washed up please." He nodded slowly before he got around to cooking. "You guys owe me a new kitchen, though."

It took a little bit of time to get Carol cleaned up like he had requested, mainly since Carol hated cold water and seemed averse to being washed in anything other than so hot it was blistering liquid. Thankfully, Naruto had gotten the heating bill paid earlier in the month so the bath quickly warmed up which in turn meant Carol stopped childishly trying to pull away from Filia and Samson so she could get clean.

Naruto could only look amused when the trio stepped back into the main apartment room. Filia's clothes were soaking wet, Carol shook her head like a wet dog, and Samson spat out a bar of soap from his mouth with an annoyed growl. The blond quickly followed through on his promised breakfast. A pot of coffee was brewed up quickly, and a huge plate of pancakes, eggs, and bacon to go with it.

Filia and Samson had a pair of plates to themselves, and Carol had her own stack of pancakes which she was already drooling over due to their rich scent. Naruto had done her a favor and baked chocolate chips into them, and as she took a bite of them, tears came to her eyes from the sheer deliciousness.

He gave a soft grin at how quickly she vacuumed up his pancakes. The delicious food disappeared into her gullet faster than he could suck down ramen broth. Filia on the other hand ate her food with a little more class, slowly cutting into the eggs and bacon before eating them with a noise of delight. Samson dumped his eggs and bacon into his mouth, chewed, swallowed, belched, and then began drinking a cup of coffee with one tendril while another held the newspaper up so he could read it.

The blond private dick on the other hand was eating his own pile of eggs and pancakes, his coffee black, just the way he loved it. He had just read a novel from another PI, an odd foreign man by the name of Shotaro who tried really hard to be hardboiled. Ever since reading how a hardboiled man drank his coffee blacker than a starless night and bitter and hot as Hell itself, he wanted to enjoy it.

"Told you I could cook up a decent plate of food, breakfast is about the only thing I can make easy enough for other people." He admitted with an amused chuckle.

After finishing her meal, Carol chugged down a class of orange juice he made especially for her, her hands gripping it tightly like a pair of claws.

"You're a decent cook, I'll give you that at the very least, private dick. It hit the spot at least, huh kid?" Samson cleaned his jagged teeth with a tooth-pick, looking satisfied while Filia finished her meal.

"Yeah! It's really good. So, where are we going today, Mr. Detective?" Filia pulled on her skirt, socks, and shoes after Naruto helped Carol into a spare raincoat he had laying around, her features hidden behind it perfectly save for the massive blade which he just had to put a bag over and hope for the best.

"A friend's place. I said as much yesterday but the call I made was to a very special friend of mine, she's a bit, well, toothy is a good word to call her. But she's good at heart despite her less than normal tendencies." He explained to Filia as he led them out the door, locking it behind him before he strolled right out of the apartment building.

X-X-X-X-X

It would seem odd in any other city for a grown man taller than most of the citizens around him, a school girl wearing a cute hat, and a girl clad in a concealing rain coat with a bag trailing behind her to be together. But it was New Meridian, odd things happened so many times a day they became practically background scenery for a good chunk of the populace who went about their business without a sweat.

Didn't help matters that a light rain broke out over the dismal skies, rain drops falling across the windows and dripping down in thin trails, the autumns of New Meridian always brought the cold rains along with them.

It wasn't for the first time that Filia was grateful for this sort of thing being so common, and she found their walk through the city uneventful for the most part. Before he took them to where they were going, he made a very brief pit-stop at a small pastry shop he knew, it was close to the very edge of town itself, and he knew about it before anyone else did.

It was a specialty shop, catering exclusively to foreign sweets that came from out of the Canopy Kingdom itself. He, Cerebella, and that Feng girl she was friends with became regular customers. And the latter knew about it because she had accompanied Cerebella when the two followed Naruto after a particularly big win he scored in the casino.

Suffice to say, Feng loved the place, and Cerebella admitted it did have a really good selection of pastries. She spent several breaks sampling the sweets with Naruto when she wasn't mad at him that day.

Picking up the dango balls like he promised Patricia, the blond man quickly got Carol and Filia back on track as he led them onwards while sharing some pastries that he had gotten for himself with them.

Samson chewed on a huge block of sweetened honey-soaked bread. Filia herself happily munched on a cinnamon bun. And Carol was tearing into a jelly-filled donut with abandon. Getting the sweet sticky stuff all over her face. Her friends laughed at her confused jam-smeared expression.

Naruto led them down winding paths, dark alleyway corners, and at least one trip through a warehouse before they found themselves at a large building that looked so much like a secret laboratory Samson had to voice his cynical opinion of the place.

"Really? As in, really? You're taking us to a mad scientist lair? That's your big scheme? This is how you'll save the girl at our side, with science? This place couldn't be any cornier unless we saw a… a… what?"

Samson snidely commented until the door to the place was kicked open. A girl marched out to a cheery orchestra straight out of classic cartoons. Held in her hand was an honest to god tap dancing cane, while she herself held it in cartoonish gloves. Her massive steel bear trap grin grew wilder as she danced out with a "Cha-cha-cha~" escaping her lips.

Behind her danced out an assortment of walking weights and bombs, a shark like walking anvil, and a host of other things besides. Samson had his jaw drop as the girl rolled her top-hat down her arm, held it on one hand, and then bowed to them while holding it over her breast. Her face looked up at the group with a gigantic grin spreading her cheeks that showed her well-polished bear-trap for teeth.

"Peacock at yer service! Nice to meetcha all, so yer da folks da private dicktective wanted Doc Birdbrain to look at, issat right there Naru?" she asked him with a cackle, her hat put back onto her head while she examined Filia and Carol curiously.

"Pretty much, Peachy." The man said, mimicking her pose with his trilby, "I'd like for ya to keep 'em safe too, if ya don't mind." He imitated her speech for the heck of it, grinning at her.

"We just want to get Carol some help." Filia stuck close to him. Mostly out of fear of the unusual looking Peacock giving her a toothy leer.

"I don't want to leave his s-side. 'She' comes back if I do." Carol said, hugging his other side with a suspicious stare at Peacock.

In response, he scratched the side of his cheek in embarrassment as the cute girl refused to leave him. Despite his line of work, he wanted to look out for the two girls, but knew that scum in the streets never played nice and hated to lose. Yet Filia had made it clear she felt safest with him. Carol as well. Thus, he was at a quandary. Ultimately, he just shrugged and let her and Carol have their way.

"Sorry to impose but getting Carol-chan back to normal is non-negotiable." He said and poked the girl's cheek to make her let go of him. She swatted at him with a nail covered hand.

Peacock let loose a long whistle while she leaned closer to get a better look at the girl. "Well dat's a big pile o' crap an' make no mistake. Whoever did dis was pretty much one sick puppy lemme tell ya." She spun about and flipped her cane around, leading the trio inside with a nod.

"I've got more than a few ideas what they must have thought." Naruto said to himself. Whoever Valentine worked for had been watching Carol closely to make sure she worked as a living weapon.

"Dat yer best guess? Anyways, where's da big walking orchestra when ya need 'im?" Peacock grumbled before Naruto walked past her, her black cartoonish eye-sockets went wide with joy when she saw a tall man walk towards Naruto.

The man was a giant by the entire meaning of the word. With an extremely bulky body hidden behind a massive trench coat he was intimidating. He had a classic fedora worn over his head and most of his face in shadows. What was visible of his face showed that he had dark skin and wore a weird breathing mask.

"Good day, Big Band, hope we're not being a bother." Naruto said warmly if still lazily as he slammed his fist against the man's gigantic mechanical one. The arm was a mixture of a science fiction work of art, and a trumpet. The two laughed, Naruto chuckled briefly, the other man let loose a bark of amusement.

"Naruto, you paid us a visit already? I'm surprised Peacock hasn't mugged you yet to fulfill her sweet-tooth cravings."

Big Band was a cyborg made with a huge assortment of combat modified instruments and one of the few friends Naruto had and cherished. It helped that both loved kids, hated the Medici for their own reasons, and enjoyed the sweet sounds a saxophone could make. That and both had a good taste for fedoras.

Peacock swiped the pastry bag from him, holding four dango skewers in front of her, and with a sharp bite she swallowed the entire lot in one go, munching the balls, skewer and all. Spitting out the wood into a pile that resembled her face, she had a pleased look on her face as she patted her stomach.

Ignoring the girl's antics, Naruto tipped his hat up to look at the man, "The detective biz has been busy. That's why I wanted the doc to have a look at this girl."

"Say no more…" said an elderly man walking in, with wise eyes and a body that would make anyone think of a bird.

"Doctor Avian, it's a pleasure to see you're doing fine despite Peachy here." Naruto gave him a respectful nod as the old man had Carol sit down on a surgery chair so he could get a better look at her.

"Hey!" the redhead snapped, but didn't say more when the doctor spoke up.

"This has the markings of that abominable Brain-Drain… I always thought that monstrous man went too far in his work, but this is disgusting for any man of science…" He muttered as he examined Carol's body.

"I know of snakes like him, doc, so please tell me you can do something." Naruto pleaded, looking truly exhausted as if he had seen such a thing many times already.

Avian gave him a determined nod, "I made an oath to help everyone in my reach. I plan to honor it."

The tests that followed painted a grim picture that had Naruto set his lips into a tired frown and Filia to clench her fists in anger. X-rays showed that the nails were practically grafted into her bones and skin. And that wasn't getting started into the truly horrible details of the many drugs pumped into her body.

A bio-chemical process ejected the nails out painfully but still had them connected to her flesh and blood. Her skeletal system itself had outright been painfully altered, with her canines being noticeably sharper than normal, her jaw enhanced, and the weapon attached to her body fused to her spinal column by force.

Her blood itself had been pumped full of the most noxious chemical compounds imaginable to maintain her in a state of violent anger and unhinged psychopathy. Being unable to maintain a cohesive thought without direct control. She hardly clung to her sanity and free will by sheer determination, something that Brain-Drain had no doubt tried to beat out of her.

The drugs circulating her body were a disgusting specialty. Like a non-sentient parasite, they leeched nutrients from her body to keep going around her blood-stream and suppressing her hormones to boot. Which was why she possessed such a starved and emaciated appearance. She was practically eating for two with no benefit whatsoever. The only reason she was even still normal was because Naruto's presence acted as a natural canceler for the drugs and the mental control system.

As another nasty addition to her body, the nail-covered bun on her head was kept in place by a disturbing primary rod that pierced straight through her skull. Lightly touching the part of her brain that regulated her emotions, the limbic system namely. Because of it, she was extremely sensitive to telepathic control or manipulation, which was why she had been in a beastly state of hyper-aggression and reverted violently when Naruto was away from her.

To compound all this nasty work, the nails themselves originated from a synthetic parasite by the name of Gae Bolga, which was part of what the drugs themselves were supplying nutrients to. Her body suffered every single time she used them with horrific injuries and pain hardly ever recovered when she fought.

Of course, the real kicker was the Skullgirl blood that flowed through her veins. The swell contaminated and distorted her system, turned her into more of a monster than she should be. Something that sickened Naruto as he knew full-well the price of having demon blood flow through one's veins. It was agonizing to think a young girl was injected with the gut-wrenching mixture.

In short, everything about Painwheel was horrific and an example of mad science gone amok. Doctor Avian told Naruto all of this with an expression of grim seriousness. The blond detective took off his hat and ruffled his hair with a tired grimace.

"Is there anything we can do to help her?" He had to ask the question.

Everything he heard left him drained. He heard his heart pound and worry beyond measure that the answer would be no. He had never prayed to a god before but he swore he'd stop by that Trinity church to donate when he heard the opposite of his fears.

The doctor nodded slowly. "It's… a difficult procedure for sure, but it's doable and well within the realm of possibility to surgically remove the nails, the synthetic parasite Gae Bolga, the drugs, and the more disturbing alterations to her body… But the blade, this Buer Drive, will not be able to be removed without damaging her ability to function. She'll have to live with that and the enhanced treatment done to her muscular system as well as her skeletal system upgrades. But she will be able to live life as a slightly disfigured, but otherwise kind girl as she did before."

Doctor Avian's words caused his heart to lighten due to the news. "You think you can deal with that Carol-chan? You won't be Painwheel, but you'll still have some of her in you." The blond asked the girl.

Carol looked up seriously at him and nodded, her voice coming out in a soft whisper while she gripped his hand tightly, "I can… I want this. I really want this… I want to see my mom and dad again… I want to go home. I want to… make new friends, and spend time with you, Filia, and Samson… I want to go to school and learn new things again and meet a good teacher too! So, I'll do this surgery, I want my life back, and I want to pay back Brain Drain and Valentine for stealing it from me."

Naruto smiled softly, "You heard her doc, let's not waste time and get her patched up."

Carol was already laying back while Doctor Avian begun getting ready. Once he was set and Carol had some proper anesthesia, the man started surgically operating on her after she was put under the mask. Filia and Naruto watched anxiously as the doctor worked long into the day, never taking a break or stopping. Occasionally, Peacock would stop by to check up on the two bystanders. Currently, Filia took a brief nap and leaned against Naruto's side while he tapped his foot.

When the sun was setting down and evening was approaching, Doctor Avian finally stepped out of the operating room, sweat pouring down the old man's face. "Ya look like ya finally worked out, doc." Peacock said with a smirk, but had a couple of celebration cigars ready.

The man ignored her, already used to her antics, "She'll be waking up soon, thankfully there were no complications whatsoever with the operation. Your presence being close by kept that vile man from interfering, and I personally attached a cybernetic seal in place of the nail. She'll never have to worry about his influence affecting her judgment again."

Before they could celebrate, Naruto gave the doctor a tired, patient smile, "Well, there's just one more thing that's been bothering me. I met a weird woman who was ordering around Carol. Blue hair, cross-shaped pupils, revealing nurse outfit. You know of anyone to fit the bill?"

Doctor Avian sat down, giving a great sigh as he steepled his fingers in thought, "If you're talking about who I think you are… Then yes, I do. That is Valentine of the Last Hope. They were a black-ops group and an anti-Skullgirl squad. One of the many measures we took to prevent another from emerging."

Naruto rubbed his chin, thinking of Valentine and how she fought, he pieced some of that together, "So she's the last member of that outfit? What a world, we've got an atoner on our hands. She's working with this Brain-Drain character and they turned Carol into a monster to use her as a weapon."

He summarized, Doctor Avian nodding at him, "You make quick realizations detective."

"It's my job. This case was supposed to be so simple. Now it's gotten bigger than ever and I'm hurtling myself and my partner down into the bottom of wherever it'll lead me." He referred to Filia.

The doctor spread his teeth out in a wide amused grin, "Ah, your partner and not just your charge? Treat her well Detective. Otherwise I think Patricia will make a move."

He shook his head, "Peachy will be just fine. It's just a phase she's going through."

Avian gave him a stare, "That girl likes you a great deal. You're doing things that she always wanted to do. Don't let her down, especially now."

"Yeah, doc, I know. Speaking of Valentine…I want you to get your stuff packed up, leave this lab and wire it up to explode."

Doctor Avian closed his eyes, "You think they'll attack? That Brain-Drain will try to silence us?"

"Right now, me, Big Band and Peachy are the only three things keeping that guy from 'reclaiming' her and killing you to boot. It's time to get out, doc, I don't want you to die to some senseless bullshit."

Avian held a hand to his head, "Everyone. Begin Operation F.R.E.E. I've gained information that has let me know we've outstayed our welcome."

The crackle of a com-channel in his ear responded, a masculine voice replying, "Got it doctor. I'll tell the family to get going, we're packing right now. We'll be gone within the hour. Leduc out."

"Doc. Thanks for everything, I'll take Carol home. Make sure Big Band and Patricia take care of things while you pack up. Where will you go?"

Avian gave him a slight grin, "Why to the home of your employer, of course. Princess Parasoul supports my organization and research, discreetly, but if I throw myself at her mercy, she'll take us in."

After hearing that and giving the good doctor a nod as he walked off, Naruto shook Filia gently awake. Her red eyes slid open in a daze while she let loose a yawn and stretched. The blond private dick tried his best not to pay attention to how her school girl blouse stretched against her more than sizable breasts or how nice it felt when she had been hugging his arm and leaning her head against his shoulder. It had some mixed results, but none too embarrassing.

"She's waking up, so let's go see her." Both slowly walked into the operating room, the lights showing Carol's sleeping face.

She had been removed from the leather dress and shackles. She now wore a patient's gown. Sleepily, she opened her eyes, revealing that the changes done to her body had altered even them. One eye was now a much kinder looking blue, while the other simply had a red iris with none of the black from before.

Her stitching was gone, her face much more pleasant to look at sans the obvious scarring across it. The nails and Gae Bolga itself were currently being incinerated by Peacock wielding a flame-thrower fused with a tommy-gun, her dark brown hair went down her back in a long sheet. Her body was still as thin as ever but it possessed a much smaller number of stitches, while her wheel-blade itself was made into a much more manageable system.

Doctor Avian had added a cybernetic attachment to her body that was almost like a fireman's hose. It allowed her to coil up her blade and wear it on her back when she didn't need it or remove it at will. This system was virtually like a pulley as well, letting her uncoil it just as rapidly as she could deploy it. It even retracted into her skin so it was just barely noticeable beyond being a small nub poking through her back.

In short, she looked like the cute and ordinary girl teenage girl that she truly was. Except for the obvious deadly blade, but it was a good step forward.

"Naruto…? Filia?" She asked them with a sleepy face, her expression smoothing into a bright smile as she saw her friends approach her.

"So… wanna take a look?" Naruto held up a mirror.

She nodded and took it, tears on her eyes when she saw the changes, "I'm… I'm me…! I'm me! Carol!"

She outright sobbed in pure joy. She felt her mind clearer than it had been in ages. Her body felt painful but overall much better than before, and as she grabbed the two into a tight hug, lifting them up with incredible strength, crying all the while, Naruto let loose a good-natured wince.

"Carol-chan, you're… still pretty damn strong…!" He wheezed out while Filia looked like she might pop, her face turning blue before Carol dropped them in embarrassment.

"Right… I'm sorry Naruto, Filia… But I'm me! I'm not her anymore! I'm Carol, not Painwheel!" She said with a bright and earnest smile, tears streaming down her face.

He pulled back and smiled, "I'll let you two girls rest here for a while. Because, one, you two are really tired. Two, I need to call Carol's parents and get them here safely. And three, if that nurse does come to try to get you, I want you two to help everyone here show her some proper manners."

The doctor nodded, "Don't worry about her return, Naruto take care, we shall keep our eyes peeled in case she shows. Peacock would be sad if she didn't get to test some pranks on you. Come back as soon as you're able, you'll want to see most of us off before we meet with the Princess."

"Yeah, ya promised to show me how ta make an imploding wedgie!"

Naruto chuckled, tipping down his hat with a lazy smile as he bowed, "I promise. See you all soon."

X-X-X-X-X

"I violate my oath… to defend…" mumbling an odd tune he had heard and enjoyed, even if it wasn't good old-fashioned jazz, Naruto walked through the streets.

And finally, the private detective made his way to his place. Imagine his surprise when a stunning woman with a body nothing less than godly happened to be at his door. She had long blond hair reaching down to her bubble butt, her eyes shut. He thought she was blind until he noticed the lack of a cane or a dog. A tight black dress that hugged her motherly curves. Everything about her screamed of a mature woman, most likely a mother, yet had allure to it from keeping her body in shape. She could play a femme fatale in any kind of movie easily.

"Are you the… private detective?" she asked with a stone-cold face, almost like that of a marble statue in a church depicting some celestial being.

"I am, but I'm in the middle of something. I'll hear you out when I'm done." He gave a whiff, taking in the scent of a woman but much more. It was like she came out of a meat shop. She didn't look like she'd work behind a counter with a butcher given her dress seemed expensive.

Her closed eyes seemed saddened, "Please, I came here for you alone."

He nodded slowly and decided to change his mind, "I guess my business can wait if you're that intent on seeing me, lady. That, and I can tell you won't quit. I'll get us some coffee if you want." He offered.

The woman bowed her head to him graciously, "Yes please, that would be lovely."

They stepped into his apartment as Naruto quickly brewed up a pot of joe for them. Setting up his record player, he smiled as an upbeat piece played. Fast-paced swing jazz with a heavy drum beat. Just the kind he needed to listen to in order to cheer himself up even more.

"Alright, lady, what's the big deal you want my help with solving?" He easily stepped back into his laidback personality, the swing soothing his mind and body even as he dashed around the apartment, cleaning it up since he had needed to leave the place in a big hurry.

The woman watched him silently as he cleaned, his silence prompting her to realize he was waiting for her to talk, "It's my daughters. They... My sweet, lovely girls... They were murdered by truly the vilest of monsters! I want you to help me bring their murderer to justice!" The woman pleaded with him, her eyes never once opening but actual tears beaded at the corners. Her expression was distorted by grief so genuine it came from nowhere but the true heart.

"Who killed them? Can you tell me where they last were, and who would do something like that?" Naruto was a sucker for a crying lady, so he switched to business mode. He handed her a cup of coffee then sat down opposite to her with a notepad in his hands.

The woman sniffed deeply, tears still pouring from her eyes as she told him in a hushed tone still stricken by grief, "Their names were Aeon and Venus… The kindest, most beautiful, most loving daughters a mother could ever ask for… And that monster, that vile disgusting monster, just killed them! Murdered them in front of me, and then tried to do the same to me! If I… If I hadn't been able to escape, I'd have never been able to find you!"

Something about their names seemed odd to Naruto, he harked back to the phone call he had the previous morning. Despite his head swimming briefly and his vision blurring, almost as if his memory was getting altered by some outside force, a brief flare up of purified kitsune chakra made that influence dissipate in a hurry. All of that had happened in the expanse of a single second, and the woman in front of him was still talking, unaware of what had happened just then and there.

"I know her as Sekhmet, the monstrous blood-hungry abomination! You must believe me, she's a cruel lying fiend! Hiding her true sickening nature behind façade after façade! She's the most horrible thing in this world, make no mistake!"

Naruto found it astonishingly easy to believe what the woman in front of him was telling him. Even if it were all part of a perfected acted scene, this woman truly hated the one she mentioned while mourning her loved ones. And yet, he had to be professional about it.

"Alright, so what do you want me to do? How do you want me to deal with her? I'm not a hitman, I can't just snipe her and be done with it." Despite his question, he had already gotten up after writing down what he had been told, pacing rapidly as he thought up how to investigate the woman.

"I want you to expose her for what she really is, in front of everyone, with all her sins and crimes laid bare, so the world can see how pitch-black and rotten her heart really is." The woman said imploringly, tears pouring from her eyes while her expression grew wrathful. "I want that monster to not be able to hide a second longer like she has done for so long."

She utterly loathed that Sekhmet woman to her very core. The genuine emotions she showed made Naruto clench his jaw tightly.

"Alright…I'll take the case. We can settle my fee after I pin her down. What's your name by the way?" He asked her at last.

The woman sniffled and nodded, "Mrs. Dora Lovelace… My husband's been dead a long time, but I keep his name. Thank you, thank you so much detective…"

"Not a problem, I would do this regardless of if you asked me or not. Here's my number, call me as soon as you can." He handed her his business card, a simple white affair with a spiral pattern on it and his name, address, and number written below.

She placed the card in her pocket, and after thanking him once more, left his apartment.

A dark grin spread on her face as she left, her eyes open to reveal purely red orbs, "I must truly thank meeting you. To think I can deal with her while keeping you busy. Truly, detective, you are one of a kind. It's the first time I have ever been thankful since that filthy parasite took them…"

Back in the apartment, Naruto took off his hat and scratched the back of his head with a sigh, "Well, guess that's my next job… time to close this one up."

His nose twitched despite himself, and he hid a frown. "Still…odd smell for a lady of her beauty. Like rotting meat."

He dialed the number for Carol's parents and told them of the good news. Following that call, he left his apartment, stopping by Maplecrest to pick them up, and lead them to Lab 8. When the two parents saw their daughter, they rushed to embrace her, crying deeply as they saw what had been done to her. But, regardless of how she appeared, she was still their daughter.

Naruto stood by Filia's side with a tiny warm smile, watching the family reunite made his heart feel great.

Filia wiped away a pair of tears, smiling so wide her grin threatened to burst off her face, "We make a good team, huh, Mr. Detective?"

He flashed her a smile, "Of course we do, partner. And I've got another case on my hands. But I wouldn't mind if you wanted to continue working with me. I don't know about teenagers' part-time jobs nowadays, but I'm sure you'd love to make a little pocket money."

Coming alive at that, Samson gave off a deep chuckle, "Well, whaddya say kid? Want to help the dick solve cases and get cats outta trees?"

Filia chided him gently by tugging on him before she gave a radiant smile at Naruto, "I want to help more people Mr. Detective! This sort of work made me realize I love making people happy. Helping Carol out I felt like I finally made a difference in the world. I want to do more of that, so if you'd be so kind, I'd love to become your partner full-time! I still have classes to go to, but I'll spend the rest of my day with you! When I graduate, I want to work with you more closely!"

Carol left her parents with a bright smile, her hand reaching out and grabbing Filia's while her other grabbed Naruto's.

"Take care, you two. After all you've done you must promise we'll meet again. And that you'll let me work with you when we do." Naruto chuckled softly, his eyes growing misty as he nodded at his partner and their odd friend.

"Sure, it's a promise." Filia said, holding out her pinky finger, with Naruto mimicking her. Carol gave them a large toothy grin as she hooked her own finger around theirs.

Even if it was childish, Naruto grinned, "Alright, let's get to work, this newest case will be long…"

They saw Lab 8 head off as they had discussed, eventually making their way to the Canopy Kingdom's Royal Palace, Naruto hid his face underneath the brim of his hat, knowing that he had screwed over Brain-Drain's plans something fierce.

But that was for the him from tomorrow to worry about. Right now, he could enjoy a job well done.

X-X-X-X-X

The rain was pouring hard outside. Walking to a place he knew had the stuff needed to celebrate, Naruto yawned to himself, before he got serious for a split-second. His hat was pulled down over his eyes when he saw the lights were on.

"Might be Medici. Might be some other shady folks. But for a late-night bowl, I'll chance it..."

"Nghhh…Bored…. boreeeeddd…!" Feng shut her eyes tight, she had a sense of déjà vu. Had she been there before? Sitting at a restaurant late at night, she didn't expect to see the biggest pain in her rear enter the place. A small noodle shop that catered towards seedy clientele, the type of folks who needed food ate at night and needed people who didn't ask questions about it.

Naruto walked over to the stool that was nearby where the two Cirque members sat at. The green-head had been pestering Feng as they waited for their grub. She had instantly noticed the tired-looking man taking a seat and tensed before he gave her a lazy grin.

"Hey, how's it been? It's been a long day for me. Just closed a major case." He told Cerebella, who sniffed petulantly.

"Tch. Was kind of enjoying the night without you, jerkface."

Feng silently pushed her head against the counter, her mouth set in a wordless scream from frustration at the blatant lying.

"That so? Well I can always leave you know, it's fine with me." He replied, getting up until she grabbed his arm with a glare, her cap was on the counter next to her but her hand moved as if to put it back on.

"Oh, shut up! Sit down. C'mon. I'm starving and…I want to know how you solved the case."

"Got an anonymous tip. Some informant calling themselves C&F. It might be a code." He said, oblivious to the fact that it was the two of them who tipped him off.

"Hehe. You couldn't have done it without that person, huh?" Cerebella jostled him smugly, her teeth bared into a wide pleased grin, Naruto rubbed the back of his head with a mildly amused look.

"Yeah. Whoever they are, I owe them my thanks. An innocent girl is back home with her parents, getting to go to a new school, and has a new friend to help her." He confessed, Cerebella's face looked to the side, her expression shyer which confused him.

"W-well, you should be very grateful to them! Maybe even act really kind to them if you ever met them for real!" he sighed, Cerebella was impossible to figure out on a good day, and even right now she was a mess of contradictions.

"Man, I don't get paid enough to figure out girlies like you. Princess Parasoul's probably going to get on my tushie tomorrow for something. I can feel it in my bones." He said, looking outside the shop as the rain fell in gushing buckets.

Feng rose her head up, something that had always been nagging at her coming out unbidden, "Why do you work so hard for such a distant princess? You're strong and smart, you could do anything you want. Why be a detective?" Naruto and Cerebella both looked surprised by the normally quiet Dragon Empire girl's words, she just looked to the side with a huff.

Naruto responding with a chuckle, "Because I respect her. She's keeping the peace and paying me to help people. I'm often so checked out and tired, I can barely manage to pay my rent, why do you think I bug you guys so much for rent money winnings? When I see her bringing in cars full of criminals, it motivates me to work harder as an agent of hers. She's a, pardon my cliché term, symbol of peace and justice."

Cerebella didn't look impressed,"Yet you bug us Medici all the time! You call yourself an agent of justice, but you just mooch off our hard-earned cash and mess around half the time!"

Feng quietly face-palmed, Naruto putting his hands up to calm Cerebella down, "Hey now, hey now. Let's just relax alright? We're not on the clock anymore, right now we're just a trio of folks trying to get dinner. And it's late at night. I've got another case on my hands to boot. Something or another by a private client."

Placated by his calm tone and words, Cerebella moved her hand away from Vice Versa, staring into a cup of cold water she had been drinking while waiting for her dinner, "You know, you're just a jerk, right? You could be better to me. A better friend and sparring partner. Jerkface."

Feng placed a hand on her best friends back, rubbing it gently as Cerebella looked morose and petulant again, "What the hell was going on with your apartment this morning? Some domestic couple moved in, started fighting, and we had to leave."

Quickly putting two and two together to get something that resembled four, Naruto made up a quick lie that sounded believable enough to him, "I have no clue. I got evicted last night. Seems I was too late with the rent money. Right now, I'm crashing at a crummy apartment, not as good as my old one. I swear I saw a roach as big as a dog running down the hall."

Chortling, Cerebella looked smug at that, "Serves you right! Stealing from us hard-working honest types got you evicted anyway! Hahaha!" she turned a bit guilty at his flinch and looked off to the side.

"Well…if you're really so hard up, you can take a stay at one of our apartments. But you better pay up front and not cause a fuss after you get set up!" he looked amused by her offer and responded with a slight wave of his hands, "I don't want to bring any trouble to your doorstep. Don't worry about me needing to leech off the Medici's 'hospitality' more than I should."

Looking affronted at his rejection, but mollified by his words at the same time, Cerebella huffed, holding one arm with a glower, "It was just an offer jerk. You don't need to take it up if you don't want my help. I won't offer it again though, so you better make up your mind soon."

Feng looked at their byplay, groaning softly to herself, "You two are impossible…"

"And it's Cassandra." Her words startled both him and Feng, turning, he looked confused as she glared at him sharply, "My first name. It's Cassandra. You don't need to use my stage name every time we meet. Plus, you rarely go to one of my shows anyway."

"Heh…Fine then. Cassandra." He replied, their food came in short order, and after paying the trio went their separate ways. Cerebella, Cassandra he mentally corrected himself, was in a good mood for once. And he hoped that she wouldn't realize he had lied to her. The look shot at him from Feng implied she at least knew he was lying but didn't want to bring it up.

"What a world, what a world." He collapsed in bed soon after he got home. Another night of peaceful sleep, a rarity for him and one he wouldn't deny made him wake up feeling like a million bucks.


	5. Jumpin' Jack

Swinging Detective Chapter 5.

I do not own Naruto which is owned by Masashi Kishimoto (unfortunately), Skullgirls by Lab Zero Games, or any jazz songs, they're all owned by their respective owners.

**Bold for demon speech, Painwheel speech, or similar characters talking.**

_**Bold and Italic for attack names.**_

_Italic for thoughts and flashbacks_

Recommended listening for this chapter.

Diablo Swing Orchestra- A Tap Dancer's Dilemma.

Benny Goodman: Sing Sing Sing

XXXXXX

The next day, Naruto killed time punching the living hell out of the training dummy he set up while waiting for Filia to get out of classes. He was practicing a brutal jab combo on it, occasionally answering the phone when it rang. Most of the times it rang it was just Peacock prank calling him. A call to remember was from Carol's parents who wanted to thank him yet again, with the girl herself speaking of what they did now that they were together while she still recovered before having to go to school.

But one call made him stop training for a moment to get a glass of water. He wrapped a towel around his shoulders and spoke after hearing the voice on the other end of the line. Recognizing the owner wasn't hard when their boss appeared a lot on TV putting criminals in jail. Sadly, cutting some of his income and making him look bad in front of said boss, who was also his boss. But since they did a good job, he wouldn't complain when real scumbags didn't hurt innocent people.

"Detective." The caller greeted him.

"Mr. Adam, how can I help you and the Black Egrets?" On the other end of the phone was Adam Kapowski, the most treasured second in command to the Black Egrets, the private military of the Canopy Kingdom.

Naruto had met Parasoul many times in the past. His line of work brought him close to the government since he had to get a license from her, meaning he was practically working on her say-so, being his de-facto boss meant that he respected her a lot. Part of the reason they got on as well as they did, enough to alarm some of the Black Egrets, was because he fully understood Umbrella and was extremely close to her when he stopped by the palace. Konohamaru and the little pinkette were kind of alike, so he kind of knew how to make the girl smile.

"We have reports of you and a schoolgirl fighting some rather suspicious figures. One which you apprehended according to a key witness – a boy using his telescope if you must know – and the other being a very dangerous wanted criminal. However, details on the latter, given the description from the witness, are… complicated."

Naruto sat at his desk, putting his feet on its surface, "She gave me one heck of a headache. I still feel like I got a pounding hangover from dealing with her. So, do you want to compare notes or…?"

"Nothing of the sort." The man said calmly, "Simply put, it's best if there's more than one person trying to bring those playing in the shadows to justice. This is big, detective, bigger than you'd ever imagine."

Leaning back on his chair, the blond retorted, "I'd ask for you to surprise me, but lately all surprises involving this… big sick game have just really, really put whoever's behind it at the top of my shi-"

"Adam, can I talk to him now?"

"It's a good thing I didn't end that sentence…" Naruto mumbled with his mouth away from the phone, before smiling as he brought it closer, "Hi, Umbrella, how ya doing? Still want to learn the imploding wedgie for your sister's birthday?"

"You shall not teach her that."

"And I suddenly ruined my good day." The detective swallowed nervously after registering who was the owner of the new voice. "So, a threeway conversation? How did your sister get in-"?

"We have to meet. Come when you're done with whatever you have. Naruto, dress nice or I'll dock your pay again. Remember, you work for me." Parasoul said simply and coldly. With that and a click, she hung up on him.

Hanging his phone, the blond sighed tiredly, "She sure is pretty, but I pity the poor soul brave enough to marry her."

With a grumble, he went to take a long cold shower. Once he was done cooling off his body, he walked out with a towel wrapped around his waist just as Filia opened the door to his apartment. He mentally sighed at having granted her a spare key since she effectively lived with him.

He had seen the piece of crap hovel she had been staying at before, took one look at it, then at her "fellow" neighbors - little more than drug junkies and Medici two-bit crooks - and finally told her she was living with him from then on. He got her signed on as his partner, even got her business cards of her own, then moved her meager possessions into his pad. From there on he got her a spare key to the apartment, and she was finally his partner in everything.

Filia herself was more than happy to have a companion to live with, mostly because she had been lonely even with Samson to keep her company. And she really liked Naruto. She was also happy because she was a lousy cook. Sadly, that was partially why she had gotten rather pleasantly plump. Eating out every night with money Samson swiped did wonders for her figure but also made her chunkier than before.

"I'm home Mr. Detective… AH!" Filia's eyes grew wide as she saw his fully unclothed torso, and gained a gigantic cherry red blush over her face.

She had never seen a man virtually nude in front of her before, let alone one she cared about as much as him. Naruto on the other hand made a quick sign with his hands before his towel fell. Before Filia could see anything more than just her quick tantalizing peek, a cloud of smoke covered his body and soon his form was covered by clothes. He had even dried off in that same movement.

"Sorry! I didn't expect you'd get here now. Classes let you out early?" He asked Filia, putting on some cologne which gave him a much earthier smell.

Filia managed to focus on his face and put the memories of his extremely toned abs and pecs out of her mind for a little bit, and said with a blush and her hands still covering her eyes embarrassedly, "Yeah, Mrs. Victoria let us out early since Carol was new and needed a little bit to catch up to where we were in class."

Naruto flipped up his best trilby, the one Nadia got him for his 24th birthday. When he spun around in his full get-up, Filia visibly relaxed.

"Well then, big news: we got a call from princess Parasoul. She wants us to head out to her abode to get the rundown on a case she wants us to deal with. Not to mention we have that Sekhmet case on, but hey, business is business. We need the money, so I don't have to go bugging Cerebella at the casino."

He adjusted his tie, Filia smoothing out Samson who was already waking up. The parasite usually passed out when she was at class since education bored her gruff voiced symbiotic partner to tears. Although, he did have to admit Mrs. Victoria was one helluva dish to look at.

"Hrgh… Kid? We're already on the clock? Alright! I was bored out of my friggin' mind!"

"We've got a date with Princess Parasoul herself, let's not get her madder at me than she already is." He opened the door, Filia walking out alongside him before he shut and locked it.

"It'll take us a lot longer to go by train, so hang on tight, we're going there the fast way." With a nod at Filia, who already had an idea of what he was going to do, he scooped her up in a bridal carry.

The girl placed her arms around his neck while Samson just grunted in annoyance, locking his hairy tendrils around him like a safety belt. Wind gathered around Naruto's legs; twin cyclones whirled around his feet before he blasted up into the air like a rocket. A few people watched his body soar high above the streets and buildings around them before shrugging it off as another Monday.

Filia let out an impressed gasp as she saw how small everything was below her. Samson had his eyes shut and felt the air force his eyelids open. The parasite didn't want to get sick while looking down. Whirling his body like a top, Naruto rushed forward, soaring high as he flew them towards Canopolis itself. One would say he did fly, but he was kicking the air so hard and fast he shot through it like a ballistic missile.

For the girl in his arms, she let loose a loud whoop of excitement. Her eyes were wide and happy as she felt a rush of pure adrenaline pound through her body. She had never traveled quite like that before, the closest being combat with Samson using wings, but he never flew as high, and for her it was just another great thing about Naruto she loved.

Samson on the other hand was all but screaming from the force of the wind with his lips flapping. His tongue was flopping madly out of his mouth as he did his absolute best to keep it closed, failed, and screamed even louder before they landed down at the Canopy Kingdom's capital.

In an explosion of force, Naruto skidded to a halt in front of the massive castle. Soldiers watched dust fly around his feet due to the ballistic-level momentum he gained. When they came to a halt, he let down Filia. She was panting rapidly, her face bearing a massive excited smile and heavy blush. Samson thanked the Trinity that they were finally done with that trip. The soldiers looked at who had landed before deciding Mondays were just too weird.

"And we're here, good to go?" He asked her with a soft laugh.

She inhaled, calmed down Samson, then nodded in excitement at him, her hand up in a thumb up, "Yeah! That was awesome Naruto! Ah, I mean Mr. Detective! That was one of the most exciting things I have ever done, are we going to go back home the same way?" She asked him hopefully.

He shook his head with a sigh, her face grew disappointed while Samson just sobbed in relief.

"Nah, we only did it like this today. I hate keeping Her Highness waiting. Trust me, none want her mad at them for being late." He said, then noted her look of disappointment. "Well…I guess we can make it back the same way if you liked it that much."

His words made Filia fist pump the air happily. Samson was crying for less happy reasons.

"Step aside." A soldier said firmly as he walked to them.

Samson was about to tell the man where to stuff his order, but Naruto grabbed the schoolgirl gently over the shoulder and walked with her two steps back. As they did, a large truck drove by, with an unhappy and gigantic blond woman with her hair in a ponytail and some odd horn on her forehead biting the bars on one side of vehicle. Whether it was to escape or because she was mad, Naruto had no clear way of saying.

What he could say after a low whistle was, "Well, the princess always has a fun way to put people in cuffs."

"What kind of fun way and cuffs?" that stern voice made him stiffen.

"And I shall curse this big mouth of mine… Your Majesty, you're looking good." He put on a smile before doing two finger gun gestures at the red-haired woman before him. Her visible eye narrowed at him and he swallowed nervously.

With a long mane of fiery red hair and a bang covering one of her eyes she showed both class and beauty. Her pale skin, sharp gold eyes, and the tight, and so very well-crafted dress that hugged her voluptuous body made her a dream. It was too bad the parasol in her hand would have a nice introduction with the face of any unworthy ones who tried to ask her out. It didn't mean no one tried, but the results varied from disastrous to hilarious for the onlookers and ended horribly for whoever thought the redhead beauty would let them waste her time with some cheap one-liners.

Naruto got away with his half-way joking and flirting for being, in her own words, a harmless but well-meaning fool. Harmless in the sense he didn't disrupt the peace or cause much trouble beside annoying the mafia, which she nodded approvingly at. She could do without his humor and antics when trying to show her little sister ways to prank someone. The infamous imploding wedgie had been a project she did her best to stop every time it was brought up.

"I see you're the same as always, only accompanied." She remarked coldly, but Filia could tell she wasn't trying to insult him, "I never thought I'd see you with a partner. Who would you be?"

"Oh! Uh… Your Majesty… I mean, I'm Filia, Your Highness. And yes, I am Mr. Detective's partner." The girl said, bowing down while putting her left foot back, and lifting as little of her skirt as she could. It wouldn't do if she flashed the royal crown her tidy white panties.

"There's no need to force yourself be so formal if you work with him." Said the redhead, pulling a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "I have heard of your actions when fighting dangerous individuals. If you'd follow me, I'd like to discuss this matter in private and-"

"Yay! Naruto's here!" said a small girl with short pink hair. She had a yellow raincoat with a matching hat, and latched on Naruto's shoulders, sitting on them. She had used his arm like a ladder when he outstretched it to her person.

Parasoul sighed but continued her sentence, "-wait for you two to catch up, it seems."

With Umbrella riding on his shoulders like a tiny jockey, Naruto just gave Parasoul a soft but patient smile. Despite herself, the princess felt her own lips crease into a warm look of her own as she watched Umbrella cheer happily. The girl loved getting piggybacks from the blond detective. Filia laughed girlishly, smiling wide as she watched how good Naruto was with the much younger girl.

Her eyes met with the princess before she blushed and looked away, not wanting to seem too forward as to look upon royalty like they were alike. Naruto on the other hand chatted with Umbrella, their conversation meandering from topic to topic seamlessly. The two chatted all the way up to the command room, Parasoul interjecting whenever the conversation ventured towards a topic she knew more about.

The topic both discussed was cuisine. Parasoul found it utterly maddening that Umbrella preferred what Naruto made for her when he was visiting as opposed to the royal lunches and ice cream made directly in the palace by the best chefs in the entire kingdom. Filia was amazed as this was a side of the distant and cold princess she never saw before on TV. Parasoul acted irritated and outright annoyed with Umbrella.

"I cannot understand this foolishness. What makes a detective barely capable of making a passable omelet without burning his face to a cinder and who can't even make a sirloin steak to die for a better cook?"

Umbrella turned her nose up at her sister, hugging Naruto tightly with a mock-glare at her sister, "It's 'cos when he makes me food, he makes it because I wanted him to make it for me. Not for anyone else, but because it's what I wanted."

Parasoul brushed a lock of hair from her face in irritation, her expression growing exasperated, "But why? The chefs make you whatever you want too. I can't get it, what makes him so different?"

Huffing, Umbrella hugged Naruto again, her eyes growing annoyed as well, "Because it's their job. He makes it because it's what I want. He doesn't have to. That's what matters most."

Chuckling nervously as the two sisters had lightning bolts sparking from their eyes, Naruto cleared his throat to interject until he saw Panzerfraust shake one massive hand out next to him. Adam swiped his finger against his lips in a shushing motion.

"And another thing. You're always bugging him to learn how to prank people. Aren't you getting a bit old to resort to such childish tricks to get attention?" Parasoul tried to be patient, and she really did, but the imploding wedgie request Umbrella kept trying to get Naruto to teach her about got on her nerves.

Umbrella puffed her cheeks, "It's because you always tell me I won't be a kid forever. How one day I'll be tasked with ruling just as much as you!" Naruto reached up to her with one hand, Umbrella holding it tightly with a softer look at her sister. "So, yeah, I want to have fun before that happens!"

Naruto started sweating as Parasoul's eyes shot to him, drilling through like laser beams until she exhaled softly, "I admit I've been a bit more serious than usual… This recent unrest with the Skullgirl, especially so soon after the last one has been causing a lot of stress. I guess you resorting to pranks to enjoy yourself isn't so bad." She said with a nod, Naruto nodded back while Umbrella clapped her hands happily.

The conversation died down as they reached the command center. Filia did her best to not look out of place next to the tall seriously dressed soldiers around her, her partner, the princess of the entire kingdom, and the princess' closest military advisors. Surprisingly, she found it quite easy, she was already gaining confidence in herself and her fighting abilities since Naruto trusted her so much to watch his back.

"So, what are we here for, Your Highness?" Holding Umbrella in one arm while the other steadied his close to falling off hat, Naruto had to get to the crux of the matter.

When Adam tried to take Umbrella away, he shook his head at the man. Parasoul sighed but nodded at Adam to let her little sister stay. She had to learn this sort of business sooner or later. Parasoul stood to military attention, her soldiers, Filia, and Naruto saluting her as one unified whole.

Samson groaned to himself silently, '_Seriously? C'mon! I admit the princes has got a rockin' bod but you and the private dick… ugh._'

His thoughts aside, Parasoul told them the truth seriously, "We suspect the Skullgirl has resisted her call to destruction for a good amount of time, her attack on the Medici HQ notwithstanding. But what is truly alarming is that she has been seen moving alongside that same woman you and Miss Filia fought together, the rogue Valentine. Their connection is linked to the rising of the undead by the Skullgirl. This means the new incarnation of our old foe has connections to the Anti-Skullgirl Labs my father disbanded. Well, the ones that I wasn't immediately aware of at least."

She showed them multiple slides, through admittedly poor lighting and camera angles that none the less showed the Skullgirl standing next to Valentine, along with Valentine's appearance next to her.

"But above all, there is something worse that has been going on. We have reason to suspect that they're aided by a third, unknown party, a shape-shifter. We have no known name or identity for them but notice that in every picture there is a third party. They change appearance, gender, weight, even age, but they are always there." She showed them, Naruto giving a start as at least one picture showed a woman who looked like the same one who called for his aid.

He felt his mind spark. His eyes shut in exhausted irritation.

"I know that one. She came to me and requested me to look into a murder case. I'm not sure if she's the one in the pictures or a coincidence, but if she is there's probably a connection between her, some woman called Sekhmet, and the Skullgirl." He explained seriously.

"Sekhmet?" Samson asked to himself, "Could it... No, it can't..." he didn't notice his partner hearing him.

Tugging on her skirt, Filia bit her lip, there was a lot the amnesiac girl didn't know still. But she wanted to learn all there was to know about both of her partner's.

Parasoul narrowed her eyes darkly "Nothing leaves this room, understood? We cannot have the enemy learn anything of what we know about them. If they did, then all of us would be in jeopardy."

It was at that very same moment that Naruto's nose picked a now very familiar scent. Right then an alarm in his head wailed about danger, buzzing rapidly. He swiftly made his way towards a non-descript Egret soldier standing to attention near Parasoul.

"Excuse my manners." He whispered softly. Her eyes turned to him in confusion, moments before her expression became enraged at his next action.

He promptly punched the soldier with a wild right hook that sent its head crashing to the wall. Parasoul rocketed towards him, her handgun already pointed at him until he jumped back, protecting her from a pair of bone blades that shot out the wound aimed to slice her in two only to clash with his knuckle dusters.

The 'Egret' corpse stood up, with its head already regenerating to form a blank head with multiple eyes and mouths opening over it. The uniform melted away to reveal a disturbing yet weirdly feminine body made of meat, tentacles, flesh, and bone shifting like fluid. Her bone blades retracted.

"How exactly did a mere detective sniff me out?! Was it your intuition!?"The disgusting creature asked him in a female voice that shifted tone, infliction, and pitch, but remained utterly enraged at every change.

Naruto flicked his nose with his thumb, "You smell too much of meat. It's like walking to a butcher's place, only that you're the meat." He kept his laidback grin and said, "I actually wanted to knock you out and at least ask why you followed me..."

"So, you recognize who I am. I knew things were too good to be true when hiring you." The amorphous creature said before taking Naruto's form but with every color, even his skin, swapped for another. Blue hair, crimson suit, white shirt, black tie, and gray skin with orange eyes.

Naruto put his hands back in his pockets, arching a single eyebrow up in what seemed mild-surprise, "I'd like to say not bad, but...I think my clients would hate the bootleg design."

"As does his partner." Filia said, readying herself with Samson wiggling in anticipation.

"And his comrades." Parasoul said as her Egrets got ready, Adam picking Umbrella to take her to safety.

The copy-cat clone blasted forward via a jet of blood, its hands morphing into a pair of snapping jaws that Naruto used his elbows to parry. The wind took a deep inhale for a brief moment before the jaws were sliced clean off, exploding into ribbons of meat that quickly sizzled and hissed in the air.

Rocking back on his feet, Naruto took a laidback stance with his hands back in his pockets. His body bobbed and weaved while he put on a carefree smile. His clone mimicked his motions but lacked the tempo and energy he did. The difference came clear as day when his left fist shot forward in a jab, and cross-countered his clone, while his head had leaned a millimeter to the side and perfectly dodged the attempted spear thrust of the bone blade replacing his clone's arm.

"As I've said, you're a fake at best." His mocking enraged his copy due to his carefree, lazy tone.

Twisting its entire body around rapidly in a whirl after he sent it flying back, it became a washed-out clone of Parasoul herself. All parties were shocked when she flipped into the air and begun violently stabbing at them with her umbrella. The ground was splintered into fragments while all of them ducked around the machine gun like blows. Naruto swung out his arm, one hand latching onto the real Parasoul and swinging her around like a dance partner.

"Let's dance the jitterbug, Your Highness!" Both whirled around each other, dodging every strike fired at them by the clone. Then he threw Parasoul into the air, her entire body spinning acrobatically like a ballerina before she was soaring higher than her clone.

"This is how you really do that move there; you fake!" What she unleashed was akin to a proverbial missile barrage. Her umbrella hammered her clone back down to the earth hard enough to cause explosive blasts of force that sent pieces of it flying into the air like minced meat.

Shaking like a blob of jelly, the shape-shifter changed her appearance, appearing as Filia. The real girl ran right at her, then fell on her back, skidding over the ground before Samson punched the floor. The move launched the girl into a brutal round-house kick that showed everyone her white panties. While unaware of the view she gave, Filia's kick was enough to send her clone staggering back. The copy's neck twisted to the side violently as she blinked her eyes in dazed confusion.

From what she had observed of Filia fighting before, she wasn't nearly that aggressive and Samson practically had to do most of the work for her, so where did that come from?

The follow up rising knee that Filia slammed into her face leading into a whirl that had Samson club her with his tendrils forming a pair of massive fists left the double starting to wonder what the hell was going on since she was getting her ass served.

"Real shame to mess that face partner, but since it's a fake, I'll go to town."

The double's eyes snapped forward at the blond dashing right at her. Multiple screaming mouths formed over her face and bared their teeth. Right there, that was the cause of her frustrations! The blond blasting towards her, that damn detective!

She transformed her entire upper body into a bear-trap set of jaws and attempted to bite him into two pieces. Double's desire was to shred her target, only to get a glowing blue sphere ramming right in the center of her gullet. He left his brass knuckles in his pockets as he connected his attack. The whirling sphere kept shredding the flesh she had around her, preventing her from devouring him whole!

The sphere itself was a rapidly revolving mass of blades, blue energy, and a solid white core that looked to be pulsing. Supercharging the sphere with more pure power than it was used to granted it a secondary effect that he made use of.

"**_Rasengan_…**" he held a pure chakra orb which he crushed in his fist, "**_Overload_!**" he shouted before it exploded into a massive wind bomb that turned most of her body into a red mist.

Naruto landed back next to Parasoul who already had her parasol out and blocked the rain of blood. Filia rose her fist up and bumped it with Samson's. The parasite just looked pleased while the blond detective pulled his hat down with a chuckle.

Umbrella who had been kept safe the entire time by the Black Egret's, jumped up onto Panzerfraust's back and shouted out loud," THAT WAS TOTALLY WICKED!"

Her huge grin brought a laugh out of Naruto's throat. Parasoul heaving a sigh as her headache was about to get worse, she felt.

Far off, in the Church of the Trinity, a red-eyed nun slammed an engorged pair of club-like arms against a wall, creating a massive imprint against it. Her features bled together into a horrid mess of howling faces, blood leaking from their teeth out of eldritch fury while globules of eyes popped up all over her skin and body until she suddenly calmed down.

Her expression smoothed out again, and as Valentine observed her with a carefully measured level of caution, she smiled softly, "…He's absolutely perfect to snuff out that wretch. With his aid I can remove both problems from my plan, let him fight her, then see about destroying him soon after…or…hm…" She seemed to actually gain a blush on her face, or was that a trick of the afternoon sun the nurse ninja wondered, "I might keep him around as a pet… Yes, I'd like that. A lovely little toy to keep myself amused for the rest of time, surely they would let me have that much…"

Valentine said nothing, and merely bit into a bar of dark chocolate while in the background she could listen to the anguished screams of the Skullgirl, "Soon…" she said to herself.

Back at Parasoul's place, the princess gritted her teeth, "It seems this was a fiasco even before we knew it. With our enemies knowing our moves we must plan around it. Thankfully we took out the spy before they could know of anything else."

"I think the plan's simple, Princess." Naruto said, "This dame wanted me to look into Sekhmet. I haven't really said no to her case, and if there's a connection between them, then I will get answers from that woman regardless of how bizarre this adventure's gotten."

Parasoul nodded, "Very well. We shall remain in touch, though. Adam will keep us in contact while we try to get our target's attention. Their trick gave me an idea." She looked at the detective and schoolgirl, examining them, "A proper set of clothes, and it'll look like you two are in two places at the same time. Unless you have another plan in mind."

"Really?" Naruto asked, feeling something off. "Well, there's no need for me, since I wanna go and take a looksee at Innsmouth if you wouldn't mind coming with me."

Parasoul groaned to herself, "Fine… I shall…accept you have a trick up your sleeve. Granted, I had the idea to go there. If the Skullgirl is after the Medici, there's a chance we'll find them there. The disappearances in those streets reek of their work."

Filia tensed, "You mean those Dagonian girls?" she shuddered at the thought of what horrors they could do to the merfolk girls after hearing the news.

Naruto felt tired just thinking about it, "Yup, seems like I gotta bust out some old moves again. On one hand, Minette-chan could be a target and Little Innsmouth wouldn't be the same without her. On the other, this Sekhmet is bad news. And I don't wanna miss a lead on either."

"I'll be after this Sekhmet." Filia said, a hand to her impressive chest, "If your friends need you, you'll be there for them, and I'll be there for you even if I'm away!"

Naruto didn't hesitate, "I'll go with you. This isn't a sign I don't trust you Filia; this Sekhmet lady is enough to make that copycat angry. I don't want anything happening to you that I couldn't help you with. Also...You all kept saying stuff about disguises, when I've got this trick."

Filia looked surprised then smiled widely. Everyone was surprised when Naruto put his fingers up in a strange cross-shaped seal, before a perfect clone of himself appeared in a puff of smoke. Samson was the first to reply with a loud.

"The Hell?!"

"I haven't used this technique in over a decade since I haven't needed it… I seem to be breaking a lot of my old techniques out nowadays. Guess things have finally gotten serious enough for the old me to come back…" Naruto explained before trailing off with an exhausted groan.

"Please, explain." Parasoul asked with a curious look.

Naruto nodded, "This is my clone. If poofed out of existence he will send me his memories and experiences right back. Tough as nails, just don't expect him to tank killing blows." He said as he tapped on the clone who just introduced himself with a chuckle.

The clone gave an easygoing smile and a thumb up that none the less made Parasoul roll her eyes as he was still the same, clone or not. Filia let loose another impressed noise, her eyes wide as there was still a lot about her partner she didn't know about. She looked forward to learning more about him.

"Alright, you go with Parasoul and pay Minette-chan a visit. Use any means necessary to see if Nadia can help… Even busting out the ear-scratching. As for me, I've got a date with a leg-breaker, I need info and I needed it a week ago on Sekhmet, whoever she truly is." Naruto said to his clone as lazily and carefree as usual.

The copy gave him a two-fingered salute, "Gotcha boss. Princess, after you."

Naruto turned on a dime with his hat pulled down over his head, Filia at his side before they walked out of the room in a serious fashion.

They were a man, a woman, and a parasite on a mission.

X-x-X-x-X


	6. Voodoo Mon Amour

Swinging Detective chapter 6.

I do not own Naruto which is owned by Masashi Kishimoto (unfortunately), Skullgirls by Lab Zero Games, or any jazz songs, they're all owned by their respective owners.

**Bold for demon speech, Painwheel speech, or similar characters talking.**

_**Bold and Italic for attack names.**_

_Italic for thoughts and flashbacks_

Diablo Swing Orchestra- Voodoo Mon Amour

Caravan Palace: Black Betty.

Cuphead OST: Clip Joint Calamity.

X-x-X-x-X-x

It was peaceful at first. The mafia run casino was as always busy at prime-time hours, and Cerebella was growing bored. She hadn't seen her whiskered on-and-off friend for a while, and last time she went to his apartment she got cold feet at going inside after the domestic incident she heard from within.

She recalled an earlier conversation with Vitale inside the Medici Tower. The large spectacled man kept his hair and suit as tidy as any man pretending to be a respectable business connoisseur. His business was extortion, manipulation, cleaning, and anything the mafia needed to remain untouched. And if someone wanted to get to them, a true crime savvy man could tell Vitale's fingertips would metaphorically be on the scene of their murder. Sadly, his conditioning to make orphans see him as a savior and his hand on such institutions had quite a hold over others and gave him not only loyal servants but a public image not even Parasoul could dent.

"Do you know why I called you?" he asked the acrobat.

"If it's because of Whiskers, don't worry, Vitale." She smiled but was fretting inwardly. Cerebella could tell when he was displeased, and he was gripping a cigar too tightly.

"How much money, time, and resources do we waste because you can't properly kick out a no-name?" his dull tone, blank stare and calm demeanor reminded her why he was the boss.

"He's no slouch, though, he definitely hides a lot of tricks up his sleeves." She argued.

"And yet you, with all our backup, can't lay a finger on him?" his words stung, "Cerebella, I've put all my faith in you taking out this nuisance. He may not be a threat...yet."

"Wah-what do you mean?" she blurted out.

"My sources say he's looking into us now with aid of the princess of Canopy Kingdom," he explained as an odd spark left his narrowed eyes, "and I don't need their attention with some current rumors. There is a lot on the table which aims to sink the Medici name."

"I...I understand." She nodded with a stern look on her face, and yet she felt something twitch in her.

"Good." Vitale smiled amicably, "I expect results. Have fun but keep him out of our way for the time being. And should he get too involved, you may have to take this more seriously." The expression turned into one of cold seriousness, "Otherwise, I may question if you are worthy of Vice Versa."

Despite her nervousness and fear at the possibility of a loss, Cerebella wanted to see Naruto for a good fight, to have fun regardless of what Vitale said. "C'mon lazy blond bum, where are you? Nothing's happened all day, and you've been gone for a while… Where the hell are you?" she asked, Vice Versa scratching her cheek when it itched suddenly.

"Here Cassandra, about to ask you about some chick called Sekhmet." His voice startled her, and she had to turn around quickly. To stifle her beating heart when she saw the private detective behind her.

She paused, blinking in confusion, "Sekhmet? Hell's a Sekhmet? Whiskers, did you hit your head worse than usual or what? You've been acting weird lately, and I'm not liking it."

Naruto had his knuckle dusters equipped she noted. She licked her lips slowly when she saw him remove the long daggers and stash the brass knuckles away. He twisted both blades around once he had them equipped in his hands. Her eyes traced the intricate pattern he made as he spun them. For a brief second, they turned purple in interest.

"Nothing about nothing then?" he asked her.

She shrugged with both arms, Vice Versa doing the same, "Nothing about nothing. You're barking up the wrong tree Whiskers."

He rubbed his chin once he had stashed his knives away. "Anything or anyone your boss could've been at least interested or weary enough to keep an eye on?"

Cerebella rolled her shoulders about casually while Vice Versa moved one of its arms about in a windmill pattern as she told him what she knew, "The only new person I know about is that singer Eliza. She's been doing concerts for the Medici and singing lounge jazz for a while over here. So, she got your attention?"

"Well, any singer Vitale would tell you about is worth a look." he arched a brow when she leaned forward.

"So why you really here, Whiskers? You can't be here just to pump information out of me. On that I swear I never heard of a Sekhmet in my entire life. Whoever she is, she ain't someone I know about." Cerebella asked, scratching her arm and spinning her cap when she was done.

Naruto quietly chewed on one of his suckers, crunching it. He then spat to the side due to the sour taste of lemon. With a puckered face, he responded while preparing to leave, "Thanks to you, a lead, which means this visit might have to be cut short if you don't want to have a little brawl for old times' sake. Later girlie. I've got a lead to follow, and a songstress to hunt down."

One gigantic beefy arm blocked his way. Its twin was placed on his shoulder, stopping him from moving.

He slowly twisted his head, staring at Cerebella who cheerfully yanked one of his suckers out from his coat pocket, unwrapping it with a thrill when she got a marshmallow and hot cocoa flavored one, "MMNNNH~! That's the stuff I love, Whiskers! Stealing your suckers is like playing a good round of dice, might get snake eyes, might get natural sixes, I'm glad I scored big this time!"

Pulling down his hat with two fingers gripping its trim, he smiled tiredly, "Oh, stealing from little me? Now, that's low." He knew where things were headed.

With the stick poking from her lips and a cheeky smile on her face, the acrobat rolled her shoulders about, Vice Versa cracking its knuckles behind her with loud pops once it withdrew its limbs, "Don't think I'd let you leave our humble establishment without first getting a dance in Whiskers. You bailed last time, that's just mean. You don't get a girl riled up and excited then leave her!"

He flipped out both knifes, holding one in a backwards grip while the other was pointed at her tip first, "Which kind of dance you want to have then? A ballroom step, a good old square dance, or maybe we can put on the ritz!" he flipped the knives around, spinning them both in front of him like a pair of buzzsaws as she threw an entire poker table at him.

With a loud whirring noise, he cut through the table. Two wooden chunks landed in front of him. Lightly stepping back, he kept moving backwards, dodging follow up punches that made his hair rustle from the wind force.

"One, two, three, four!" She counted as she balanced on her heels.

Vice Versa's limbs moved around as she rotated around in a circle. He kept dodging back, her whirlwind spinning made him whistle when she stopped. One leg was held elegantly up with her own hands lifted to the side for balance purposes. She gave him a wicked smile before a dagger jutted out of her heel. With a slap, his blade intercepted hers and made sparks fly. She moved her head forward just close enough that their foreheads could nearly touch.

"It's that kind of antics that give a private dick mixed messages about things." He teased her lightly.

She gave him a toothy grin, "A lady will never tell a man the intentions of her heart. Keeps them guessing if they can never tell which way the wind will blow next. You'd know a lot about that last one though, right Whiskers?"

They corkscrewed about each other. Leaning so close together to anyone watching they did appear to be dancing with each other. He even dipped an arm around her waist, her hands on his chest seemingly, but closer inspection would reveal they weren't touching each other.

Naruto's body suddenly twisted to the side. Her high blade swung around for a roundhouse kick, clipping a lock of blond hair from his head while his dagger gently skimmed the side of her stomach which she tucked in quickly. They broke apart, Naruto punching the air with his trench-knife. His move sent a spear of hard air that ripped apart a black jack table. As a storm of cards flew in the air, one caught their eyes. His traced its fall while hers watched it when it faced her. The ten of diamonds, when they both realized they were watching its fall and waiting, her eyes turned a bright purple with delight while his eyes snapped to red with excitement.

In synchronization, their faces gained huge grins, his with a hint of fangs while hers were blunt. As if on cue, he tossed his knifes in the air while Vice Versa reeled back its fists. The card flashed a smiling woman with a ten held in her hands, and he punched the air once that card hit the ground. Two bursts of wind rippled out from each of his open palms. She ducked the initial blast of air that was meant to push her away by rolling forward, her body crouched into a ball. Her body leapt up in a spring with two massive fists snaring Naruto's open and now clawed hands.

In a meeting of raw muscle, Naruto flashed the smiling acrobat a huge toothy grin, "Ready to really begin our tango there, girlie!?"

His taunt was met with her own, "Whiskers, don't tease a girl so much! Just dance, dance, dance the night away until our feet are sore, or I'll never leave you alone!" grappling with Vice Versa and leaning forward, Naruto let loose a bark of laughter at her flirty attitude.

He swung her up, down, then all around as a red tail of energy formed behind him. With a loud cry for his next move, he flung her skywards where she latched onto a swinging chandelier with one hand. When she let go and leaped off, she aimed right at him and launched herself forward like a missile.

With one fist pulled back, Vice Versa sent its arm hurtling forward in a straight so powerful it created its own force wave. Naruto met it all the way with his own straight punch. His knuckle dusters were equipped, and a boom detonated so hard it blew out both their ears, or so it seemed.

The casino shook like the world outside was splintering from their fighting. Circling each other, Naruto shook his fist out while Cerebella rotated her arms out and Vice Versa did the same. They clashed their fists together at the same time. Combined the strength they had caused the air to rock with the force, air waves bursting around each other, their explosive pummeling echoed like machine gun fire until all they both saw were their own expressions of wild delight.

Naruto had his teeth pulled back into a fanged grin, while Cerebella had her teeth in a huge toothy smile, "This is what I love the most about fighting, the thrill it brings! If you keep being such a great opponent, I might really fall for you, Whiskers! Kidding!" she said with a kiss blown at him, but her heart beat rapidly when she caught his foxy grin widen at the flirting.

"Heh, you'd be a wild firebrand by any meaning of the word, but I can't help but love women who have such strong personalities!" they moved as if gracefully dancing around once more. Her heart was beating so fast she thought it'd explode from her chest. Heat filled her cheeks and she felt the rush fill her down to her toes. This felt better than when Vitale praised her. When she nailed a performance. Only Whiskers could make her feel so good.

"Then let's go honey, after you~!" With her heart pounding like a snare drum, she walked towards him with a bounce to her step, her expression one of maddening excitement as her blood burned hot and red.

"Ladies first! Just please, don't hold back on our good time!" Naruto couldn't help it himself, his body resonated with Cerebella's in a way that he couldn't stop. Fighting her felt like it was right. Challenging her gave him the energy to keep going. For five years, all he had done when he had time was engage in combat with Cerebella as a way to spar with a willing rival.

In a crazy enough way, he couldn't help the way his heart pounded when he saw her in a fight. Rotating her shoulders about cheekily, Cerebella strut her stuff towards him, both hands on her hips with Vice Versa's arms moving at her side.

"You're looking pretty good like that, Cassandra!" he walked towards her, his own shoulders sauntering in a posture that screamed cocky.

"Thanks Whiskers, you're looking fine yourself~!" She taunted him playfully, letting her mighty chesty bounce with every roll of her hips.

Stopping in front of each other, the two swayed back and forth, the two bobbing their bodies to the groove of the fight. Naruto swiped his nose with his thumb, his fists clenched. Cerebella flashed him a pretty grin, but both stayed away at armlength. Their bodies continued moving until like a coiled spring bounced, they leaped into motion!

Vice Versa clenched him in its massive fists and threw him as hard as it could up, one hand shooting up and snaring him in an iron-clad grip as Cerebella flipped onto her hands. A sword was balanced on her leg as Vice Versa tried to impale him all the way through the blade! Just at the moment it connected with his stomach, he poofed into a log, shocking her and making her rotate her head about. Even Vice Versa had bulging eye sockets, as confused as its master was.

"Yo." Naruto sat on a pool table a few feet away; legs crossed with his arms folded.

Cerebella noticed him and gave an adorable giggle, looking amused by his perturbed look, "Don't give me that baby~! You know when we fight, I play for keeps! You'd have survived it. At the very least I'd finally have you where I could keep an eye on you! In the hospital! Hehe…"

She snickered to herself, placing her hands on the table, leaning forward with her eyes staring at his annoyed look. Placing a fist against his chin, the two just stared at each other, taking a breather. Vice Versa picked up a handful of billiard balls, rolling them in one hand like marbles.

Heaving a sigh, he told her grumbling, "I'd rather not suffer the 'mercy' of a Medici run hospital. The food would be lousy and I'd have to worry about getting a scalpel to my face or my organs being removed."

A tick mark erupted on her head at that exhausted response, "Hey! I'd take care of you, you stupid jerk! As long as I'm around, you wouldn't have anything happen to you while under our care! You'd owe us too for making sure you didn't die! Show some more gratitude to us!"

"Crippling hospital debts and working as a Mafia enforcer to pay them off, you have a weird idea of how gratitude works, girlie." With his hand on one knee, he was well prepared to roll off the table.

It was a short-lived idea once Vice Versa threw several cue balls like ballistic missiles at his chest and head when Cerebella snapped in anger, "Shut it! You keep talking like that, and I'll really put you through a world of hurt Whiskers!"

Due to his dodging, he was safe and sound from how her fists smashed into the table, denting it before she realized he wasn't on it anymore. The blinding red rage faded, and she poked her head down to check where he went, seeing his hat float in the air until his hand caught it and yanked it underneath the gap between the table and the floor.

Crouching down in the darkness- he wasn't surprised when the table got flipped- Cerebella cartwheeled towards him, Vice Versa's limbs launching a double hammer blow which was caught by his own hands! The ground cratered beneath his feet, spider-web cracks splintering out like little black lines, each one sending up small fragments of rubble.

With his tail swinging around, he was able to shove her back, getting space for himself while she hopped back elegantly, each step bringing her out of range from the whip like lashes of his tail, dodging the bubbling red hot energy with a quick motion. She backed away, giving him a wink only to gulp when she saw him kick the still air-bound table right back at her! As she punched it into fragments, she realized that he didn't have his knives at hand anymore.

Her danger senses tingled when her sharp ears heard the air being cleaved apart by a pair of things spinning through it. Seemingly at random, she pointed at him with one finger, leaning back to give him a flash of her panties just as Vice Versa pointed with its own fingers! The meaning of this gesture was made clear as she had deflected via rapid poking his daggers, thrown at her in an arc!

Catching both in his hands, he crossed the two of them, wind encircling his body and covering the daggers in glimmering red 'teeth'. Pulling them apart, he flashed her a fanged grin, just before he swung his arms to the side then back again!

When he clashed them together, a facsimile of a fox's head emerged out in a burst of solid air! Its teeth gnashing down on the spot Cerebella just was! She yelped briefly,"Tryin' to kill me Whiskers?!" dodging back as the head kept rushing forward, chewing up the ground and air as she flipped back she made a snap decision in mid-air.

Vice Versa clasped both hands down and smashed the fox-head into nothing, pushing off of the ground with its fists, Cerebella gained air-time once more thanks to her hat. As an acrobat, she was at her peak when she was in the middle of the air or moving as quickly as she could. The world slowed down from her viewpoint and with it, she gained a perspective on how best to fly, fight, or swing.

Naruto traced her path in the air until he realized just what was going on as she kept spinning to gain momentum, the meaning of which was finally uncovered when the sword from her earlier attempt to impale him appeared in her hand and was balanced on her heel before she swung it down in a magnificent axe-kick.

His fist impacted her leg, deflecting the sword which only carved the ground up, with the momentum she had gained, she flashed him her panties again, swiveling about in a rapid arc until she landed down, then shot forward with Vice Versa's horns formed into ram-horns! With both arms in a shoulder check along with hers, she wasn't let down by his response time as the wind went silent.

Using his tail like a living whip, he was able to lash his body around a stray column, using his own torque to knock her out of her tackle! Launched back, she gripped the ground with Vice Versa's limbs, trying in vain to stop her skidding. It was then that she realized why the wind had stopped howling.

Drawing back his fist, she saw a cyclone taper down into a singular focused point over his limb. A tornado's tail appeared behind his elbow, when he threw that punch, the entire casino howled as the wind screamed its fury at being unleashed!

A great maelstrom charged forward, sucking up everything in its wake, rather than dodge or endure the storm, Cerebella refused to let the man she called her best frenemy be disappointed. Forming a shield with Vice Versa's arms, she charged forward, letting her own passion send her going through the squall!

Her fist cocked back when she made it through the worst of the torrential wind, almost like she was forming a pistol as she charged up her own punch, Vice Versa drawing its gigantic arm back, muscles bulging in preparation. He moved his other arm back, the wind coming back and growing hushed.

Over his open hand a swirling spiraling sphere formed, then expanded until it formed a massive orb in his grip, its purpose being made clear when he thrust his fist forward! The sphere clashed against a charged punch in a way that made the entire Casino shake and bounce once more! This time, the ground outside gained multiple cracks from the unbelievable amounts of force both had in their brawl.

"_**Rasengan…!**_" He announced, surprising her when he slowly crushed the sphere in hand, "**_BURST!_**"

Like a balloon being popped, she wasn't prepared for the overcharged concussive wave of force that sent her body flying back! Likewise, he wasn't prepared for her own punch to connect with his face, flying back with their bodies growing limp, the two smashed into opposing sides of the casino. He landed back first against a slot machine, while she tumbled over the black-jack tables.

His hat covered his face as he laid in a pile of falling tokens, while her green hair hung down and covered her eyes as cards slowly floated onto her body. They twitched slowly, their bodies stirring despite the massive damage both had just went through.

One red eye snapped open, its slit pupil focusing on her with laser-point precision. Through the curtain of green hair, one purple eye shone with a glowing sheen on his form. Both got up, forcing their bodies to stand up despite the protesting groans and creaks.

"Whiskers." She said emotionlessly.

His answer was the crack of his neck, and an equally soft tone, "Yeah, Cassandra?"

"Don't you dare stop now. Not when we're enjoying ourselves so much. You've gotten my heart aflutter, so don't stop. Please Whiskers." Walking towards each other, Naruto held his trench-knifes in both hands, his head held low with the hat covering all but his mouth and nose. Cerebella's hair still covered her eyes, hiding them from view.

"Why in the world would I ever stop? Not when this bizarre bond we call our relationship is burning up! Fighting you, heh…It's just too much fun." As they kept going, it was clear their speed was increasing at an intense level. His soft steps were turning into a light jog, feet hitting the ground harder and harder, as were hers.

"That's why I always want to go at it with you! Fighting you makes me feel alive Whiskers, so don't you ever, ever, cheat on me with a weak floozy or fight them like you do me!" Their relationship, warped and weird as it was, was a positive influence on the two of them. Like magnets pushing off of each other yet also attracting one another, they couldn't stop clashing.

They were running towards each other as they talked, Vice Versa's fists smashed into the ground as its master accelerated her pace, "If you put it that way, I can't say I will, can I?" he sprinted towards her, her feet pounding the ground as their faces snapped up. He had a wicked fanged grin that matched her equally blood-thirsty blunt toothed smile.

"No! You can't, Whiskers! You're my rival, so be proud of that! Let's just go all out, go for broke, and swing with each other all night long honey~!" Leaping skywards, Vice Versa pounded him into the ground with a brutal meteor-strike with both hands onto his head!

Landing on both feet, she skipped forward, the flailing movements of the hat's fists moving around her body in a perfect circle preventing him from getting up. Each flailing movement knocked him further up, until he was at the peak of his height, being juggled continuously as Cerebella hummed to herself.

Vice Versa gripped his entire body as it rag-dolled in mid-air and flailed him around, after cracking him several times against the ground as hard as it could, with a heave, it chucked him skywards like an ascending missile.

Cerebella braced her legs to jump. Vice Versa pushed her upwards by punching the ground hard enough to launch her, her fist drawn back while the blond righted himself by using his momentum to turn himself around.

His coat flapped wildly about him as he punched down. Twin cyclones ripped down in a combining spiral, which she broke through by rotating her body like a helicopter's blades, soaring right into him as if she was a drill.

Cerebella shoved him against the ceiling with one open hand, which he was only able to defend against by using a cushion of wind to block most of the blow, "You're really pushing your luck, don't you think!? C'mon! Give it up Whiskers, I'm on fire tonight! Pretty please~? Promise you we'll go out for a real night of the town if you give up now!" she asked with true, unbearable delight.

Pushing her body enticingly against his, Vice Versa gripped the ceiling with its other hand, her actual hands gripping his whiskered cheeks teasingly. With the way her knee was angled between his own, and her other leg had a dagger poking out from the heel just tickling his thigh, it was clear that they were at an impasse up on the ceiling.

Grinning slightly weakly with a grunt of effort, he pushed her back with one hand, glowing red energy in the form of a cyclone caressing it down to the elbow, "How's a guy supposed to get a crazy little thing called love if not trying?" her leg swung up to try and cut his arm, but as the energy faded into nothing she realized it was a feint, especially when he kicked her which she blocked with Vice Versa crossing both arms in an X, she managed to readjust her grip before she fell, one hand clenching the ceiling with the other going up palm first!

She was trying to squash him against the ceiling like a bug on a wall, unfortunately this only allowed him to escape her grip by dropping down, rolling around one massive arm and throwing himself up and away from her, he kicked off of the ceiling, landing down first and catching his hat when it fell down.

The acrobat landed on her feet, a large grin on her face, "Ready to go all out?" Despite her words, she was panting in and out, a sign that the excitement and the battle had worn her down a good deal.

"Nah, I figured I'd tire you out..." he said while adjusting his hat with a hand, "Filia-chan!"

Behind Cerebella appeared the schoolgirl, flying with a leg reared back, "Sorry!" she exclaimed when her foot collided with the dusky-skinned young lady's face, that blow made the acrobat her see stars. Falling to one knee and then nursing her face, Cerebella tried to get her dizzy eyes to go back to normal once she saw the pleasantly plump school girl standing right by the detective.

Cerebella's eyebrow twitched.

She gave an unconscious growl at the sight of Filia standing so close to Naruto, "HEY! Who's the brat!? Didn't peg you for the kind of guy wh-"

Her expression went blank without warning, eyes narrowing while a series of small periods appeared over her head on by one, worrying the blond, "I've a bad feeling she's about to say something bad."

She connected the dots very quickly it seemed, "HEY! You're that girl I saw at Naruto's apartment when I went there that one time!"

"Oh…! You're that Medici mafia leg breaker woman!" Filia realized it too, her red eyes blinking rapidly, "I can't believe you're the one who tried to come down to our house!"

"'Our' house!? Hey Whiskers, you let some underage brat live with you?" Cerebella didn't know why she was getting so pissed off, but she did know that she didn't feel right about the girl getting to live so close by to Naruto without any trouble from him.

"Ah, I was worried you'd get the wrong impression. No, wait, you still may..." he mumbled, a hand on his chin for better thinking, "See, she needed a place to crash and I've a soft spot for kittens in need of home so long as they're not demonic tigers pretending to be a cat." He still hated Tora the cat.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Cerebella snapped, "You'd really take in any stray mutt!?"

"Hey, don't be mean to dogs, even if I'm not a fan myself." He also still hated his fight with a certain wolf and dog hybrid and its master, "'Sides, I pegged you for the nurturing type. I thought you'd like to see I'm good taking care of any kind of fair lady in need."

Vice Versa picked up two large slot-machines, crumpling them together until they formed a single large metal heap, which she threw at the blond and his partner as if it was nothing more than a simple soft-ball, "That's a no!" Filia let out a yelp as she had Samson's spikes nailed and then split one in two.

Naruto's body moved in an acrobatic flip, kicked off of the top of the slab he leaped over and landing down in a crouch, "A big one. Yeesh, woman, give me a sign on how to make you smile." He sighed fully mentally exhausted. Physically, he was more than ready for a hellish dance with the furious acrobat.

Cerebella came in for a right hook, flying at Filia, only for her to react quicker. Samson's tendrils wrapped as tight as possible around one of Vice Versa's arms, managing to slow her to a literally skidding halt. As the two girls' feet slid on the floor, the schoolgirl grabbed the acrobat. Cerebella yelped as the younger, plumper and deceivingly strong girl put her thick thighs beside hers and bumped them. And with Samson at her side, she yelped cutely when judo-throwing the green-haired brawler over her shoulder.

"Hyah!" she let out the rather squeaky battle cry, "Oh boy, it worked!"

"Told you, it's basic stuff." The blond said as Cerebella heard it.

"You taught her how to fight?" she asked, growling.

"A few tricks to deal with you, yes." His smile conveyed a lot of exhaustion both from the fight itself and how drained of energy and cheer Cerebella's sudden shift left him, "Either I give her a few pointers or you're bruising poor, adorable Filia-chan, and I can't have that."

"That's it." Cerebella whispered coldly through clenched teeth, spine-tingling goosebumps running over Filia's back.

"Are you sure she'll tell us anything?" the red-eyed beauty asked her detective friend.

"Chances are convincing her is beyond impossible now, but hey, I've dealt with worse odds." He cheered her with his more tired-looking than normal grin.

"You heard the dick, let's rock this joint and get this over with." Samson said as Cerebella charged again, an aura of death enveloping her.

They waited, the furious dusky-skinned bruiser readying another attack, to which Naruto yelled, "Now!"

Everything seemed to stand still for Cerebella as Naruto and Filia dashed at her, one going for her left as the other aimed to her right. Once more, Samson got ahold of an arm, leaving the acrobat in a conundrum. If she went to attack the girl, she'd leave herself open for Naruto, but if she tried to deal with him, then the girl would have her own opening. A sharp breath got stuck in her throat when it hit her: Naruto had tired her to make her more vulnerable to such a simple but effective attack.

"And down..." Filia started as she and Samson lifted the acrobat from one side.

Naruto did the same on the other, "...you go!" and finished the girl's sentence.

A stunned Cerebella hit the ground hard, her hat forcefully removed by Samson once her back made hard, heavy contact with the floor. Breathless, she lost consciousness for the second the hair parasite needed to remove Vice Versa. Having already lost some of her breath and depleted her stamina with Naruto and her angry charges allowed the detective and schoolgirl a chance for a solid win. The plan was simple, stupidly so, but the unpredictable blond loved it.

"N-No..." she groaned, getting up on her knees, defeated and angry.

"Sorry about this, but we gotta talk, and you look better without this hat." He smiled warmly, "You've got such a cute head and smooth hair Cassandra."

Blushing both angry and embarrassed, she glared, "Shut it, I'm not spilling the beans."

"That's alright. I got what I needed from you, thanks for telling me about Eliza." He said, whirling Vice Versa around on his arm before he tossed the hat up and sent it flying onto a far-off chandelier, her expression fell into an upset frown, it'd take her a while to get it down from there.

Filia gave Naruto a smile, which he returned, "Nice save Filia, you timed that attack perfectly and stayed hidden until the perfect moment."

"Whiskers planned this?!" she felt a little betrayed and more than a little hurt. Their fights were special, dammit! And this plump black-haired brat stole a march on her and got into their fight to boot? Her hands clenched tightly, and she glared at Filia who to her credit didn't flinch.

Her red eyes focused on Cerebella's; her arms crossed with a determined pose. The leg-breaker hated this girl just on sight. But something about her appearance kept nagging at the back of her mind. Where had she seen this girl's features? She needed something, anything to spark the rest of her normally decent memory.

"I'm not scared of you. And I won't look away. Naruto's here with me, and Samson too. As long as I have them and know they're with me, I can do anything and face anyone. Even my past." She explained, holding a hand against one quite sizable breast.

Cerebella enviously noted Filia was growing up rapidly and could possibly match her in no small amount of time, as if beckoned, an odd idea came to her as she saw the stage and recalled something, "You know..." she had a slight grin on her face, "I recall hearing stories of that hair you have and a partner from Vitale a long, oh so very long time ago. I recall a grave there could give you tips. It's all Vitale told me, though."

"See?" Naruto calmly and lazily told the schoolgirl, "She's cooperating."

"It's obviously a trap!" Filia exclaimed in disbelief.

"And it could be a good lead." The detective's smile made the girl's red eyes widen, "After all, her boss is not dumb enough to have taught her how to lie well."

Cerebella glared, "What do you mean?"

"Let's be honest, as good as a dealer as you are... You can't really lie as well as he does." He tipped down his hat, "So, where is this place?"

"Where do you think?" She growled, "He never told me to lie because he knew I never needed such trick."

Naruto sighed inwardly, '_Please don't keep telling yourself that, sweetie._'

He turned around, preparing to leave her behind, which brought her even more fury than before, "You bastard! You're not just leaving me here while you go smooching some two-bit overweight and underage hussy, are you!?" She asked, Naruto giving her a wry grin.

"You're beat. Lay back, and don't follow us. I can fight you again for real later in an old-fashioned brawl, just you and me next time, I promise." He continued walking, as she struggled to get up but couldn't manage it.

She punched the ground furiously, glaring at him with immense betrayal and hurt, "Bastard, this was our fight dammit, cheating asshole! D-damn you…"

Filia looked back, "She really hates you."

"Does she? I think she's jealous." He chortled and wagged his lollipop in a hand, "See, she's great and all, but not the sharpest tool in the shed. I think that's why I've grown so fond of her and kept an eye on my one and only friendly enemy."

"Make sense already." Samson growled.

"Sadly, I can't beyond saying the obvious." Naruto sighed with a shrug, putting the candy back in his lips, "She believes blindly that his boss is the good guy. I've tried to break her out of it, but the bastard..."

His mood was soured for once, Filia growing nervous while Samson ground his teeth for a second, "He's kept a good track record of cleaning his prints, right?"

"Even the royal families got a bone to pick with the round ton of fun...or a couple hundred thousand." He'd lie if he said he didn't want to break more than the guy's jaw, but there was a problem, "Kids growing around any parent figure will latch on to them, I know from experience. Only way to make them see reason is truly a task fit for whatever deity you pray to."

"You're not a praying type, but an active one, right? What's stopped you?" Samson questioned.

For once, Naruto spat venom when saying a name, "Vitale...guy's good at keeping his pets on a tight leash." Closing his eyes, he forced himself to keep his cool, "Going to him directly won't work, making him sign a confession will fail, and getting him to spill the beans shall lead to Cerebella protecting him."

"Vitale..." Filia mumbled.

"Guy's scum, plain and simple, but crafty. If anyone wants him in jail, they need to outsmart him, and it's been my mission to do so for a while."

"Why haven't you told us or done so until now?" Samson asked logically.

Naruto gave off a smirk akin to a hungry fox's, "Because with this chaos, everything's possible, mostly a slip from them trying to gain more power as the greedy, gluttonous rats they are."

X-X-X-X-X

"That cheeky tart!"

Feng sighed as she looked at her spinach, cucumber, mustard and mayonnaise sandwich before taking a small bite. Chewing indifferently, she heard Cerebella rant. She didn't listen, she just heard her while all her attention was focused on her meal. Also, she concentrated for the incoming sound of her teapot whistling loudly.

For her part, her busty bruising best buddy was rambling on about some girl. Cerebella went on in great detail about how the source of her ire, but it was ignored until Feng heard the whistle of her teapot signaling that her drink was ready.

The young woman was even stomping on her hat in a raging huff, abusing the poor thing as it cried comedic tears until she crossed her arms with a glare.

"Oh, tea's ready." The small bird-themed Chinese girl said to herself. "So, what's the main problem with that girl?" she asked while serving herself some old Oolong tea she grew herself. Unlike beatniks who got their tea mailed to seem important and feel unique, she put an actual effort to get her drink.

"Didn't you listen to me!?" Cerebella snapped. "She was a massively smug harlot, had too fat a rear, and was obviously trying to get with the detective as a perverted young girl with a thing for true men too old for her." Feng would've pointed out the hypocrisy there, but her sandwich was done to perfection and required simple, small bites to enjoy its flavor to the fullest. "That brat could ruin Naruto's life if she was around him too much and marked him as some cradle robber!"

"So, you're jealous." Feng went straight to the point as she sipped her tea, "Hmm, need some honey..."

"Wah...?" Cerebella's brain needed a moment to reboot itself. "What do you mean jealous!?"

Feng calmly swirled her drink with a spoon which had some sweet honey from her favorite store, "I said what anyone would be thinking." And casually took another sip, "Hmm, better, but not good enough. I'm going to have to find a way to dry the leaves bet-"

Any further comment was halted when Cerebella picked her up by the lapels of her outfit, "Answer me! How is it that you can mistake me, the circus' biggest and most popular girl, for someone who could be jealous of some pudgy girl who looks too dumb to tie her shoelaces and needs a parasite to fight for herself!?"

"Wait, calm down and drop me...my clothes wrinkle easily." Feng groaned as she dangled inches from the floor, a downside of being such a petite girl. Once down, she sighed, "And I meant that. You're getting too angry when you say this girl's nothing compared to you. Inferiority complex much?"

"Any woman would be better than her for Whiskers." The dusky-skinned acrobat pouted cutely.

"Like you?" Feng retorted as she smoothed down her clothes.

"N-no, I am loyal to Vitale, after all." The green-haired girl blushed as she stuttered.

"And thicker than a sack of bricks..." her friend sighed deeply while pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Look Cassandra, why don't you just go after him? You're always waiting for him to come to you or fight you on his own time, why not take the initiative for once?" Feng asked her, absentmindedly getting herself her cup of tea until the young woman's brain kicked in hard.

She rolled back that conversation and what she just said, her mind calculating it faster than it could the Feng-Shui of a room and coming to the stark realization that she had committed a grievous error in her lack of attention. Her eyes shrunk down to narrow points, sweat drops rolling down the back of her head as a massive orange arm placed itself on her shoulder gently.

"Repeat that again~! Please Feng, for me~?" Cerebella's nasty purr made shivers and not the usual good kind roll down the acrobat's back.

"I-I j-just t-thought y-you should ch-chase him down for once…" She stammered rapidly.

Cerebella's face gained a gigantic grin that split it wide open, "Chase him down~? OH FENG!" she squeezed the Dragon Empire girl in a massive hug, not for the first time making her resent that Cerebella got the best of the world. Especially in regards towards her physical development. "That's the greatest idea ever! I'll make that stupid detective pay for my humiliation! I'll beat him to a pulp, drag him into a corner and pummel him without mercy~!" she was grinding Feng against her body, shaking her rapidly from side to side much like a dog playing with a squeaky toy.

"Can't...breathe..." her petite friend wheezed out.

"When I'm done, he'll break up with that little fat harpy! And if I'm feeling forgiving, I'll let him take me on that date he's owed me for so long~! He owes me! I own him! AHAHAH~! Yes!" She threw Feng into the air, her face set in a massive smile with her eyes closed.

Feng flipped forward, landing down in a crouch and catching her sandwich and then her tea cup with thrusts of her hands, "This doesn't bode well." Feng gulped anxiously; Cerebella twirled Vice Versa around on her finger as her good mood was restored.

"Now, if I was the biggest no-good two-timing dirty low-down hussy-chasing cheating lousy jerkiest jerk in the world, where would I go first?" Cerebella asked rhetorically, looking around carefully as Feng got up, sweating nervously as she watched her best friend's rather unpredictable antics. "Eeeny, meeny, miney, moe, catch, a, detective, by, the, toe. My, momma, told, me, to, pick, him, up, and, break him, and, he, is, the, very, worst, one!"

"Is she serious?" Feng asked herself as her friend was jabbing the air childishly, with each word she spoke she moved her finger faster and faster, until she jammed her finger against a wall-hung map, pointing right at Little Innsmouth.

"He'll be heading here next! We just need to catch him there, and I'll beat him until he's black and blue! Then he'll see that I'm the only gal in town that can make him see the world as it really is!" Cerebella bored a very nasty grin on her face.

That place was the only one that she knew he went to every so often when he wasn't in town. Why she couldn't fathom, and he always lost her when she tried to tail him in the past. But if he wanted to flee anywhere, it'd be there! She was going to break him over her knee, make him cry, and then maybe forgive him after he apologized for cheating on her!

"For the love of- just tell him you like him and want to be his girlfriend…" Feng muttered in exhaustion, too worn down by Cerebella's flip-flopping to really care too much anymore. She just wanted her lunch and tea before she worried about her best friend's love-life.

Cerebella was out the door and running off, Feng being dragged alongside her. But thankfully clutching both tea and sandwich in hand, she was able to run and eat at the same time. Stuffing the sandwich into her mouth and swallowing it quickly, she chugged the tea to wash it down before she threw the tea cup back behind her. Somehow it circled around, losing its momentum, rolling across the carpet and landing on her tea-platter with a gentle 'oomph' of air.

Together, the two of them charged down the streets, heading right towards Little Innsmouth.

Little did either know, one of the Medici Mafia members was watching them go, namely Ricardo, the self-styled wooer of women held a radio to his mouth and spoke into it, "Mr. Vitale. You were right. Cerebella's infatuation with Detective Uzumaki could be made useful. They're going to Little Innsmouth. Odds are high that what you've been after is located there."

"Excellent work. Black Dahlia will be sent to retrieve it, and Cerebella afterwards." The cold voice on the other end made the thug swallow despite being a stone-cold mafia man.

"Understood sir…" he clicked the radio off and muttered to himself, almost feeling pity for their fate, "Have mercy on the poor bastard, and just make it quick, you psychopathic cyborg."


	7. Almost Blue

Swinging Detective chapter 7.

I do not own Naruto which is owned by Masashi Kishimoto (unfortunately), Skullgirls by Lab Zero Games, or any jazz songs, they're all owned by their respective owners.

**Bold for demon speech, Painwheel speech, or similar characters talking.**

_**Bold and Italic for attack names.**_

_Italic for thoughts and flashbacks_

Chet Baker- Almost Blue.

Herbie Hancock- Maiden Voyage.

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Heritage to the Future OST-Shadow Dio.

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Heritage to the Future OST-Dio.

X-X-X-X-X-X

Watching the streets pass by was one of the few pleasures in life that Eliza found in the modern era. And even that was beginning to fade. As all her pleasures save for the darker ones did. She found her most dreaded curse, boredom, begin to creep in again. She had never taken to the world of automobiles, flying vehicles, automatic boats, steam, firearms, and dreary wetness.

"The same old streets, the same old scents, the same old things and places. This drab existence is one I wouldn't wish upon my most loathed enemies, even in the distant past." Her complaining was answered by Albus' rough chuckle.

"You really hate the boring quiet, eh, boss?" Albus asked her, peaking at the rear-view window.

She rubbed her temples, pulling out a goblet and drinking deep of the blood inside, and responded in record time with a snapping tone, "I **loathe **it. In the golden years, I could always find some entertainment. Burning the house of an accused traitor, slaughtering my enemies and bathing in the blood of their newborns, there were many an amusement to be had!" she tapped her fingers rapidly against her luscious thigh, her expression one of a dark contempt-filled sneer.

"What do you want to do then, boss?" he asked her, staring at her expression, which her black sunglasses hid mostly, if he was right though, her eyes were burning yellow with anger right about now behind the concealing shades.

"Amuse me! Take me anywhere, the wharf, any place that doesn't reek so much of such contemptable doldrums!"

"Can do, boss." He continued driving, Horace peeking over at her as she huffed in frustration. Now trapped within the quagmire that she called her internal musings. Boredom forced her to gain introspection, a terrible thing for a feline as introspection only brought more languid thoughts and then she was trapped in a sticky molasses from which only amusement could save her.

The Canopy Kingdom was just one of many hundreds of kingdoms built over the millennia she had walked the earth. Each one, she had found, had just a few things worth admiring about it. She had absorbed and collected memorabilia from every era and culture that she could, always and only accompanied by her true friend and only beloved. Herself.

Within the flesh and blood shell that she wore, Sekhmet felt a degree of annoyance at the scenery. The same old streets, dreary rain and boring people. Oh, look. A few new souls had come to the kingdom. Her eyes tracked their movements like the bored stare of a feline, annoyance fading when for the first time in forever, she saw something new.

"Worthless, useless, ugly, fat, whorish, disgusting, arrogant, impolite, spiteful, ancient, bratty, **parasite, **drunkard, drug addict, opiate filth." She listed off the figures on the street, going one by one and letting her scorn wash over her viewing of the teeming masses.

"Aww…shit. There she goes again Horace… We'll never hear her stop now." Albus turned on the radio, letting smooth jazz play over them as Eliza engaged in her beloved past-time of cruel commentary.

The many denizens of New Meridian would balk at going to another concert of hers or participating in her blood-drives if they knew her unbelievable hate for the bulk of them. Thankfully, she never voiced these thoughts in person.

"Useless, arrogant, nobility, disgusting, wretched soul, and…hm?" she paused, actually stopping for once as she paid attention now.

A blond man wearing the garb of a detective walked past her, traveling with none less than the kingdom's princess and her trusted warriors. They were heading to the wharf, it seemed. Amused by where she recognized the former, she placed a hand to her chin, content to stare at him in interest.

"Do you two see him? To your left." She told her servants.

Horace pulled out a picture from his breast pocket and adjusted his glasses, "Yes, ma'am. That's the man the Medici contacted us about. It seems he's getting too deep into their business now that the Skullgirl is after them."

"Heh, you sure we can't sit this one out?" Albus smirked ferally.

"Well, he is a fine specimen." Eliza commented softly and pulled a folder next to her seat which read the data she needed, "Uzumaki Naruto. Age: 25. Occupation: Private Eye. In service to Princess Parasoul of the Canopy Kingdom. So, he's the one who found that darling little makeshift Skullgirl, is he not? Well, I can see where even a princess might find him interesting~."

She admired his appearance, licking her lips slowly. The man had a noted love of jazz and was a known figure among lounge clubs when off work or free of a case. Sadly, he had never came to one of 'her' songs. A travesty she hoped to overcome in the future. He was quite a handsome sight, after all. Opening her window, she inhaled deeply to pick his scent from the rest, making her nearly purr in bliss.

"Shall we go after him, milady? You always seem to find more enjoyment at the edge of battle on these kinds of days." Her bird-headed servant, Horace, asked as she opened a closed eyelid, giving him a nod as he adjusted the rear-view window.

"No, not yet... He needs to marinate as a fine wine." She replied with a smile as she leaned back.

"So we keep a close eye on him, then. Just like ordered." Albus replied.

"Yes, please. I will grow ever more frustrated if he does not prove a challenge for this hunger, and when I get frustrated; **she comes out to play.**" Her voice gained a dark echo, the skin over her cheeks peeling back revealing a ghoulish skeleton leering at them.

"Right. Sekhmet will get feisty, so Horace, I'm thinkin' we get some hamburgers tonight," Albus was far too used to his boss and her terrifying nature, so he took it in stride as he talked with Horace mid-driving.

"Hamburgers? We've had hamburgers yesterday, and the day before, and the one before that! Albus, I'm getting much too bulky from all the red-meat! Why don't we go for fish this time? The mistress would certainly enjoy something other than beef."

Horace and Albus argued the semantics over dinner, Albus growling at his more intellectual partner, "I hate fish! Why do you always want stinking fish!? The ocean is disgusting, filled with trash, and smells of salt! We're having burgers dammit!"

"I will not indulge this unhealthiness! Why can't we enjoy pizza instead?!" Her eyes roamed over the front of the car, listening to this argument at least provided her with _some _amusement.

Rubbing her temple in frustration when she realized they weren't intimidated anymore by her; she caught another scent on the wind. Her eyes widened behind their sunglasses, a wide smile playing across her beautiful face when she recognized _'that'_ scent!

"Oho? Samson, my dearest Samson, what troubles you to go to that place, hm?" She asked herself with a dark little chuckle, licking her ruby red lips, "Horace, darling? Give me a pen and paper." She said, the bird-headed man handing both his own personal writing quill and a sheet of paper at hand.

"Sure, ma'am."

She began writing...using her own blood by stabbing the quill into a finger, "What to tell this handsome detective, hm~? Bringing him to my parlor is the desired end-goal, but, playing with him a bit might be enjoyable, ohoho~!" she had a very arrogant laugh, one that demanded others listen to it.

She let their words roll over her as she wrote her letter, one hand extended before a bubble of blood slowly lifted over it, expanding until it formed a balloon in size and shape. Tying the balloon onto the letter, she looked around, spying both a basket and a bottle of unopened wine. Gifts from an adoring fan. She'd normally keep the bottle and the basket, but as she eyed the liquor, she gave a great heave of frustration.

"White. Of course. I hate white wine," she grumbled, it did look pricy and delicious, but it was not what she enjoyed drinking, "Well, here's hoping he has a fine palette or can gift it to someone who does like it more."

Looking around once more, she found a poster of hers laying among a stack of them, Albus was going to plaster them over her newest venue, but hadn't found the time yet. After taking a moment to appraise her visage with a certain level of vanity she got back to business, licking her lips she placed the poster into the basket to let her target of interest know who sent him the letter. Next, she put the letter in the basket under the wine bottle, and then let it exit the window. Admiring its floating movements, she blew it a kiss.

"Au revoir, mon petit chéri~! Let the game officially **begin! **Horus, Albus~! I wish to go home now. We'll await Detective Uzumaki at my mansion~!" she said playfully, both good mood and humor restored in full.

"Right away, boss." Albus drove off, leaving her alone with her thoughts once more.

Her animal-headed servants returned to arguing as she turned to plotting.

X-X-X-X-X

They walked towards the graveyard. The desolate mass of graves possessed a biting cold breeze, the severity of which forced Filia to clap a hand to Samson, otherwise his tongue would trail out and flop in the wind. Not for the first time she wondered if Naruto could control the wind around them. She knew his mastery over the element was integral to his fighting style. But to affect the entire wind, the gusts around them, every last puff of air, that was an incredible feat.

Not a single Parasite or supernatural entity Samson had told her about when drunk enough to loosen his mouth possessed the exact same characteristics that Naruto did. Wind was a very esoteric element, fire and lightning, even blades and guns, made sense. Most Parasites affected the body, and the Living Weapon's she had heard of all had very specific powers and uses.

Samson had only rattled off random examples, stuff he heard about over the centuries. A line of Living Weapon umbrella's owned by none other than the Princess herself, Vice Versa which was owned by Cerebella, a whip that could change rigidity and grow multiple heads, all of them were supposedly accounted for. When she had thought that the wind would bother her, the breeze quietly died down after Naruto turned a blue eye to her in concern. Her smile made his frown turn back to a proper grin, the two having a silent conversation as she hugged his arm tightly.

She was immensely grateful for everything he did for her. Her heart and soul's loyalty had been stolen by him, and she truly wanted to be with him when she graduated. Her face turned a bright red at the wider implication of that thought and thus she buried her face into his strong back. He was unaware of her feelings, mostly due to being focused on the task at hand.

The wind picked up and blew a few overgrown weeds from the graves around them, the weeds were left scattering in a fall gust that sent them flying into the air and the distance. Orange, red, yellow danced around his body in dizzying patterns. With a step forward the tumbling leavers were sent flying, pointing at the entrance to the whole affair.

"Is that it?" She asked him.

He flashed her a more confident grin than usual, "That's the one. New Meridian's Graveyard. Specifically, the one reserved for the rich, famous, and influential."

"How in the Hell are you licensed to grave-rob?" Samson had to be the one to ask that. Filia tightened her eyes, knowing that by now he was just riling up the detective or trying to get information out of him on purpose rather than just disliking and suspecting him.

"I'm not, which is why this stays between us and these guys..." he chortled nervously, "And I'd rather not do this ever again. Once was enough."

Filia blinked, "Mr. Detective...dare I ask?"

"A lead to a man's most cherished missing woman brought me here at night... I've regretted it ever since." He gulped yet kept his smile in place.

"Heh, you afraid of ghosts or something?" Samson asked with a guffaw at the blond man's nervousness.

"I'm not, just...cautious about something I heard and saw." He started, "Ever heard of the singing tomb? Oh, it is real, I saw it not long ago." He started and walked forward, keeping his smile with some visible if faint effort, "On that night, I thought the legends to be part of a game to tell who's chicken. Then, I got a call to come here from a source. As I went deeper and deeper, I heard a diva's song, like a mermaid, the true siren melody... It was so beautiful it just drove me forward to a grave. However, I could never find a singer. Now, I didn't think it was a ghost right away, until I looked around and found no one. And, as the song kept going, the more I realized...it was coming from the ground."

"Ah! No! No, no, no, no!" Filia yelped, covering her ears, "Please, stop it, that's enough of a horror tale!"

"I wish I was making it up..." Naruto replied with a slight twitch. "After I found my clue, I booked it out."

"The undead…egh…think it was thanks to the Skullgirl?" Samson asked with a more serious tone, as the wind howled mournfully, Naruto stared into the distance.

"It's possible whatever sang rose up thanks to that girl. Not like they would have a choice, but…it's different. No mere ghoul could sing such a beautiful melody." He explained, shaking his head sadly.

"Whoever they were in life, they were probably someone with a truly pure heart." He told Filia as they walked together, the autumn wind whispering sad words into their ears. Faintly, as if from a memory, they could understand just a little more the sad story these graves told.

"Death is a terrible part of life, sadly." He stopped in front of a grave, grimacing as he brushed some weeds from it, carefully cleaning it and making it shine once more. It was a beautiful marker, a woman with hands clasped in prayer, an angel above them, and a single name that made his lips fade into a sad little grin.

"Who...?" Filia started and he replied softly.

"Sienna Contiello. One sad story in a world full of them, fourteen years old, and cut short before she could give this world more radiance than it knew what to do with…" he said, staring at the gravestone with Filia. She clutched his hand while his other pulled his hat down.

"What happened…?" she dared to ask him.

He turned his head with a bitter smile, "The same thing that happens to anyone who crosses the Medici. She and her family got slaughtered down to the last man, woman, and child. A career that just begun to turn gold cut short. Like a tree toppling down in the empty forest, nobody there to hear it."

Gasping, Filia felt tears come to her eyes, staring at the grave with a sympathetic gaze that turned more determined. The Medici were next to go. So, no one would ever have to suffer again, not like Sienna had.

He continued softly, clutching Filia's hand tightly, "I own her records. Small time stuff. A couple of songs, a single jazz solo, and the most beautiful singing in an opera I've ever heard. Things she had done herself. Every time they ended; she gave this cute little laugh. Happy as could be, she wanted the records to show her progress." Tilting his head up, he looked at the cloudless sky, "I wish she had lived. Just so her star would've shined like it was meant to. Really would've liked to meet her at least once."

"That, my good sirrah, is a matter that can be arranged." A well-spoken aristocratic tone froze their spines solid. Chills ran down their backs, as one unified whole, the two slowly tilted their heads with wide eyes.

Nobody was there, which only stirred their paranoia. For once, the wind didn't dare blow beyond a mournful breeze, Naruto sniffed the air just to make sure but all he heard was the sad wailing of the wind and all he could smell was the stench of the grave.

Behind a mausoleum, a figure hidden in the darkness clutched something in her hand, a finger to her lips. When she removed it, the thing she held in her hands looked to the side, as if it too was alive. Placing a hand to brace themselves, they leaned against the wall, clutching a newspaper in their other hand with a bitter stare at it.

It showed an image of the detective himself with his back turned, the headline read, "Incredible story! Deadbeat detective not so dead after all? Missing girl from Maplecrest found! Turn to page four!"

"Milady…surely you can meet him, at least?"

"…no. I can't…Leviathan, look at me…look at us." The moonlight slowly moved over them, bringing their shapely form into full view.

She could be described as beautiful, if one was to ignore her being a corpse reanimated by the Skullgirl. She possessed blue skin, the skin of a zombie, with a missing eye covered by her blue hair, worn in a pair of girlish pigtails. Her lips were sewn shut, able to move despite that and let her voice be heard. A red corset hugged an already slim figure as over her meager breasts was a skull worn as an ornament. One had was covered in blue flesh, the other only bone. Covering her arms were red and white striped wearable sleeves complete with tattered cuffs hiding her hands. Hiding her very sizable and most impressive behind was a blue gown. To complete her appearance, she wore a pair of red high heels and a black collar over her neck.

As for her partner, he was quite unique as well. Poking out a hole through her head, was a long, bony serpent with yellow eyes. He was her Parasite.

"Milady, you…" Leviathan coiled around her as she closed her one good red eye with a painful shudder.

"I'm a corpse. I would've been the Skullgirl's newest ally, like the all other undead, were it not for you. You know how everyone out there looks upon things like me. Zombies." She stared at a muddy puddle on the ground, her distorted reflection looking ghastly and warped from her viewpoint.

"Surely, they would accept you, milady, being alone like this when we could have allies, don't you think it'd be better if-" She clenched her eye shut and banged her fist quietly against the stone wall behind her.

Silenced, Leviathan looked upon his master's body, his yellow eyes downcast with sympathetic concern and grief. She was the very picture of despair, walking off down the path from the mausoleum, she was heading towards a distant grave with her expression one of heartbroken sorrow.

"N-N-Naruto…who was that w-w-who spoke?" Filia's throat bobbed up and down as she swallowed, even Samson was afraid or at least looked like he was before he tried to play it cool.

"I don't know Filia-chan. Might've just been the wind, for all we know." The detective held a hand over his beating heart, unwilling to let the terror of the situation get to him. When he turned around, as did she, they both looked surprised, "Hello? What's this, then?" he asked, noticing a shadow in the moonlight wafting towards them.

Aloft in the wind, floated a strange balloon with a small basket.

"It's...for you?" Filia asked.

"Would you believe this is the first time I get a gift like this?" he asked with a rare look of perplexed expression.

The basket landed at their feet. When he opened it up, there was a small bottle of wine which he picked up, looking at it, a small cup inside, and a poster as well as a letter. It was of Eliza herself. When he opened the letter, everyone gasped at what was written in colorful calligraphy writing.

"What's it say, private dick!? Come on, we're on pins and needles here!" Samson urged him.

"Alright, it reads as follow... If you want to find Sekhmet, meet me. You've already started on the path to uncovering who she is, why not learn from someone who knows firsthand~?" the ~ was marked as a musical note, something that brought a grin to Naruto's face.

"What's the plan then, private dick?" Samson asked.

"I'll fill you in on the way to where Sekhmet is, that clue Eliza left for us to meet her with is valid. For now, let's head out." He flipped his hat back on, throwing back his coat while loosening his tie. He clutched in his pocket the poster, having checked it. It came with a small set of directions written on it. With no other leads besides the one Cerebella had given him and that note, he chose to follow this last lead.

All three were unaware of how the letter and the balloon pulled together, each of the two merging into a single connected snake-like puddle of blood, it begun slithering through the darkness ahead of them. Reaching a position before they had even gotten as far as the entrance, it shuddered before a bloody hand pulled its way out of the puddle.

A second hand did the same, a humanoid shape resembling its masters own body standing up and shaking its head about.

From her position in her limousine, Eliza leaned back, her lips pulled back in a massive distorted leering smile, "And so, it begins. Enjoy it Detective Naruto~!"

Chuckling darkly, Albus grinned himself, driving the car, Horace tilted his head as if in amusement. Finding the whole situation funny was just a sign that in their own ways, the two were as twisted as their boss.

His good mood slowly begun to ebb out, as did the duo at his side. Atop a hill, just bordering the graveyard, stood a silent figure. Their features were wrapped in darkness, and even with his impossibly good night vision, he couldn't make out a single feature.

It was to his astonishment he realized they didn't have any. They were a living shadow made of shifting, bubbling, murky copper colored blood. He could vaguely see that they were female in shape and size, but other than that little else. He could sense nothing material or physical underneath all that blood, for all intents and purposes, it was a blood elemental and little else.

"The hell are you?" he stepped forward, the wind murmured a warning to him as he inhaled the night air with a mighty breath. "You're not human or created by human hands. Something altogether too mortal and not at the same time."

He was understandably wary as the figure approached them, forming both its arms into a pair of ankhs.

Filia swallowed as she felt Samson tense up tightly behind her, "I think they're here for a fight Naru- Mr. Detective." Filia told him, correcting herself on reflex even though she had said his name in full just a bit ago due to the fear overwhelming her normal restraint and propriety, he cracked his knuckles, fishing out the knuckle dusters in his pockets and arming himself with both.

"When have I ever ran from a fight?" he asked.

Filia smiled despite the ominous situation, "Never once, Naru- Mr. Detective."

She was growing more confident in how she referred to him, he couldn't help but reach out and touch her shoulder for that, "Filia-chan, don't hold back. We're confronting an important piece of your past tonight. This Eliza character might know something about Samson, and if she does…"

He trailed off when he saw Filia's red eyes tighten in determination, "If she does, I'll face myself, who I once was, and hold my head up with pride. I'm your partner, Mr. Detective…" She trailed off herself, her face turning a bright red until her red eyes widened with determination, she would prove her feelings to him from this moment onwards. "No! Naruto! I'm Samson's friend, and he's yours too! Whatever the future holds, whatever the truth is, I'm me! Filia! And I'll never be weak again! Not as long as I have the people I love close at hand!"

"Good speech, partner, but maybe we should dodge!" Naruto warned her, as the figure had crossed the distance with a loping gait, and slammed both Ankhs into the earth! Twin waves of blood carved the earth into flying chunks, each piece of debris was deflected about when Naruto held out his hand!

A cyclone sucked the rubble up, connecting to his fist before he held out the opposite hand. As the wind howled its fury, his face gained a wild smile. Pulling his hat down until it hid only the blue glint of his eyes, he rotated his hand out in a circle, pushing it forward with his palm outwards.

The cyclone burst forward, sending the rubble back like tommy gun fire! Every shot made the elemental's blood body wobble like jelly, causing zero harm beyond making the body shift about. It wasn't impressed as it crossed its arms with a seemingly cocky posture.

"What the Hell!? Is this thing an illusion!? Are we high!?" Samson asked in confusion while the elemental focused on the private detective and swung an arm in his direction.

"No, this just confirms that it's remote controlled, look!" Naruto shouted as he ran around, a hand on his hat before he jumped over a jet of blood, its highly pressurized crescent moon shape turned it into a blade which cut the ground like it was hot butter.

"What do you me-" Filia asked but had to jump up when another blood blade flew at her.

Before it hit her, a nearby tree rock had been kicked at the blood humanoid before Naruto jumped off to the side. Once again, waves of blood emerged from the ground after it stabbed its ankh-shaped arms on the soil. However, they missed Naruto, going straight for the point where he had kicked the rock!

"That! It's following our moves and attacks! That's why it didn't target you first when I attacked it first!" the blond whiskered man shouted. "Filia-chan, so long as we don't make a move, it won't directly go after us, but-" he clenched his jaw when it smacked its ankhs together as if clapping.

Dozens of droplets of blood encircled it like a doorway, elongating and forming long, deadly blood spikes. Extremely sharp ones which sailed through the air and pierced several tombstones without slowing at all! Naruto was quick to duck to the ground as they flew over him and nailed a tree. The trunk was hit hard and became nothing but splinters in a matter of seconds.

Flipping back several times, the detective swung one arm out between his movements. The grass rippled when he fired a wave of wind so sharp and fast the blades of grass didn't even have time to finish falling as it reached its target! The blood elemental was hit full pelt by the wave, and barely even jiggled when it split in two, then reformed instantaneously.

"Dammit, not even a scratch!" Naruto cursed to himself.

Filia dashed past him, leapt skywards, tilted her body midair and swung her leg down, Samson enveloping it and forming an axe-blade that split their enemy in two! The two halves each moved in unison, swinging their ankh arms in brutal clubbing strikes. Filia was forced back alongside Naruto, the two stepping together as their enemy approached them rapidly.

Holding a leg out, the private eye threw it out in a brutal roundhouse, a further wave of wind blowing the blood-doll back. Every piece shot out an uncountable number of tendrils that pulled each half together with a slurp, reminding him of a horror movie he caught in theaters once. The bleeding entity held out both hands in a come-hither gesture, clearly taunting them as its ankh-arms formed into normal ones.

That lasted about as long as its patience did when the two stood their ground warily, morphing both arms into a pair of wings. It soared forward! Nearly cutting the two apart with the razor-sharp appendages, the blood abomination wind-milled both arms around, each swaying slash nearly slicing the two into sashimi.

"Enough! Go to hell and stay there, you damn freak!" Naruto had clearly had enough, holding out a hand, a swirling sphere started to form on it, "_**Rasengan…!**"_

Filia was inspired as well, holding out her hand, Samson rotated around and encircled her hand in a similar spinning sphere, this one made out of hair rather than wind and energy!

"**_Duet_!**" The two announced as one, sending their palms hurtling forward and into the bloody monster!

It splattered all over the graveyard, blood flying into the air and coating the ground in a crimson layer. Content to turn his back and focus on getting his partner and himself out of the graveyard, Naruto realized it was a bad idea when the back of his neck prickled.

Turning around, Filia's eyes widened first, her finger shaking unsteadily and pointing at the sight in front of them, "T-t-t-that can't be…it shouldn't be…!"

The blood pieces were pulling themselves together inch by inch, reforming the elemental!

"This thing's not relentless, it's a nightmare." Naruto growled and held his hat with a hand. "But, if we're not doing any damage to it, whatever weak point it has must be somewhere..."

Filia turned to him with slight hope, "Do you know what it is?"

"Unfortunately, no, but it's the one thing we have for certain." Naruto said seriously. "Something like this monster ought to have been created by someone. And that gift basket was too good to be true. I'll bet dollars to donuts...or however the saying goes, that it's master can't take a hit and can't be far off."

"Didn't you say it was remotely controlled, private dick?" Samson asked while his user and the detective slid a foot back when seeing the elemental reform itself fully and turn to them.

"Yeah, but that blood can't be limitless." Naruto said. "So, there are two options. One, the master is at least hidden or spying on us from a distance while giving this monster so much blood. Two, and this one bites...the user has unlimited range, but so long as we keep this thing away from blood, it won't get us or last long."

"You mean..." Filia started and he nodded.

"No shame in retreat, leg it!" he shouted and started to run. "Look for the master, anything or anyone who's suspicious! If they're not here, we can lose it once it runs out of blood!"

"Good plan, it sucks, but it's still good!" Samson nearly cheered.

"You're the eyes on the back of our heads, literally! So, keep an eye on it!" Naruto told the parasite as they heard it slithering towards them.

"Jump!" Samson said and they did as he said, leaping over a hedge.

However, just as Naruto suspected, the group was being watched from outside the cemetery.

Inside her car with a pair of elegant gold binoculars one would use for opera but with a hawk motif, Eliza watched the show with a mirthfully sadistic smile, "Oh, now this is entertainment." She let out a laugh as she extended a hand, Horace shaking a drink for her with an Egyptian urn shaped drink mixer while Albus fetched her a blood pack kept fresh in her limousine's fridge.

"Ma'am, if you don't mind my boldness, what made you send that thing to them?" Horace asked while he poured her a perfect martini in a large wineglass designed to look like an inverted pyramid.

"Yeah, it takes a lot of blood and it's so mindless you'd be better off fighting them yourself." Albus said while pouring the pack of AB blood into her wineglass, filling it to the brim.

"Boys, if there's something I've learnt is to always leave my competition breathless." She smirked and took a sip of her bloody martini, "Once they've tired themselves, I can calmly step in for a little...bite." She lifted her binoculars up, licking her lips in anticipation of the coming event.

Naruto leaped onto a gravestone, one leg spinning out as he perfectly balanced himself atop the curved stone. A vertical wind wave echoed out and split the ground in two. The ravine he created blocked their persistent chaser's progress for about a moment.

He panted inwards, sighing as he sat down on top of the gravestone. His arm shot out and hooked around FIlia's meaty waist. Pulling her onto his lap, her face went a brilliant red until he placed his hands on her shoulders and gripped them.

"Calm yourself. It senses us by the pace of our heart, if we calm down, we can get it to lose track of us." He warned her.

Samson placed his hairy tendrils on her thighs to reassure her. Inhaling then exhaling in slow shallow movements, Filia calmed her breathing even though she was literally in a place that would bring her to heaven and back. If she let it.

"…Okay, I'm calm," she stared at the slithering elemental as it poked its slender head out of the ravine flicking its head from side to side, much like a snake.

Eliza from where she was bit her thumb in excitement, "Very well-done, Detective Naruto and Samson~! You two are doing exceedingly well, never mind the unfortunate critter you call a host, but that's not the only trick my ABBA OD has power over~! You think if you control your heart-rate you're safe? Tsk tsk…"

Wiggling her fingers about, her grin became practically demonic when she clenched her fist. Assuming direct control over it for a split second, she simply adjusted how it could search out prey. It had two modes. Heart-rate and heat-source. Heart-rate shifted it into its humanoid mode. Heat-source on the other hand, turned it towards its immaterial mode.

Attacking the warmest source of blood first, it wiggled about, then sent out a spear like tendril towards Naruto! His eyes widening, he performed a feat of split-second reaction that'd impress a master. Throwing Filia skywards, he tilted his body back, using the grip of his knees to throw the gravestone into the air, and kicking off it with both feet. He flew backwards completely flat, a hand clutching his hat tightly against his head as he watched the blood-jet pierce the tombstone and rip a hole through several more.

Landing on the ground, Samson transformed into a pair of wings, enabling Filia to glide smoothly away and land on the ground near where Naruto was skidding, pulling himself out of a crouch with a narrowed glare, "What the hell you private dick!? We nearly got a nice little hole through both our chests! Did you get it wrong!?" the parasite asked, Filia biting her lip so hard it bled to control her own heart-rate.

The PI turned his head over to his partner, telling them both with as much calm as he could muster, "I didn't. It must have a second power, something that lets it hunt differently. It changed forms and attacked me first, maybe…" he felt himself sweat and had a realization, "It has to do with heat? I'm warmer than either of you two due to how much I'm wearing and a…second factor, the source of my red energy."

"A demon." Samson said smoothly, it took a split second for Naruto and Filia to blink at that. Growling, the parasite explained to them with a frustrated tone, "It's the only answer that makes sense as to how you can go scary-monster mode without hesitation. Kid, he's got a demon sealed in him. A really, really fuckoff powerful one by my guess. Don't act so shocked or surprised, you idiot, I've been around too long; humans have done crazier shit than try and contain a demon inside yourselves."

Deep inside of Naruto's mind, his own partner gave a deep throaty chuckle, "**Naruto, I like this one! Ahahaha!**"

"Ah. So that explains the casino and the fight with Valentine to save Carol! Naruto, I'm so happy to know even more about you! Everything you have to show me; I want to know!" Filia's words brought his turbulent heart to a stand-still due to how heartfelt Filia was as she confessed her feelings for him, or at least some part of them. "T-that's…that is…That is! Because you're important to me! The ones I care for the most in this world, you, Carol, and Samson mean everything to me!" Filia told him, even as she stuck a few feet away from him.

The two needed to keep their distance from each as the elemental slithered out of the ravine it had been formally contained in. Rubbing his temples to stave off the headache, Naruto nodded. Filia took it so well it would've been alarming, until he realized that she had seen far worse and she herself was a host to a monster that composed her hair. Filia hating him or changing her opinion on him because of the demon was so far-fetched as to be insane.

But they could focus on that detail later, the monstrous elemental in front of them had shifted into a form resembling an amorphous blob with many wiggling tendrils. Each tentacle possessed a single engorged bulb at the end, these were darker shades than the tendrils that contained them, worse they glowed. And the meaning of that was clear as they searched about and located him instantly.

And then, a question, "Wait, what's it doing now?" Filia asked as she turned to the elemental.

It remained still as it seemed to be struggling to move forward, "If heartbeats and heat are its only way to identify an enemy, then we're the ones best prepared to deal with this abomination."

A female voice startled the trio, Naruto's head twisted about, Filia gasping when Samson alerted her, "Kid! The ones behind us, they're undead! No, wait…Leviathan!?"

His shocked tone only brought Filia's head to look around, the two partners gaping as they saw a taciturn figure approaching them both. Squigly held both her hands into fists, the bony fist cracking from the anger she felt at this situation. Both at being forced to reveal herself, and because of the cruelty inherent in sending such a twisted creature after the three in front of her.

"A zombie? But in control of herself…" Naruto was the most able to take this situation in stride, his blue eyes widened as a memory flashed through his mind. A blond man with a coat among many others, all with cracks over their bodies from their resurrection. His expression turned introspective as he recalled the memory.

"The Skullgirl would've made me one of her own too, were it not for Leviathan." She indicated the wiggling parasite sticking out of her head as she approached the elemental, which seemed to have absolutely no idea she was there.

From her vantage point, Eliza spat out a mouthful of blood, her eyes widening behind her binoculars. Her eyes shifted to yellow on black, her cheeks tearing apart at the seams at this incredibly unexpected twist.

"_**What?! Noo…! No! NO! NOO! BULL DUNG! BULL DUNG! BULL DUNG! Alright! Alright, **_**alright**._"_

Sekhmet brought a bony fist onto the car seat, her body sloughing off her. Taking direct control would benefit her, but also alarm them to her position. Forced to continue watching this, she calmed herself down through years of discipline and control. Leaning back as her skin reformed, Eliza groaned in frustration, her head leaning back against the car-seat. Albus turned on smooth jazz from the radio to calm her down, looking at Horace who sighed himself.

"Well, it was a fun show while it lasted. Let's just use this surprise as a way to study our enemies, does that sound good, boss?" Horace asked her.

With a tired motion, she waved a hand in response, Eliza forcing herself to continue watching. Even though she was blindingly furious with the situation, she had no choice. The new twist would have to be examined, and hopefully she could glean some way of understanding this undead wretch.

"I can't risk myself with this detective if he's as strong as Lorenzo says... Tsk, I'll wear him out in other ways." She wasn't content with that but had no other choice.

Squigly walked forward without hesitation, her red eye closing then opening with an enraged glow trapped inside, "I didn't want to show myself, but you three were fighting so hard and could've died at any time. If I stuck back and let you die, then I'd be just as bad as the ones who killed me. What makes or breaks someone, is if they're willing to extend a hand to help another!"

She held her hands in front of her, her sewed shut lips letting loose an incredible siren's melody. With her eye-closed, she was able to hit the right harmony. The sonic waves rang out like the peal of a bell, tearing apart the ground with every cry she made from force and volume alone.

"Just as I remember, she's still got an angel's voice!" Naruto chortled as he held his hat from the gales of wind her attack blew, making his jacket and Filia's minuscule skirt flap.

"It's breathtaking, and quite terrifying." The schoolgirl blushed as she pushed down her skirt to not show any glimpse of her new pink laced panties.

The blood-abomination had no ability to defend itself or sense her presence as her voice blew it apart. Each step that had her get closer caused the effect her voice had on the entity to grow stronger until the moment when she was right up against it, her voice blew it into a thousand fragments!

Squigly's single functioning eye opened from its closed position. Looking around, she noticed how the blood pieces were struggling to pull themselves together. Clasping both hands as one, she looked up at Leviathan who nodded at her.

His mouth bulged after he took a deep breath when he let loose a purple blaze of heat and energy. It burnt the remaining fragments into little more than boiling bubbles. With that final action, the bloody pieces disappeared in a fine mist, Leviathan turning around as did Squigly.

The response she got from Naruto and Filia shocked her down to her core, "Sienna Contiello…As I live and breathe, I never expected to meet my idol in the flesh…figuratively speaking, heh." The detective gave her a tired grin, Filia looking at her more warily until he nudged her shoulder with a gentle nod.

She took in Squigly in her entirety, trying to put aside the natural prejudice she had towards the undead was hard, harder because of the fact that she was brought about due to the Skullgirl. New Meridian's had a lot of hang-ups when the undead came out. But when she noticed how silent Samson was, letting her come to odds with the situation on her own terms, and how even Naruto was losing his wariness the more he looked at her, Filia let loose a breath she didn't even she had been holding.

"You're just like me, aren't you? A parasite holder?" she tried to find a common ground with the undead. When she saw that Leviathan nodded his head, his partner silent, she found an uneasy smile on her face, "I-I can't say this isn't a bit new to me… You're an undead, after all, but if Carol could come back…"

Her reluctant and slightly scared tone faded away at the memory that Carol had suffered two artificial parasites, Skullgirl blood, and more done to her, and yet still became who she always was on the inside again.

If she could accept Carol and Naruto without hesitation or second-thought, then she would accept the girl in front of her, even if she was undead, because if someone with an expression like hers, scared and broken from being alone was in front of her… She would always extend her hand out to them.

Naruto smiled thankfully at the zombie girl, "I think she gets it, Filia-chan." Squigly looked up at the trio, Naruto extending his own hand to her, just as the clouds blocking the moon moved out, allowing for the beams to illuminate them like a spotlight was on their bodies.

"Ah, you two accept me…then?" she asked, her own timidity bringing a faint dark blue blush on her face.

"Well, if my partner does, so do I. And especially more so if Samson does, because he doesn't trust or like anyone except Filia."

The parasite formed a hand and slapped the back of Naruto's head, his host tugging on him playfully to reprimand him, "Shaddup. I'm not that bad of a guy. Anyways, Leviathan, so this is Sienna?"

He asked the dragon-like parasite, who opened his mouth, about to speak until the girl spoke for herself, "Squigly."

"Squigly?" The trio parroted it.

She nodded in response, "Squigly. It's my name now. Sienna Contiello is dead. And has been dead for fourteen years now. And well, it was a nickname from my past…my mother, she called me that. As does Leviathan at times."

"So then, Squigly, not Sienna, you sure? I'd be honored to call you by your rightful identity." Naruto said.

Reaffirming that position, she looked at him with a genuine look of gratitude but shook her head with a soft smile, "Thank you, but no. I'm fine with just Squigly for now. What was that thing that attacked you? Leviathan, do you know?" she asked the wiggling serpent coming from her head.

He looked inwards, wracking his brain to figure out what brought it to them, until Samson interjected, "Only Sekhmet, that fucking bitch, has the power to use blood like that. Leviathan, you know that, right?" the serpent looked reluctant to agree, for obvious reasons as the two didn't want to imagine that Sekhmet had endured for centuries like they had.

Leviathan spoke apologetically, "I don't want to say yes, but all evidence supports Sekhmet has returned. And once more wishes to begin her planned conquest of all the world, what a bothersome fate we've stumbled into milady Squigly."

The reanimated corpse girl shook her head to show him it was alright, "Do you want- can I, well…Can I help you find the truth?" she asked Naruto, who had been watching the situation silently and looking around to see if he could spy the user of the thing that attacked them somewhere.

"The more the merrier, Squigly-chan. You brought that thing down when neither me or my partner could. If I had tried to go all out, I'd have just endangered everyone around me." Filia nodded, giving Squigly a happy look now that she wasn't scared anymore.

"I'm so glad to meet you, Sien…Ahem, Squigly! You're just like me, a Parasite user, and so pretty too!" after she corrected herself, she admired Squigly's features, even though the rot of the grave her beauty and kindness shone through without stopping.

Squigly's eye closed, her face lit up like a Christmas tree, and she let loose the tinkling of bells in her happy giggle, "Thank you both! You both have no idea how happy I am! Leviathan, I'm no longer without other friends!"

Their immediate reactions brought her low with surprise. Naturally, the two held their hands to their hearts, their faces blushing bright red in unison, "C-c-c-c-cute!"

Filia stammered out, hiding her face in her hands, the detective pulled his hat over his face to hide his own burning red blush, "You're an S-rank in threat Squigly. S-rank cuteness that is…damn."

Groaning, Samson facepalmed himself, Leviathan chuckling at his fellow, "Uuugh. This sappy shit is gonna give me an ulcer…!"

"Now, now. Samson, they are our partners. And they deserve to have some happiness, don't they?" Leviathan smiled, until he heard Samson muttering something so softly that only Naruto would catch it if he wasn't occupied at the moment.

"Just wait until the kid and the private dick get in bed together…then you'll hear me complain…!"

"SAMSON!" Leviathan shouted loud enough to wake the dead that weren't already up and about already, his expression one of affronted fury and a tick mark bulging over his head, "You should not so be crass in front of ladies!"

"SHUT IT! I SURE AS SHIT DON'T SEE ANY LADIES, MAYBE A PUFFED-UP PANSYASS WORM THOUGH!" the two parasites argued,

"P-p-uffed up!? You vulgar, savage, rude, disgusting, crass, foul-mouthed, imbecilic, fool! You will watch your mouth in front of young maidens! They need not hear your crude remarks and curses!"

Squigly and FIlia looked at each other and shrugged with matching giggles. Pulling his hat down, Naruto allowed his usual tired grin to get more pep and energy into it.

"Now this party is getting started…" he looked at the poster in his hand, noting that it had a set of directions written upon it.

Eliza was waiting for them, it seemed.

And she was far from happy, "To think they'd have someone that strong. Alas, we saw at least a glimpse of that detective's power." She said while Albus drove off and away from the odd group of five.

"Shall we make preparations for another round of trouble for them?" Horace asked, picking the limo's phone.

"Yes, we can't let him know any rest if I am to sample his blood and get Samson back to his true glory." She said and licked her lips. "Wonder if that Life Gem thief would be a good way to make sure his supply lasts me for eternity."

The grin she had at the thought was positively pants-wetting. For her two helpers, it didn't faze them anymore.


	8. Shoot Him Down

I do not own Naruto which is owned by Masashi Kishimoto (unfortunately), Skullgirls by Lab Zero Games, or any jazz songs, they're all owned by their respective owners.

This is the one time I'll apologize. I had a massive series of anxiety attacks the past week combined with a horrific amount of insomnia due to stress about real life and the future worrying me. I have mostly overcame this by now, but it was very worrisome the past week. I missed my deadline, and next week will be better I promise. Thank you for your patience.

**Bold for demon speech, Painwheel speech, or similar characters talking.**

_**Bold and Italic for attack names.**_

_Italic for thoughts and flashbacks_

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Heritage to the Future OST- Dio.

Jubilation- Gavin Luke.

Bounce-Gavin Luke.

Oscar Peterson- C Jam Blues.

Iasis- Φυγή / Escape.

X-X-X-X-X

Naruto's clone hadn't been idle and had made due on his desire to go meet with Minette.

"Minette-chan! I'm back!"

"Naruto, good to- What!?"

The fish girl gaped at the sight of the red-haired princess walking behind the blond with her small army. If it were anyone else but Naruto, she wouldn't have believed anyone else to bring her there.

"Yeah, I brought friends." He had a lazy smile while rubbing the back of his head with a hand.

"What's cooking?" Umbrella asked, perched on the detective's back.

"More importantly..." Parasoul narrowed her eyes, "I know who you are. To think you'd be working here and also helping someone like Nadia Fortune... My sources need to upgrade their network." She said cool and collected, but there was something that put Naruto on edge.

"Back it up, what am I missing?" he asked confusedly.

The redhead's visible eye widened, "You don't know who Nadia Fortune is!?"

Scratching his cheek with a finger and a sheepish smile, he answered with a question, "A good friend and practical bodyguard of Dagonians in the area?"

For a brief second her expression turned furious," You cannot be joking with me! You know who she is, do you not!? Answer me or I will revoke your license!"

Stepping back, her detective gave her a truly shaken expression, his eyes weakened slightly at her harsh tone, "Sorry Princess. I really don't know what you mean. Nadia's just Nadia to me, what did she do?"

Parasoul stared at him, taking in his words as she pinched the bridge of her brow. Her head was pulsing, and she could feel a migraine. Her hand moved out and crooked a finger. A Black Egret immediately fetched a glass of cold water and dropped a tablet into it. She took the offered headache medicine and downed the whole thing in a single gulp.

Umbrella got off of his back, looking from her stern looking sister to the blond detective whose exhausted expression grew just that much more tired, "Naruto...sis..."

One hand was placed on her living weapon, Krieg as she debated on what to do. Her lips curled downwards as the atmosphere grow incredibly tense. So tense one could cut it with a knife and still not come close to getting to the thick of it.

"You have five seconds to explain yourself to me, before I consider my next course of action, make your answer and I'll figure out how to deal with this discretion."

He held his hands up with a worried grimace pulling at his lips, "Let's calm down, okay? You know I'm loyal to you, it's the one good thing you said I've ever been consistent about. I trust Nadia with my life, she was there to help get me on my feet. Whatever she did, it can't be that bad." He explained to the cold princess, who in response moved her lock of hair away from her eye so she could let him see her cold yellow stare lighten just a tad.

"You are correct. I apologize Naruto. I had a lapse of faith in you. You're a treasured subject. Do not forget however that you serve my kingdom, my interests, my people, and myself in order of importance to you." She sighed, she had suspected him for only a moment but the lovable idiot detective that he was wore his heart on his sleeve. Subterfuge or hiding things from her was not something he could do.

"I've never claimed to be anything but that to you, Princess." He said with a respectful if incredibly exhausted tone. The drama that was unfolding about him brought a sad realization to her, she felt sympathetic to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and gripped it firmly yet gently.

"You are a good man. Do not doubt that although shaken, I still believe in your words and honor. Now, explain to me properly. Who is Nadia Fortune to you and why is she your best friend?" She hated to be the biggest bitch in the room, but she had responsibilities beyond her personal feelings for him, and as a princess her duty was to everyone. Not just him.

"Nadia's just Nadia. She's never been anyone but the girl of my dreams, well, next to you of course. Heh." He looked around and gave a light-hearted grin that unintentionally brought a trill to Parasoul's normally frigid cold and locked tight heart. When he wanted to, he could be one of the most dashing gentlemen she had ever seen.

Parasoul kept her composure, "So what do you think the cause of the Medici's ire against her is? You're putting a lot on the line for neither my patience or my…favor of you are infinite." The tone she took reminded him that he was on her payroll. By all rights everything, he did, said, or thought reflected her own status. Private detectives were ruled by their loyalty to the crown princess, and he was one of the most loyal. If not the most loyal. She valued his loyalty to everything about her. From her crown, to her kingdom, to her people, and finally her sister and her comrades. Even in private, her thoughts of him were fonder than she should allow herself to feel.

"Alright boss-lady, I'll tell you what I know, it ain't much but if it's anything that relates to her past, it might have to do with her physiology. Ain't that right, kitty-cat?" he reached down and picked up something that Parasoul had missed entirely.

Too focused on the anxious looking Dagonian and the detective that worked for her to notice something that had remained immobile and quiet until Naruto reached down for it, then it leaped up and landed in his grip. She blinked in shock and mild disgust as Naruto held an actual head in his arms, cradling it gently and with a loving touch that made her lips curl in irritation. And he scratched her between her ears.

"Ah, that's the spot." She mewled in delight.

"You eavesdrop too much." He said with a soft smile, "Any reason you only, pardon the pun, dropped in just now?"

She snickered, "Nothing to pardon, but hey, I gotta keep my tail out of view with my personal fan here."

Parasoul narrowed her only visible eye ever so slightly, "You two are too...casual about what we discussed just now." She expected something more.

Naruto grinned and kept petting to hear more purring, "As I said, I wanna leave the past behind. Besides, she ain't done anything to hurt me."

"And he's had my back for a while, also...what kinda girl would take a guy this trusting for granted?" she had a faint red on her cheeks and not from the ear-scratching. Parasoul pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Unbelievable, you two are unbelievable." The princess said, "Anyway, start your story. Because if he has put this much effort in you, I want to see if this is worthwhile." She released her nose and listened with as much composure as she could.

"It's...nothing I wanted to bother anyone with, it was my own mess, and I have to give the… Well, the people I cared for, some if not a little peace." The cat burglar's body dropped, grabbing her head and looking at the two with a little nostalgia in her feline eyes once it had properly affixed her head back on, "Naruto, that included you, but...I guess I can't leave you out if you trust me."

"Not even a wish to the Skull Heart could keep me from giving you a hand, kitty-cat," she hated the way he said that, it made her spine tingle in a delicious way all the way to the tip of her tail.

"Can you be any more cliché? Eh, private rooster?" she retorted.

"Eh-hem." Parasoul cleared her throat calmly, "I... shall take your words and trust in this woman as proof that she may earn parole. And she can start by aiding us."

"Did you have to ruin the moment?" Nadia asked with her trademark catty grin.

Parasoul's frown paralyzed her with cold fear, "We have more important matters at hand then everyone of us combined. If the safety of this world and its inhabitants is at stake, I shall demand you both to be on your most professional behavior... And I was getting a bit uncomfortable watching such private talk."

Oddly enough, she could be cute and intimidating with her blush and glare, to which the detective could only chortle to himself, "Dully noted, we'll save the drama for when we can rest."

"Alright, so where do you want me to start?" Nadia asked, indicating that wherever Parasoul wanted to begin with was what she'd start with.

"For one. What you truly are, tell him this now." Her words made Nadia's back stiffen as if chilled in ice, her expression one of genuine fear and concern.

"W-what? T-tell him…?" She shook her head rapidly, biting her lip as her hands clenched her arms tightly. The response shocked everyone, most of all Naruto, "I-I can't. I won't. He doesn't need to know that."

Princess Parasoul stared hard at her, taking in every detail about Nadia. Her tail waving quickly, her claws were out, her pupils had diluted, and her muscles were tense. Everything about her from posture to expression indicated that she was one step away from engaging in her flight or fight response. That was how deep this conversation was eating away at her.

"You should tell him the truth, if you truly call yourself someone who cares for him. In both personal matters and in matters dealing with the heart, you will let him know. Nadia Fortune of the Fishbone-"

"Don't! Just don't! Not to him! Not to him, please no… Not to him…" She clapped her hands to her ears, grinding her teeth down to the molars, shaking her head rapidly, even desperately. Tears were starting to form in her eyes, threatening to burst out like a river.

Walking towards her as she curled into a ball, Naruto's expression was hard to read, set in a thin frown. Whatever he was about to do would define the line of this conversation. A long jacket was thrown over her shoulders, when she looked up, she was being held tightly by Naruto. One hand on her dark-skinned back and rubbing the muscular form gently.

"Don't cry like you did when you came to my apartment that night seven years ago ever again. I don't want to see a single tear more from you, alright?" he held her cheek with a softness that only he could have when he wanted to. He placed his forehead against hers, the two sharing in a moment. Their bond as deep and strong as it ever was, made even stronger than before by his words.

"I was…I was a thief. The Fishbone Gang were my family away from you. Every time I came back, they would tease me mercilessly about my favorite guy. They even asked me once or twice when I'd just marry you… h-heh…I…I miss 'em so much Naruto. My family, I wanted so badly to introduce you to them. To let you know who I was. For over ten years since I saved you from that dirty cremation joint, I've wanted you to know me as I truly am…" his arms gripped her tighter.

"Truth be told, I always suspected something or another. I knew you were someone more than just my friend. You paid for my hospital bill. Got me a place to live in before I moved out from Little Innsmouth to New Meridian. Lived with me too. That meant so much more to me, than figuring out what you really did to pay for it all." The two seemed to move with each other, each fresh tear she let loose being soothed by his hand moving over her back.

"N-Naruto…you t-truly...you truly mean that?" she couldn't help but ask, so close to him and yet always so far had been a reality of her life since the day they met. Since the day a stupid little blond had made his way into her life, she had felt love. It was sappy, it was cliché, it was so tired and played out even she had to gag on her hairballs from the feeling.

But for her, the day they met was one of the most important dates in her life.

"Every time you went out, I thought you were off on your 'real job'. Money like the kind you used for my sake, that don't come from a normal occupation. Only a thief could get scores like that. A thief or a Medici, you sure as hell aren't a Mafia girl, you're just Nadia. So, I knew, you were probably a thief." Staring into his eyes, she saw the deep well of love and compassion they had for her. In every meaning of the word, he loved her for what she was to him. "It doesn't matter to me who you were when we met. You've been only one person to me, never changing, and never leaving me behind. Nadia Fortune, Ms. Fortune. You will never be anyone less than that. Don't you cry again, not while I'm at your side."

They were in public and they were being watched, so she didn't have the nerve to kiss him in front of Princess Parasoul. But damn her and the nine lives she had if she didn't want to sear his lips in a kiss for the ages. She got up, a weight off her back in a way that made her heart soar with joy.

Still, she tried to save face as she backed away from him quickly, "You stupid, cliché-spouting, jazz-addled, infuriatingly exhausted detective! D-don't you dare say all of that with such a s-straight face… Or I'll claw your eyes o-out! That's a fact-cat!"

Her usual love of puns was there to lighten the mood a little.

She tried to convince him of her anger to all the sappy dialogue, but the way her eyes misted up and how a smile refused to leave her face indicated she didn't mean it. She truly loved him for all his faults and cheesy lines. He meant them to his core and loved her regardless of her faults, lies, or actions. That meant far more to her.

"I know. Heh! I have you to tell me if I've gotten too sappy or cliché, just do that for me and we're always gold." Cheekily grinning at him, she jabbed his chest with one fist, she put on his jacket and admired how it felt right to wear the long coat.

Almost as if she was meant to wear a trench just like it, "Don't remind me, I'll always knock you back to square one if you get too full of it… Anyways, sorry for all of that Parasoul."

One yellow eye narrowed, "Princess. Parasoul. You are not so close or as trusted to me as to be able to refer to me as anything but my title." Nadia let one arm fall off in a spray of blood, it wiggled onto her back and got a nice scratch going on a bad itch as she yawned.

"Yep, yep, yep, yep… I see that what Naruto always said about you is right. You are business first, I'm feline with that." She cracked her neck, her hand reattaching itself but not before Naruto picked it up. It placed its fingers against his chin, teasing it slightly as he gave it back to her.

"Anyway, the reason why the Medici Mafia are after me, heh. That's easy, it's the same reason I can do all the stuff I can, and why the Fishbone… Why my family are gone." Nadia said with a painful grin, holding a hand up to Naruto to stop him from embracing her again.

Not in front of Princess Parasoul or the Black Egrets, when they were alone, she was going to let him hold her all she wanted. She let the coat open, exposing her abdomen with a sigh, wearing an intense expression at what she was about to do.

"Look at this kitty litter, what they did to me. What that gem did to me." She said to them, her claws popping out and digging into her chest. She slowly begun to peel it back, much to the disgust and horror of everyone watching as she opened her body up.

Naruto's expression became increasingly shocked, then angry, next depressed, and finally just his tired as ever stare. Because as the insides showed, she was far from normal. He had always thought her strange abilities to remove her limbs or head were just something native to her. This took the whole cake and ran with it.

Her blood-veins had become crystalized, blood still flowed but the arteries were hard as a rock, glowing lines flowing about them, her heart had become replaced by nothing less than the Life-gem itself, from which the source of all her power flowed. She wasn't just a catgirl anymore, she was undead down to the last bit of whiskery hair on her.

Rubbing a hand through his hair, Naruto exhaled weakly, "So that's why you…oh for the love of smooth jazz, Nadia…They, those Medici bastards, they tore you to pieces…"

"Me, the whole gang, yep. By that psychopathic monstrous bitch of theirs, Black Dahlia. Cut apart into neat little sushi chunks, then dumped into the waters. For weeks afterwards, I-I couldn't even get into a bath tub without losing it." She let her hands fall down, her flesh sealing up and regenerating without much more ado.

The wind blew a sad melody, the melancholy of her past could've brought a normal man to tears. For Naruto, he had long since stopped shedding any. Staring at the waves of Little Innsmouth's watery locale, Nadia placed her hands in his jacket pockets, while he rubbed his head with an exhausted sigh.

"This has gotten all sorts of miserable, hasn't it Nadia?" he asked Nadia, letting her get closer to him, even Princess Parasoul was brought to silence at the truth of Nadia's existence. The three of them and the Black Egrets stared at the waters gently lapping away. Minette poked her head out from where she had been watching this, her expression one of sad longing and pity.

Nadia spoke to him with a bitter tone, "You and I both know that we didn't get nothin' from anyone but a kick to the whiskers and maybe the occasional kick to the tail for good measure."

The wind picked up, blowing across their bodies and letting Princess Parasoul's hair flow about her as she spoke to them, "You two rose up from nothing to become important to the people around you. Is that not enough for most?"

Nadia flashed her a toothy grin, that had none of her usual cheer or charm, only more sour bitterness, "Not for me or Naruto. We struggled to have anything of value in this crummy town, and when we thought we had it all, like a scratching post toppling down and knocking a book shelf over, we lost it all in a crash. Life sucks and then you die, that's what we all got ahead of us."

She was surprised when he placed a hand on her shoulder, the blond detective staring at the waves as the wind begun to gently howl around them, his usual tired expression gaining a hint of determination, even confidence.

"I'm not going to let that way of life keep going though Nadia. It's time. The boss-lady can acquit you of the past, give you a fresh slate, and more importantly…together, we're going to bring down the Medici Mafia. I'm not letting you hide in the shadows anymore, worrying about me or what'll happen in the next day. Let's bring this whole house of cards falling down on the Medici's heads."

Her face at first had been as bitter as it was before, but as he talked, it gradually regained its wit, its charm, and its spark. A wide smile coming across her lips, she turned to the Princess herself, who placed both hands on her umbrella, watching the waves as they came.

"You're asking much of me Naruto." She reminded him of their position in life, tipping his hat to her, he nodded in return, "You'll be doing me a favor so big and so important; I'd spend the rest of my life repaying it to you. That's my promise, Parasoul."

Looking upon his earnest smile, a faint blush seemed to steal across her face, or was that a trick of the evening sun upon the waves?

"You should remember that you are my detective, and never forget that your place is beneath me unless I say otherwise. You are mine, remember that. And I'll see what has to be done to bring Nadia Fortune into the light of the Canopy Kingdom." Nadia's shoulders shook, the Black Egrets didn't realize what was funny about what Princess Parasoul said.

Tears leaked down her cheeks as she resisted bursting out laughing, a cheeky grin came across her face while her eyes seemed to turn narrow and more comically flat, "Beneath you, is that right? So, what if he wants to get atop you, or does he have to ask permission to do that?"

Naruto choked on his spit, Parasoul's cheeks slowly became as flame-red as her hair as she grasped the innuendo at last, "O-of…All the insolent! I-I've never been spoken to l-like that!"

Just as he began to think things were working out, Naruto's neck prickled, "GET DOWN!"

He made his move in the span of seconds. Pushing his hands forward, a wave of rushing air knocked everyone onto their backs, turning on a dime, a second wave was sent howling out with a second shove. His air blast knocked a storm of missiles and bullets out of alignment. Directing his fingers like a conductor, he sent them falling one by one into the water, harmlessly exploding in the depths.

As he turned, a hand fished out a trench-knife as his other calmly intercepted a thrown chair with its own knife. Yanking it and its owner forward, his trench-knife skated along the blade of the cyborg he reeled in. She promptly kicked him in the chest, her foot sending out a flame-thrower from the heel that forced him to leap back lest his lose his clothes.

"BLACK DAHLIA!" Leaping to her feet, Nadia Fortune saw blood-red.

The memories of who had been responsible for the murder of her family and her current situation were as fresh as they were seven years ago. Everything washed in red, the world, the people around her, the waters, and her own vision. She would never forget the face, the voice, or the body of the person who made her suffer.

The only thing that brought her back to reality, the only thing that could, was the powerful hand that landed on her shoulder. Through the vision of red blurring her eyes, she saw Naruto's eyes turning cold. Not once had she expected to see him show such seriousness. Each fresh ripple of hatred that emerged from him like a cool breeze in the ocean was kept at bay only by her presence.

Cracking her fingers, Parasoul walked over to him, Krieg over her shoulder and her handgun in the other hand, "So. This is the reason that you are like this?" She asked the cat woman with a conversational tone, nonetheless her voice was filled with deep fury that belied her calm expression.

"No kitty litter. I'm an immortal freak, thanks to what that fur-splitting bitch did to me!"

"She's got the biggest debt to pay for breaking your family," Naruto told her, clenching his fist around her clawed hand. "I can't forgive those who rob others of their joy."

She held his own hand tightly, her claws interlocking with his fingers before they broke apart. Walking to them, a gloved hand upon a machine gun arm, was the whole reason behind why Nadia was the way she was. Black Dahlia was a cyborg who kept her body thanks to Lorenzo paying top dollar to keep her as the best bodyguard he could have at his beck and call. Wearing what could best be described as the widow's gown of an old movie, she looked ready for a funeral with her pitch-black dress, veiled hat, and glove. As she aimed at the trio before her, some Medici men stormed the place while she narrowed her eyes. The detective had been a pain to the gangsters for some time and he was getting to be a threat.

"I guess you've outlived any worth for amusing Lorenzo, detective. Shame it wasn't earlier." She said as a good cartoon villain would, dripping with confidence.

"Congrats there, you got me right down and dirty angry. Not since I fought Valentine have I been this mad." Naruto rose his head up, both blue eyes glowed like icy chips. Putting both fists into the air, he took a rough and dirty boxing stance.

"You really think you can beat me?" She asked him with genuine curiosity, taking amusement in his rage.

"I know I can do more than that." He said and lowered his hat to shadow his eyes.

What he did next showed his desire to not just beat her but dismantle her. He rose a leg high, then stomped down on the pier boards hard enough to make them fly up. The rattling wooden boards flew sky-high and into the air like a storm of debris. All falling wooden planks were sent toward her, his leg kicking the air hard enough to send shockwaves barreling out.

"Arrogant, little..." Black Dahlia didn't even have time for a witty line, she held up her hand-cannon and fired while her men also opened fire to try to stop the incoming rain of projectiles.

But the detective didn't stop. Dancing to the rhythm only he could hear and only he could share, Naruto spun out of the way. Running low to the ground, Nadia ripped her head off and held it in her hands, her teeth out and flashing in a blood-curdling sneer. Tossing the head like a bowling ball, Naruto flipped into view again, one leg kicking her head enough to launch it like a missile!

"Pass, pass, pass!" Nadia cheered as her head was rocketed forward to put bullets to shame.

Pulling up a random grunt to take the impact of the head for her, Black Dahlia watched the bizarre projectile bounce off, and was ill prepared for a blast of force to erupt behind her**. **Just as she made a plan to turn around, she was knocked ass over teakettle. Nadia had been sent flying by a spike from the Black Egrets!

They had not only snuck past her, but had gotten behind her to form a solid mass of willing and eager fighters! And the salt added to the injury was from their princess. Slowly shaking her hips from side to side, Parasoul walked past Naruto who caught Nadia's head, handing it back to her body which put the head on and spun it around with both claws whirling about.

"Ever heard that it's just business?" Parasoul asked icily to the hitwoman, "Believe me, for us, ending your crime is more than personal or business." Her words made Nadia look at her in a new light as the odd trio charged forward**. **The whirling cyclone of flesh, blood, teeth and claws moved like a force of nature, Parasoul walking on one side of it, Naruto the other. Black Dahlia got up and unloaded a barrage of missiles, bullets, and more right at the trio!

Every new fresh salvo brought with it a rain of destruction. Parasoul popped out Krieg which returned fire, sending out a barrage of small orange orbs, her Tears, which floated in the air. She shot each salvo as they neared the goons that were about to open fire with their own weapons. The resulting explosions brought enough force to make the entire pier shake and bounce.

Naruto dashed through the explosions, his legs kicking seemingly at random by flipping forward, doing a cartwheel, and lashing out with his leg in a roundhouse kick. The meaning of his moves was made clear when waves of wind sent the fire flying up, keeping the pier and Little Innsmouth itself unharmed.

Black Dahlia shot out a dagger attached to a chain, shouting with a psychotic laugh, "GET THE HELL OVER HERE!" Nadia jumped in front of it for Naruto, grabbing the blade and letting it reel her instead. She had a fist cocked back before she sent it spinning forward like a drill! The cyborg in front of her blocked it with her gun arm, sending a screech of metal being scraped up like the chime of a bell!

"You're going to pay for every one of my family! I'll engrave their names into your head by the time I'm done with you!" Black Dahlia sneered at her behind her veil, leaning in close just before her knee smashed into Nadia's stomach, sending out a jet of fire that the cat woman had to roll back from.

"I can't remember every little worthless insect I've crushed! You're just one of many my dear, another mistake I forgot to clean up!" Chortling sadistically, the cyborg was blindsided when Nadia dropped her head down. Gripping down upon it, she spun in a top motion, her feet out and brutally savaging the cyborg who tried stepping back.

"Then I'll be glad to serve as a reminder of them and their names! My family, me, and the one who you nearly took me from!" Cartwheeling forward, Nadia positioned herself in the shape of a V, both claws swinging out and scattering a pile of grenades that Black Dahlia had dropped when she pulled up her skirt.

Every single one was knocked skywards by Tears fired by Parasoul, a follow up shot from her pistol letting them detonate harmlessly in the sky, as shrapnel fell, Naruto rushed towards his comrades, clapping then pointing up as the wind howled.

A whirling cyclone emerged above his head, spinning and grinding the metal fragments into a fine powder, letting it fall above his head, he clenched his hat down over his head with one hand. Parasoul silently popped her umbrella up above her head, and Nadia pulled up the collar of his coat.

The trio walked forward, Naruto giving a slight nod to his boss and princess, who rolled her eyes at his action, none the less she placed her thumb and index finger into her mouth and gave a sharp whistle.

"EGRETS! FORMATION KR!" she stomped her foot down with a loud shout, instantly her troops got onto a unit of motorcycles, rushing forward like the hounds of hell were upon their backs they blindsided and ran over the Mafia goons who were just getting up to try and rejoin the fight! "Egrets! Shield us!" she commanded as they reappeared in front of her.

Riot shields plonked down and embedded into the earth in a line formation. The reason why was clear as Black Dahlia's arm-cannon bulged, then released a gigantic missile ten times the size of any previous projectile! Naruto was yanked by her umbrella crooking under his neck, choking him as she stuffed him underneath her foot.

Nadia placed her hands over her ears, grinning as she muttered to herself, "Please help me~!"

The missile detonated and pushed the troops back, somehow or another, through force of will or protective wear, they did the impossible and withstood the shelling! Black Dahlia's white eyes widened behind their veil as they parted like the sea, spinning her umbrella around in one hand, Parasoul walked with Naruto being forced up by her other hand.

Nadia whistled cheerfully, hands in her coat pockets before her eyes narrowed into furious slits, "Nice try, bitch. Next time, use a little less TNA, more TNT!"

Naruto snickered to himself, asking her slyly, "Think the old bitch wants the life-gem so much so she doesn't look like ragged anymore?"

Nadia pat her abs with a sneer, "Good furruckin' luck getting it back. The Medici can kiss my furry ass and go bark at passing cars if they think I'll ever let them undo the passage of time!"

"Time, what a crazy thing. I wasted five years aimlessly, instead of manning up and being there for you. Sorry to both of you, I'm never going to go to sleep like that again!"

Parasoul ignored his words, giving a soft sigh in response, only replying when she had deflected a barrage of gun-fire with a spin of her umbrella in front of her, "Stop making apologies for the past mistakes and just move onto the present. You call yourself a detective, then do your job and serve me as your role dictates you should!"

"Serve you or 'service' you?" Nadia teased her cheekily, her eyes narrowing into sharp gleaming slits, "But enough of the punny jokes, let's cut right down to the 'heart' of the matter."

"You just said-" Naruto tried to tell her only for her to wave a hand at him.

"Nope, nope, nope, nope. Don't talk, just fight and do your job like she said!"

"Alright, you two have me over a barrel, but I can't deny you're both right. Let's bounce!"

Naruto rushed Black Dahlia down, the cyborg had been winded following her gigantic missile blast, following his chat, punching her with near perfectly timed one-two jabs. His strikes sent bursts of compressed wind. If one had the ability to see them clearly, then they would realize the gales resembled spears, blades and other weapons. It had the same effect his wind chakra had on anything it struck. The gunwoman's arm-cannon sported several large scratches and deep cuts into its metal, making it too much of a danger to even think about firing it.

"No!" she screamed while Naruto readied his next attack.

"Now, Nadia-chan!" He turned on a dime, his tie twirling around a fist as he used it like a make-shift flail. Nadia's head had been kicked forward by her body, latched onto the end of the tie, and, with the two working in unison, turned into a brutal ball and chain!

Powerful wallops of the head against Black Dahlia's body brought with it the crash of metal and hard steel. Finally, and ignoring the state of her situation in her ire, the cyborg had enough when her other arm split up and revealed a taser! Which she then used to try and zap the two!

"Pull back!" Nadia exclaimed and the blond did as told, yanking her before he skipped. Black Dahlia found such a move bizarre but realized too late what it was for when Naruto kicked both arms and cut them in two, leaving her fully defenseless.

"You...you bastard...!" the assassin scowled and glared at him.

"Call me a son of a thousand bastards, all bastards like me if you want to, but it won't change the fact of the day: you're paying for your crimes." Naruto told her while handing Nadia's body her head. He placed his tie back in place while he and Nadia glared at the unarmed assassin, pun intended.

"Heh...you think your prison will keep me locked in place?" she smirked. "Shame that this is only a delay, a good try on your part. Now I'll have to kill the Princess, too, but then it's not like her family and the Medici didn't work together before…" Parasoul's yellow eyes tightened at the cyborg assassin's words.

Naruto scowled, but whatever he was about to say was cut off by her slamming Krieg into the ground, her arms crossing beneath her bust, "What my father did during the war was disgusting. Working with scum like you to bolster the courage of the people and dragging Beowulf's name through the mud for a rigged match, fighting a drugged and near half-dead Gigan, we committed unacceptable crimes."

Krieg spun around in front of her, deflecting another barrage of gunfire, Black Dahlia clicked her tongue in frustration as the Living Weapon was completely unharmed. A bullet was fired from behind it, Black Dahlia cursing again as it bounced off her thigh, ricocheting around just as she sliced out with her palm, splitting in two. Spinning Krieg, Parasoul stepped out from behind it, giving her opponent a stern glare.

"Bitch..." the black-clad woman snarled, but the princess of the Canopy Kingdom had her beat.

"The Skullgirl labs, Brain-Drain, you yourself, mistakes were made by that madman. I will spend the rest of my life repenting, and Umbrella will likely as well, both of us forced to make up for the sins of what our father did to our nation and our family, and what he did to our mother. But unlike you…I mean to atone for every life he ruined!"

Parasoul finished her little speech by aiming her gun at the assassin. Black Dahlia lowered her head when the shouts of her men struggling and falling to the Black Egrets started to die down, and the fighting had stopped. As much as it pained the assassin, she had lost.

It was a small but satisfying victory for the Canopy Kingdom.

X-X-X-X-X

"So, this is the place, isn't it?" Naruto held his hands in his pockets, the wind's soft whispering brought with it a sense of danger and a hint of foreboding.

Eliza's personal abode, nothing less than an Egyptian-themed night club which also served as her very own private mansion. He inhaled the scent on the air and his expression grew much more controlled and serious. Blood, endless amounts of it, so much it reeked and coated the very ground in its dry iron scent.

"That would be correct, my good sirrah." Leviathan's noble tone made him chuckle to himself.

"Sirrah, heh. I forget, you 'are' nobility."

"Leviathan, please. Naruto is worthy of our respect," Squigly had a much gentler way of chiding Leviathan, her red eye closed as she hummed to herself.

Her parasite turned his head to face his mistress, "You are correct in that regard, I apologize, Detective. That was rude of me, Samson's attitude towards you might be rubbing off on me."

"I'm used to it. 'Sides, the company's fine with me. Filia's my partner, and so is Samson, when I'm with her, I finally realize what an old friend truly meant when they told me this." He rose a fist, and clenched it, a cyclone forming over it as he pulled his arm back, the golden brass doors in front of them only blocking their way forward, "Protecting someone important to you makes you so much more powerful."

Swinging the door open without warning, the one woman they had come to see appeared. The private investigator had to step back suddenly, as in front of him, quaffing a glass of ruby red liquid, was the one who had given him so much trouble earlier. He had seen her posters, he owned at least one, and he had occasionally listened to the records that she sold, but none of them could put to justice Eliza in the flesh.

"Finally, do come in." she mockingly curled a finger as if she was talking to a pet.

Every member of the trio raced after her right when she turned to enter her mansion with a calm, aloof, smug smile and sway of her hips until they remembered too late she set a trap for them earlier. Possibly too angry to let her go or downright determined to apprehend her, the odd party found the gates to her large mansion closing behind them just as Eliza turned to face them again. Albus and Horace appeared a second later, pulling in an Egyptian throne with cat heads made of gold for the arm-rests.

"You're not here to pose for us, so let's have it." Naruto boldly stepped forward to shield the girls from a possible attack or any trickery he could spy.

"Do not be alarmed, detective..." Eliza crossed her legs sensually, doing so in a way that she showed off her thighs without giving away much of her underwear. It had the desired effect of making the two little ladies behind the blond frown at her, "I wished for company worthy of my attention and you've passed, and I must admit you did so with flying colors."

"Let's say I give you the benefit of the doubt, then." He said with a laidback smile, narrowed eyes, and a hand in his pockets readying his knife for any surprises.

"Don't, she's evil incarnate!" Leviathan exclaimed in shock.

"That's putting it lightly, I recognize the smell of a bitch anywhere!" Samson roared.

"Again, let's say I do that." Naruto told the two parasites with a calming grin. "Going through all of this trouble just to greet us like this... You think you've got the upper hand, do you not? Don't lie, I've had an encyclopedia of experiences with people like you. A snake wanting knowledge with a god complex was a good way to sniff out your kind."

"So harsh, but so true..." Eliza smiled and swirled her cup in her hand. "I've tried your strength, tested it with amazing results. Oh, fighting you with your partners would be most foolish, of that you're sure, and dare I say it's why you're assessing what trick I could pull off...?" she was teasing more than asking.

"You've just admitted you're plotting a trap!" Squigly narrowed her good eye at her.

"Oh, but I've given it some thought to things." Eliza chortled. "Our common enemy is the Medici mafia, is it not?" she coquettishly batted her eyelashes at him.

Everyone went silent until Filia spoke up with a serious, firm expression, "Go on..." she put up her fists, a battle-ready look on her face unlike the girl Naruto first met.

Samson was alarmed, "Don't listen to her, can't you tell who she-"

"I know...!" Filia exclaimed, "But...the Medici have done so many wrongs... I need to know what is right to do." She glared at Eliza, making the woman shiver in delight at such fire from such a once meek girl.

"Oh, you and I will have some...fun," the woman cackled softly until Naruto stepped forward.

"Talk, before any trick of yours burns along this place." He didn't lose his cool, but he had gotten serious.

"Fine..." she conceded, "Sooner or later the Medici will try to cut my strings if I hand you to them. I could do that, but it'd only delay the inevitable pull of their long arm to drag me into yet another mess. What I would wish to do before facing you is see them burn... And then, I'd be content with fighting you to my heart's content until either of us falls." At the end, she licked her lips hungrily at the idea of pinning down a bloodied Naruto.

"And you expect me to believe there's no knife with my name on it and my back as its aim?" he cocked a brow when making that question.

"Or we can fight here and now..." she giggled, feeling young once again at the prospect.

Smiling back, Naruto placed both hands in his pockets and nodded, "I like that option more, it's much more direct and takes out all problems from the start."

"Good answer... Stupid, but good." Eliza smirked and snapped her fingers, "Ta-ta!"

"Wh-" Naruto started until he felt gravity pull him and the girls down once the floor disappeared! The ground split in two, revealing a trap door which the mad diva had for just such an occasion!

When her guests screamed on their way down, Horace was quick to press a button on a remote control which closed the trap before anyone could try to fly or climb out, "Is everything ready?" Eliza asked as she got up and Albus placed her white fur coat around her shoulders like a cape.

"It is, we shall make them regret not taking your offer." Albus smirked, but it only made his mistress frown.

"Are you alright in the head? That was a test of his resolve, if he was easily brought, I'd have tried to kill him right on the spot..." a murmur of amusement escaped her lips, "The fact he denied me has made him quite the catch... Make sure to spice his blood real good."

"Yes, ma'am." Horace and Albus said in unison while saluting her.

After they left to find the blond, Eliza closed her eyes with a sigh of relief, "Time to test your might and luck, detective."


	9. The Gates of Hell

**Bold for demon speech, Painwheel speech, or similar characters talking.**

_**Bold and Italic for attack names.**_

_Italic for thoughts and flashbacks._

Recommended listening.

Kaiji OST: Hyper Zawazawa.

Kaiji OST: Hyper Zawa.

Kaiji OST: Phoenix.

X-X-X-X-X

"HANG ON TIGHT YOU TWO!" Naruto grabbed Squigly and Filia in his arms, holding both living and undead Parasite hosts tight as wind gathered under his feet. Grinding the soles of his shoes against the long shaft they were falling, he was unable to fully slow down his fall as they dropped even faster.

When they finally dropped out of the hole, he looked up on a glance, seeing the walls of a building all around them as they collapsed into a pool of water. The pool was a rich blue and smelt faintly of both oil and rich perfume. He got out of the water, his clothes moved gently in the breeze, water droplets falling off him in a thin curtain. Behind him, Filia hauled herself out of the water, her hair and Samson covered her face like a wet mop, something that gave him a slight grin which he hid behind his hat with a cough.

She pulled the hair in front of her face out of her red eyes, coughing as she got up onto the tile surrounding the bathhouse. Squigly surprised them the most as Leviathan shot past them, latched around a pillar and hoisted her out of the water. Not wanting Filia's clothes to cling to her very meaty body more than they should or for Squigly's undead flesh to suffer any damage, Naruto snapped his fingers. A soft breeze caressed their bodies, water droplets fell off them as they were dried instantly by the air.

"My appreciation and thanks, Naruto." Leviathan said gratefully.

Squigly gave him a small nod of gratitude herself, "I concur, your aid was most valued. Thank you for drying us off, I don't have much left for my appearance, but I want to keep what I do have mostly good looking… Sorry, being a zombie who cares about her personal appearance, it's very hard…" she said, rubbing her bone hand with a soft sigh.

"It's better to not deal with the problems of being drenched to the bones while...she's here." He said to both inform them of his opinion and put their attention on their host.

"Greetings." Eliza's voice welcomed them. Naruto fished out both knuckle dusters, equipping them smoothly. Samson formed a series of bladed tendrils, each one shaking with vicious intent, and Filia took a rough kick-boxing stance, something she had emulated from watching how Naruto fought. Squigly placed both hands out, Leviathan constricting around her body protectively.

They were in her turf, deep in it if he was correct, and if they wanted to get themselves out safely, they'd need to play it cooler than they ever had. Eliza sat on a deck-chair, inclined against it with an inviting grin. She wore nothing less than a bath robe worn open slightly to expose her bountiful chocolate cleavage. Albus had place a towel around her hair and Horace a pair of cucumber slices for her eyes.

"Getting pampered while looking down on us, the bitch hasn't changed..." Samson growled, ignored by the diva.

"Having fun in my bathhouse, I see. The manse leads to here, my primary abode." She said, reclining as the blond detective approached her, mindful of Albus and Horace at either side of her.

"What's your game, lady?"

"Blackjack." She said with a wave of her hand, a table was placed down by Albus and Horace, the two sitting down at it as he looked taken aback by her words, "Oh, were you expecting a fight this soon? Not until you prove worthy of my attention. You beat my ABBA OD, but you haven't earned a round with me personally, you or the…two pests behind you. Samson~! And Leviathan~! Wonderful to see you again!"

"Sekhmet, you damned..." Samson spat non-distilled venom at her.

Leviathan was more proper about it, but his tone was equally cold, "We have nothing polite to say to you. You are the whole reason why our kind suffers in this new era of humanity. New Meridians look down upon us because of the ramifications of your action's centuries ago. Both you and your partner who I see has now merged seamlessly with you."

Eliza smiled, but that look was far from genuine and hid more than its share of fangs, "I see you two are as witty as ever. Detective Uzumaki, do you even know how many partners Samson has been through over his lifetime?"

"Don't you dare talk shit about the kid…" Samson said with mounting fury, but Eliza went on unhindered.

"That's right~! His previous partners, all of them, died one by one when he pushed them to the brink. Samson, darling, has a bad habit of getting his partners involved in shall we say…'dicey' situations."

"And I'm betting my soul against a devil you had a hand on it..." He said with a hand placed on his hat to keep himself in check, shadowing his eyes. "Why would you boast of knowing such a thing if it wasn't a thing you gladly orchestrated?"

Eliza narrowed her eyes with a sultry smile, "I'm starting to see why you earned your reputation..."

"And I've begun to see why Samson and Leviathan despise you since you sent that pet of yours to try to be a bother." Naruto replied with a soft, lazy smile to irk her.

She surprised him laughing with her hand in front of her face, she held it there, smiling through the gaps, "Oh! You are a treat! You truly think I'll be rattled so easily? Please, give me more credit, Detective and company~! I'm much more magnanimous than that!"

A groan escaped his lips, she was unflappable and utterly unrepentant to any crime she committed. Any woman like that had no remorse and couldn't be baited as easily as he thought.

"It doesn't change the fact your ABBA OD was why we had to fight and meet Squigly." He accused her.

Eliza moved her legs in a manner that for a brief second, he hated to admit, made him peek at the gap between. Sadly, he caught nothing but darkness from her robes.

"Did you truly have such a problem with it?" she asked him, her face set in a splitting grin, amused by that fact, "I was watching you all flounder about so pathetically. It was simply just…" She leaned in from her reclined position, letting her robe fall open to expose more of her cocoa-colored cleavage, "Delightful! It was the most deliciously amusing sight I've seen in well over a century~!"

He almost caught sight of how aroused she was by the discussion by the fact that he could almost see a little bit of her nipples poke through her bathrobe. Right where the middle of her breasts was.

"You're immortal?" the way his voice seemed to gain a tone of genuine interest intrigued her.

She leaned back, staring at him through her cucumber slices, "Quite so. I have lived for centuries, my dear Detective~! You seem to have had some experience with others like me, if the way your voice hitched is any indication."

He pulled his hat down over his eyes, hiding them from view and looking to the side as he replied, "You're terrifyingly perceptive when you want to be, Eliza. Or should I call you…Sekhmet?" When he let loose that name, she removed each cucumber slice slowly, her eyes turning black on yellow, while the skin around her cheeks receded, revealing bone underneath.

"You're quite the detective, aren't you? But then I never did try to hide who I truly am. Eliza and Sekhmet are the same person!" Her chuckle carried with it a deep menacing undertone, one so dark and twisted it caused Squigly to clench her fists tightly.

"You're a monster…" Squigly's accusation brought out a peal of sadistic laughter from Eliza's throat. Knowing she was responsible for many of the deaths Samson's users had suffered, truly put into perspective what kind of warped creature sat before them.

The woman shook her head in response to the words, "A monster's what a plebian would accuse one above them of being, usually after begging them for mercy and then finding there to be none. Do they ever appreciate the fact their families are left alone until they seek vengeance? I could retract that mercy if they liked, but then who would be the real monster?" Filia blinked, processing that remark made her lift a finger to interject. Sadly, Eliza kept going, she clearly loved the sound of her own voice, "But to the point, be more careful with your choice of words lest you arouse my ire."

She took a sip of a fancy looking wine glass with more red liquid, Naruto's nostrils flaring as he caught the scent of iron in the liquid. He knew what she was drinking better than anyone. Since he had spent so many years of his life steeped in that reek and smelling it wherever he went.

"Then what do you call yourself?" Filia asked with narrowed eyes.

"My dear naïve child, I am no monster. I am a Theon. Samson and Leviathan are as well. Our kind has been prejudiced against and hated for centuries, when we can outlast unworthy hosts who do not assimilate with us perfectly."

Her words carried with them a certain level of promise and threat, something that brought Naruto's fists to a clenched state, "Immortals should bare more responsibility than to blame others for their mistakes."

Eliza tilted her head quizzically towards that odd train of thought, "You speak as if you've known many immortals." the way her voice lightly suggested things caused the heckles on Samson and Filia to rise, neither host nor parasite could bring themselves to forgive Eliza attacking them.

"I've put down a few. You would be surprised that even the unkillable can be killed. If you come at them with sufficient force," he was testing her, pushing the limits of which he could speak with her, she couldn't help but grind her finger against her head in blatant excitement, "Eliza, what purpose did you bring us all here? Just for a game?"

"Why yes...even battles get dull if you don't really test out how far you can extend your entertainment," she answered with a sultry smile as she leaned back, letting her robe open slightly to show her smooth, fit belly and a pierced bellybutton with a sapphire beetle inlaid with gold dangling from it. "Had I not tried to test you, I wouldn't enjoy victory or acknowledge defeat. You see, if I am to stomp you, I wish to drink a sense of euphoria like a true nectar of gods... And should I lose, I need some satisfaction in knowing an exemplary warrior bested me. In this immortal life, boredom is worse than death. Do you know what I've craved for through millennia? An equal or superior, someone to truly test my limits."

"Sounds to me like you try to make your standards higher than needed for a pity date." He shot back.

A chuckle escaped her lips, "Oh yes, I can tell this shall be a fun get together." Eliza's smile turned utterly devilish, one hand on her cheek as the detective sat down at a chair, Squigly next to him and Filia on a place that surprised everyone, right on top of his lap. Squigly gave a faint smile despite herself. The view from above them showed all the gathered individuals. From Eliza, to Naruto, to Albus and Horace, all the way to Squigly and Filia plus their partners.

Naruto spoke up, "The reason I'm indulging this game and not fighting you is because when in another's home, you respect their rules and the terms they set. I'm in your home, therefore, by the very fact that you've yet to attack me beyond insults and threats…I will oblige in kind." He explained why he was even participating in this twisted game of hers, having no other reason to play than basic common courtesy.

She realized that herself, a pleased trill escaping her lips like the purr of a feline with her velvety voice rich with amusement and barely restrained interest, "Very kind of you to partake in the old idea of hospitality being treated with equal hospitality~! You're a believer in the old ways, then? When you invite another into your home, you are obligated to treat them with kindness until the moment they no longer do the same for you." She swirled her wine glass about in one hand, smiling into the red liquid with a cold smirk, "Or is that just human decency at play? You're a complicated man, Detective Uzumaki."

"There's more to fighting than trying to crush the other guy." He answered bluntly.

She noticed Filia now, the host to Samson who had little of her interest prior, was glaring right at her without hesitation. Quirking an eyebrow up, she took the girl in properly.

The schoolgirl crossed her arms, glaring at the table, "I'm not moving from this spot. I want to be able to protect Naruto if I must! You want to harm him; you have to harm me too!"

Samson crossed his own tendrils, "Kid… Heh, you're growing up fast. Alright! Let's go, you twisted bitch!"

Eliza held out her hand laughing at the behavior of Filia, Albus shuffling a deck several times, placing golden colored cards on the table once they were properly cut. She placed a well-manicured hand upon the deck, lifting a card and showing to the five opponents she was facing. A stylized Egyptian Pharaoh was upon it with a heart-shaped rod in his hand. His face was blank on purpose and seemed to be in a posture that suggested impotence if not lack of masculinity, hinting of her opinion on male Pharaoh's.

"The game is Egyptian Blackjack. Otherwise like regular Blackjack, the rules are slightly different. A king and a queen together will be an automatic twenty. An ace and a king will be a nineteen. And a queen and an ace will be become a twenty-one. As for a queen and a queen...if you can obtain such a combination, then the game will end then and there. The Queen rules above all in her domain. Any other combination will be its normal number. The ruling class sit above all in Egyptian style Blackjack."

The Queen was of a figure that looked so much like Eliza it was clear it was just her egotism at work. She wore a feminine version of the Pharaoh's outfit, and by the jewelry and excessive dominance of her smirk it was clear where her views on a queen laid. The card she used showed an image of the woman holding a diamond shaped staff in her hand.

As for the ace, it seemed like she had gotten a brand-new card in place of the old. It was one with an uncanny resemblance to a blond man with tan skin, his shirt off and an A-shaped brand upon his chest. In each hand he clutched a pair of daggers, forming them into the shape of a Spade. Clearly, she meant to suggest that Naruto's likeness was used as the ace.

Said detective flashed her the joker, a picture of a leering Crocodile man with two sickle swords forming a J in front of him, "What about him?"

Smiling, she opened her other hand, exposing the second Joker in it, "The Joker in this game, like normal Blackjack, is removed entirely." They placed the two cards on the side, their show of slight-of-hand a way to gauge the other's ability to watch the cards. Both had seen the other slip their hands through the deck faster than anyone else could perceive, meaning that they were on equal terms.

Eliza's face peeled back, revealing the feline skull within.

Naruto's eyes turned blood red and his whiskers jagged.

The twisted parasite user spoke, "**This game will be set in three distinct turns. If you lose, you die."**

"And what do I get in return for defeating you, Eliza?" he made a point to refer to her by her cover name, she said something that brought gasps out of Horace and Albus both. However, she also noticed a hidden message: he felt confident and had every intention on beating her.

"**Neferu."** Her correction made his eyes widen then narrow, "**The true name begets the honesty of the game. I will bleed you dry if you lose. If you win, you will be granted permission to begin the second round. In my home, I set the games and the rules. If you win this, the next game will be of a more… action-packed nature~!"**

By action packed, she meant she'd fight them in a real match. Either as herself or by throwing ABBA OD at them and probably other things besides. Which meant that she'd be waiting at the end after they beat her abilities.

"I want answers as my final reward for winning every game." The way he said that with such utmost certainty made her lean forward. Eliza's features were like a worn skin moving with her, but he noted that despite being loose on her body, her blue eyes focused on him intently.

"**Answers? Whatever answers do you want**_?" _He leaned towards her, the two staring into each other's eyes, "**What information do you think one such as I can grant you?"**

"For one…why does a woman called Double hate you so much? What did you do to her and her children? Aeon and Venus?" the way Sekhmet's bony gaze narrowed slightly hinted that she knew who he was asking about.

"**So, in the name of her false deities, that pathetic creature still plays games with the lives of men and women? Still seeking hosts for that wretched abomination, the Skull Heart. There are no wishes that it can grant, mortal fools that gain it will find it twists their wishes and desires into impure mockeries**_." _Naruto stared into the deck of cards, his expression one of melancholy.

He did not disagree with her viewpoint, "I watched one of the kindest and most beautiful women in the world make a wish upon that damned thing. It tore the princess' life apart. Deprived her of a mother. Forced her sister to grow up. Ten years ago, when I was just recovering in a broken state."

Filia placed a hand on his arm, her expression one of sorrow and sympathy as he clenched his hand around his arm tightly, "Naruto, you were there back then?" she asked him sadly, realizing that for him, the Skullgirl was more than just a terrible incident. He witnessed the affects it had on the woman he respected above all others in his life. And knew full-well the tragedy that the Skull Heart would bring in its wake.

"Private dick… damn, no shit. No wonder you're so pissed all the time whenever that thing gets brought up around us. You…" Samson realized it himself, the parasite muttering bitterly to himself, "You didn't just become the princess dame's detective, you swore your loyalty to her above all others. Because she…"

Squigly held her bony hands together, like Parasoul, her life had been made into suffering because of the Skull Heart, but instead of living with the shame it had brought her family, the twisted object brought her family and her own short life to an end. Before it had truly begun.

"If it means we come even closer to the truth surrounding that despicable thing, then we will become just that much closer to ending it at its source… Detective Naruto, we have to play this game with her. If she can point us towards a new target, anything is worth the risk."

Naruto held a hand to his head, clenching his fist tightly, "It was everywhere on the news. Queen Nancy Renoir, the Skullgirl. Ironically, her transformation ended the war. Those were the faces of the cruelty and unfairness this world has suffered."

He wasn't about to give up. This explanation, what he was saying, it was all being laid bare. The reasons why he would wager his life against Sekhmet, to seek answers and uncover the truth.

Leviathan curled around Squigly with a deep huff, rubbing against her cheek as his sad yellow eyes stared at the detective who looked up, his red eyes glinting with nothing short of limitless courage.

"So, you're going to play this game with Sekhmet? Knowing that if you lose your life shall be taken? Detective, you are going above and beyond the call of duty. I would be remiss as the aide to milady if I did not help you in every capacity." The serpent told him sincerely, stretching out and grabbing a mouthful of cards, Squigly took her own set in hand.

Samson snatched up a pair of cards himself. Filia doing the same. One by one, everyone took their own cards as the game would begin once he said his resolve.

Naruto didn't increase his volume or exclaim, he kept a calmness to him of a man who had made peace with himself, "I watched those Medici bastards creep into every hidey hole in the city, rape it into a broken shell, and let myself fall. Now I've got a chance to make up for five years of sleep. So, let's play."

Sekhmet crossed her bony limbs in response to his determination, her eyes twisting into amusement before Eliza's appearance sealed itself up over her own. The woman placed a hand to her chin, amused beyond measure at the situation. Both her voices spoke in unison as the view from the table rotated.

"**Then let the game begin. **Good luck detective~!"

Each of the gathered players had their own reasons to want to win. Filia to uncover the truth and stop the Medici. Squigly to end the threat of the Skull Heart forever and save those she loved. Naruto to protect his city and his loved ones. Horace and Albus to serve their treasured master. Samson and Leviathan to end Sekhmet's threat once and for all. And the woman herself to amuse herself in a game of destiny against her desired enemy.

Much like normal Blackjack, the initial round went by fast.

"First round...show your hands." Horace said and pushed up his glasses.

"Damn..." Samson cursed when seeing the cards.

Eliza giggled, "My, an actual challenge, detective. I usually don't find anyone to match me."

It was Naruto and Eliza who won with an ace and a queen, to which he replied, "I don't think it's just luck or fate, so save any cheesy lines, please."

He said that, but he was worried as he looked at the others. Each of his friends had been knocked out in the first round and anyone who didn't get a natural twenty-one or went above was out of the game. Filia had struck out first along with Leviathan, followed immediately by Squigly and Samson in round two. Unluckily for him, Horace and Albus still survived, making it clear that if Naruto lost this last game, all their lives were forfeit.

Holding a hand down, Eliza flashed him a proud smirk, "You know detective. This game would've been so much quick if it had just been us." Naruto smiled back, amused by how she thought she had already won but mostly to keep a strong face.

"And prevent my partners from engaging you? As if. They deserved a chance to see you in a game too." He said, staring at his own hand, as if it held the answers to the universe.

Looking amused, Eliza leaned back, her arms crossing as she stared at the cards that had been taken out of play, "Let me tell you of another facet of the game, winning hands were taken out of the game."

Samson grew livid. Leviathan felt insulted. Filia pouted quite cutely if angrily. Squigly narrowed her eye at the woman. Albus just smirked. And Horace pushed up his glasses. However, Naruto remained calm and spoke before any of his companions lost their cool.

"Any other rules you want to keep hidden from us?" he asked with a small smile, "Are you really so sure you will win, or do you need to throw us off?"

Horace and Albus tensed as his friends understood him and loosened up slightly, which Eliza noticed with a smirk, '_Not bad, he understood my plan right from the start... Just a simple tactic, but still, to keep such a cool head. Ah... I may do more than taste his blood._' She licked her lips and looked at her cards, '_Try as he may, he won't have it easy... I_ _got the only ace and king left in the entire game_.'

She looked at the blond man smugly, feeling that the game had had been ended too soon. Her companions had the last pair of Jacks, giving them perfect 18s. There was no way he could win this.

"You got a big mouth, private dick..." Albus growled to the man, inwardly grinning, '_Fool! We got you!_'

"We're not done yet, are we?" Naruto asked as he took a sip of a drink.

"Then, let's finish it, or shall we say end you?" Horace wished he could smile if only he didn't have a beak.

"Indeed, your friends still lost, and with this, I have won. It's been wonderful, Detective Naruto, but I will now enjoy my victory… **And your blood~!" **Sekhmet said, sneering as Eliza's skin melted off. But strangely, Naruto was calm as could be.

"Are you so certain that I cannot pull the string of victory? Do you truly think you've won this?" he asked her, making her blink, then narrow her eyes.

"Impossible. You'd need to have gained two queens to have won. You could only have one." She stated, but for some reason, she didn't find it as impossible as could be. Still, there were only two queen's left in the entire deck, he couldn't have pulled the impossible hand. Or…

"Who says I only have luck?" He asked and took another sip of his drink, a orange and mango juice with a couple of blue straws.

"You truly think you can beat me? That by defeating me, you will have access to information that only I can give?" She was pressing him. She refused to believe that he could've beaten her, counting the cards was a fool's trick, and she never lost a hand before. He couldn't have done the impossible, not without cheating or having luck that was borderline divine.

"I know that if I win, then everyone here, the people I love and treasure, they will come closer to finding the truth with me. To understanding how to save the world." He told her without hesitation, the view from up high panned around them, Eliza biting her thumb, Horace and Albus looking concerned, and Naruto's own expression being one of grim determination.

She shook her hand out, blood flying from it and forming floating knifes in the air which rotated around him, "You cannot have obtained the winning hand! I have **won detective! Give it up!"**

Outright demanding that he had lost, she was pushing him mentally, wanting to call his bluff but at the same time being wary enough of him that she didn't believe he had achieved the impossible.

And then...it hit them when he took another sip.

"Oh, do you want some?" he asked and offered her the large wineglass where he kept the juice.

"Where'd you..." Eliza stumbled on her words, eyes bulging out. They narrowed again. She was trying to understand where and when he could've gotten that. He'd need to be far faster than the average to have achieved it.

"Don't think I don't have manners, I was just thirsty." He chortled and took another sip from the straws, "I've always wanted to try tropical drinks like this one."

Eliza snapped, aiming a finger at his face, "Hey! Don't play with me and answer me! Where and how did you-"

"Aren't we going to finish this round?" he asked calmly**.**

"**Aaaah…So you're truly like that, then?" **Sekhmet emerged from deep within Eliza, her skin falling off as she took in her opponent down to his core. "**There was only ever one man who beat me in gambling like this. A foolish Dragon Empire denizen, who won every game I challenged him with at the behest of the Medici Mafia and walked home a free man. Uneasy, this match, it makes me uneasy. I remember him now! Do you truly mean to challenge the status quo then!?"**

Naruto took another sip of his drink, the ice clinking in its depths, his blue eyes narrowing at Sekhmet's furious words, "I mean to win. Challenging people, beating them, those things never mattered to me. Do not underestimate my resolve to uncover the truth."

Clenching her fist around her cards, the bony Theon leaned over the table dominantly, her eyes taking in the confident smirk of her opponent.

"Boss! You're being taken into his pace! You need to-" Albus was hushed when she threw her hand out, a flurry of blood splashing out and forming several floating orbs in the air resembling Egyptian style eyes that floated around the table.

"Mistress, please! If you let him dictate the terms of the match, you'll lose to him psychologically!" Horace told her.

Sekhmet merely threw her head back and cackled madly, her finger grinding against the side of her bony skull claw-tip first. She accused him, pointing one claw at him. Eliza's eyes locked into him from within the loose folds of skin that hung from her body.

"**The odds are against you though, even if you are bluffing, do you think I will fold? I, Eliza?! Who have lasted centuries, played far greater games the likes of you will never know, and for whom the lives of men are but gambling chips to be tossed aside!?**"

Filia stood up, one fist out with Samson's own fist being placed over it, "Naruto is far greater than you! I believe in him. I believe he will steal victory from the jaws of defeat! Because, he's the man I…!"

Samson chortled, crossing his tendrils with Filia crossing her own arms, "Tch, don't even get that sappy, kid. Hey Sekhmet, you bitch! You'll never beat a man who is dominating you psychologically! The private dick is the only the second man to ever push you like this, huh!? Then let's see what happens!"

Squigly opened her eye, the red orb taking in the battle with a look of near-total serenity, "I believe as well. He is the one I have always hoped would emerge. A hero who will bring an end to the suffering New Meridian and this world have suffered. Hmhm…perhaps a hero, might be pushing it, yes~?"

She teased Naruto, who rubbed the back of his head, grinning despite himself as he held his cards tightly, "If I'm a hero, I'm a lousy one. The only people I have ever tried to save are the ones I can extend my arms out to reach."

Sekhmet broke out laughing mad, her eyes focused on her cards before she pulled her hand back, Naruto doing the same with a dramatic snarl, **"HAAHHA! You're like an ape, trying to climb towards a distant fruit to satiate its starving stomach! You will do anything to avoid the fate that lies beneath you at the claws of a hungry tiger!"**

"Then what will it be? Win, lose, let's see if something as meaningless as luck or fate nets me this game."

Wind wrapped around his fist as he slammed down each card he had, blood flew from Sekhmet's own, washing over the table as she slammed her own cards down next to his. They placed their hands over each card, turning them upright as the aura of the table became even more uneasy and tense.

"**Impossible, simply, impossible," **Eliza reformed her skin, the woman putting a hand against her head, dragging it down with a fearsome growl, one eye bled yellow and black, the other remained its normal color, both sides in unison as they spoke, "You're a terrifying man… Was it just luck? Or…did you truly manage to win by cheating me?"

Two queens.

The last two queens in the entire deck.

Squigly said it best, her hands clasped as if in prayer, "Incredible, Detective. Simply, incredible. Through the darkness and the shadows that enshrouded you and your fate, you seized the gleaming ray of light that shone through."

Naruto's other hand opened, Eliza's lips twisting in a perfect smirk. In his other hand he held the two Jokers. He had swapped them during the chaos of their psychological fighting when she had been off balance for but a brief moment. He switched those cards with the last queens.

But as for his original hand...

Leviathan popped his mouth open, spitting out a pair of tens, the toothy serpent chuckling softly, "So that is how slight-of-hand works. Misdirection fuels trickery, and trickery finds victory."

Naruto could sense how her bloodlust had spiked terribly. She was far from ready to give up. Rather, she was more than ready to begin the true reason as to why she wanted them there. Her next words were a prelude, pure venom dripping from them. Everyone in the room knew what would come next.

"Make the impossible happen, and it's merely possible… Just like that damnable man. You should be proud, detective. You made me feel uneasy and defeated me as he did. But unlike how he walked away, you will stay, as the next game we will play will be far from normal gambling."

She rose up from her table, letting her robes fall off to reveal her ravishing nude form. A screen was plopped down in front of her by Albus and Horace, before her usual clothes were placed over it. She pulled them over, dressing slowly, even sensually. Occasionally pausing just so he could see the outline of her incredible body.

"A-a-aaaaahhhhhh! Y-you h-ha-harloooot!"Filia pointed shakily at Eliza's naked form behind the screen. She was beyond angry. Her fists clenched, her eyes became glassy with rage, and the usual demeanor of innocence and kindness she had melted off her like rich butter. She was _furious_ and wanted to fight more than anything else.

Squigly's eye bulged, and if one paid it close attention, they could see blue veins engulfing every inch on it, "This…this is disgusting. Have you no shame!? Absolutely no sense of propriety!? You…you scandalous woman!" she wasn't as crass as Filia, but she was as disgusted as her partner was. Her lips twisted themselves into a tight grimace, and her bone hand clenched tightly.

Samson did a wolf-whistle, literally forming himself in a wolf's head to whistle. He did so mainly out of mockery, making fun of the fact that Eliza was stripping and getting into her normal garb. Leviathan was a tad more tasteful, the serpentine parasite merely narrowed his eyes and pursed his mouth in disgust.

When the screen moved aside, she clutched her microphone stand, flashing the group a wide smile. As she got dressed and the blond detective got up, the bathhouse underwent a change. The very setting became darker and more disturbing. The waters turned to blood, and the aura of the place had become far more ominous. Filia stood up with him, taking a rough fighting stance, as did Squigly who closed her red eye in preparation for the battle to emerge.

Finishing his drink, he asked, "Does this mean we get to the final challenge? Or did you really need to try to fluster me yet again?" he asked, having kept his hat down all the time.

"Oh, don't tell me you didn't want to watch out of shyness?" she teased him.

"If I wanna see an actual lady reveal her treasure to me, I'd ask anyone but you on a date." Naruto shot a cheeky if lazy smirk at her to further anger her.

She took it in stride, making it clear that he'd need to work harder to unsettle her, "Charming Detective Uzumaki~! But I will have your heart. Either in my hand…or for myself."

With that final bit of flirting, they rushed towards each other, the chaos about to unfold would make the bathhouse red hot!

X-X-X-X-X-X

Sorry to cut it off here, but next chapter will be one MASSIVE fight scene. So, we needed a breather chapter to focus on some good old psychological mind games. Thank you for your patience!


	10. Rancid Romance

**Bold for demon speech, Painwheel speech, or similar characters talking.**

_**Bold and Italic for attack names.**_

_Italic for thoughts and flashbacks._

Recommended listening.

Black Cat Zoot: Dirty Dance.

Cut Capers: Get Movin' (Feet don't fail me now)

Bart&Baker Feat Slim Gilliard: Communication.

Diablo Swing Orchestra: Honeytrap Aftermath.

Diablo Swing Orchestra: Exit Strategy of a Wrecking Ball.

X-X-X-X-X

"Three against three. Well, if you don't count the miserable host or your adorable inner demon pet~!" Eliza cooed at Naruto, giving Squigly and Filia a more contemptuous look.

The reanimated girl flipped her pigtail out of her face, "I feel the same about you. You're a wretched hive of scum and villainy. A living trash bag filled with all of the worst things of ancient history."

Whistling with a tickled expression, Eliza shook her head from side to side with her eyes closed and a hand held aloft theatrically, "Oho! So, you're much more than a sack of flesh and rotting bones! You have some pep and fire in your steps! Leviathan, how did you find such a curious little oddity as your host? Oh. That's right, silly me… You bound yourself to a family, I remember now!"

The serpent gave her a piercing stare, decidedly underwhelmed with her commentary, "You have always chosen to forget things that didn't attract your attention for more than a few seconds, Sekhmet. You and your host alike were always self-absorbed volatile fiends."

One eye narrowed, the other turned black with yellow iris, "You're mouthy, aren't you, Leviathan? Hmph. I always did like Samson more than you…at least he isn't as pompous!"

"Go fuck yourself, Sekhmet! You've got several centuries of ass-whooping straight from me! For every last host you killed, all of them were my fucking friends!"

She countered Samson's livid deluge smoothly, "You've killed them yourself Samson darling. You pushed them to the brink and raced towards me without hesitation, cursing my name, you've never allowed them a moments peace when you found me! I've simply removed their distractive qualities from you~!"

Filia raised her head, her red eyes narrowed into a razor-sharp gaze. Walking straight ahead, she surprised her partners and her arch-enemy. Filia didn't hesitate as her fists dug their nails into her palms. Her leg shot to the side, hair rippling down its surface and creating a chain-saw, she swung it back in a lighting quick roundhouse which not only was deflected, it was parried by Eliza's weapon.

"I'm not letting you mock anyone..." the schoolgirl said.

"You dare to approach me? That's just adorable, little Samson and co~." Eliza leaned forward, her hands gripping her mic-stand and spinning it around like it was a staff.

"Of course, I have to approach you. If I don't, we'll never be able to fight you!" Filia told Eliza in utter determination. Just at the moment that she was close enough to attack, the girl was clutched by Eliza's hand gripping her cheeks, "D-damn it, let me go!"

Pulling her in, Eliza's face peeled back, Sekhmet glaring at the girl with overwhelming haughtiness contained within her gaze, "**You will suffer an eternity as my plaything for being so foolish as to challen-"**

"I said let go!" Filia's fist socked Eliza under her chin, hair forming a set of gator-teeth which clenched around Sekhmet's neck. "I will never let anyone be your plaything! Not Naruto, not Squigly, not Leviathan, and especially not Samson, no one ever again will suffer your torture!"

Red eyes shone with fury as Filia lifted the would-be queen up and let her meet the tiled floor as gravity rushed her down. Her foot went up and crushed Sekhmet where she was, Samson having created spike soles over her shoe to add to the parasite's pain.

She ground her heel down several times, bashing Sekhmet underneath her spiked sole, raising her foot for another stomp down, her danger senses spiked. And she rolled back, landing on her plump stomach and breasts, her eyes wide as a scorpion's tail dangled over Eliza's crumpled body, blood dripping from it and sizzling on the tiles.

Sekhmet got up now that she was no longer under foot, her arms dangling in front of her body limply, "**Not bad. I see you're a more competent host than I initially thought of you. Still. You're no Delilah**!" with an insane gyration of her body, she worked herself into a mass of bones, claws, and blood. The movement of her body forced Filia back lest she be eviscerated by claws, tails, teeth, blood-blades, and everything in between.

"Kid, move!" Her hair changed into a pair of whippy pigtails, which wrapped around Naruto's body.

The detective was swung overhead, his legs coated down to the soles of his feet with wind. Placing himself into a hand-stand, his legs moved about as well as his own fists. The air cracked and roared as their limbs met each other, claw deflected by wind-blades, blood-blades redirected by cyclones, teeth intercepted by hard leather. Naruto pushed off the ground, his coat flapping in the wind he generated to gather speed.

Eliza reformed quickly and stabbed her microphone into the ground. Blood swirled from her body and became a pair of serpopards which launched up, biting and gnashing at the Detective when he had let himself be drawn back to the earth! The creatures were met not by his fists, or his legs, or his blades, but a pair of fox-heads made of blue shimmering wind!

The clash of the four beasts brought with them splattering wind and flying blood! Eliza morphed her leg, forming into blood as a hieroglyphic was formed from her bone. She stomp-kicked Naruto in the chest, countered when his opposite fist met her face, a wind blade slicing her down to the bone! Spitting blood, her expression became one of smug murder as the blood got in his eyes.

Stumbling back, he struggled to wipe them clean with a growl, "Cheap trick!"

"Don't show me your back, love~!" she mocked him for he had turned around.

Swinging the Staff of Ra around, she used the scythe like bottom to rip him clean in half!

"Naruto!" Filia cried, but all horror was replaced when a log dropped onto the ground in his place with a strange white slip of paper on it.

Walking to it, Eliza tore it off and looked confused at it, "Is this Dragon Empire writing? Let's see if my Dragon Empire is rusty, the seal means… Explode. Explode!?" her eyes popped out of their sockets in horror when she realized what the seal meant, seeing it glow red a blast of fire and heat blew her face clean off!

Literally at that. Sekhmet was charred black, until a spray of blood launched over her appearance and healed her immediately. Eliza reformed and she cracked her neck with a sigh.

"I'm so glad I kept a couple of those old tags with me." Naruto said even though he couldn't cheer due to the situation he was in.

"Detective, that's very rude, you know?" Eliza asked him rhetorically.

Swaying her hips from side to side, she approached him as he appeared out of a puff of smoke in front of her. Swinging her staff in an arc, flame enveloped it, which he dodged quickly by stepping back several times. However, she wasn't even close to being done! Her leg swung from behind her body, warping priot to a looming image of a serpent which rushed towards him, teeth opened wide as it swallowed the flames to double its damage!

"Shit!" He swayed back, his entire body falling near completely horizontal with his muscular body flat.

Unluckily for him Eliza was able to slither forward until she loomed over him. Her hands gripped his cheeks and she inhaled his scent as close as she could. Licking her lips as she took in his aroma, she plotted how to enjoy his blood. When she struck upon the perfect way to sample him, she raised perfectly manicured fingers before he could react.

"Delicious~!" Stabbing down into his torso with her hand, he poofed into smoke again, "What now?" the diva looked up in bemusement, seeing him perform a strange seal with both index and middle fingers forming a cross.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" he shouted and at least five different clones of him popped into reality.

She responded in kind, blood flowing around her body as she moved into the air! Leaning forward, both arms spread out in a wide arc, more blood flowing around her ornate clothes and body until it shot down like the rays of the sun in a barrage of crimson-rays!

Each clone tossed his companion forward as they got pierced one at a time, ending at the final Naruto who was sent after her. He kicked the air once and hit her with a hook to the face. A burst of wind emerged from his powerful right fist, the wind pushed her off his limb and struck her in a launch away from him!

"Squigly, go long!" He landed down, wind caressing his lower body and letting him move right towards Filia, blood flying as he positioned himself next to his partner!

"Of course, Detective Naruto! You don't even need to ask me to help!" she told him, her good eye glowing with her intent to finish the fight, "This fight goes beyond just us, we have to save what we love too!"

"C'MERE! I'M GOING TO RELISH TEARING INTO YOU SEKHMET!" Leviathan chased her through the air, Squigly holding both hands out to focus her voice and senses, to his full extent the toothy serpent chased her throughout the air until he caught her in his jaws!

Ripping into her, he shook her about like he was attempting to break her in half, throwing her skywards, his tail pierced her through the stomach, blood spraying out of it, Eliza's eyes widened when she realized that they were trying to pull her back to them!

Squigly clenched both fists tugging back Leviathan with her, shouting with a piercing tone after throwing them to the side as Leviathan had her fully in his tails grip!

"GET OVER HERE, HARLOT!" Eliza saw Naruto and Filia rush towards Squigly and figured out very quickly what they meant to do as wind and hair enveloped their respective legs.

"Oh, Horus~! Albus~! Dears~?" Eliza's freaking limousine crashed through the bathhouse, blindsiding the trio who couldn't believe the fact that a whole car had been driven towards them! Somehow or another, the limousine disappeared right after it almost ran them over. Forced to let go of Eliza, Squigly was caught underneath Naruto's arm, Filia in his other as he leaped skywards, wind flowing underneath them and a thermal keeping him aloft with his partners in hand.

Naruto caught sight of how it disappeared through a hidden panel and groaned aloud after lightly setting down and letting Filia and Squigly go, "You boobytrapped your house? Are you just that twisted or is it just had too much money to spend on nothing?"

"What a woman does in the sanctity of her own home is her own business~! Don't tell me you don't live in a nice house…" Eliza's voice trailing off as she saw how his face fell.

Filia held her arm with one hand, looking to the side with just a little embarrassment, "I sleep on his bed, he sleeps in a chair… We live in the same apartment…"

Eliza's cheek twitched into a smile, her eyes glinting in amusement, "Oh! So, you truly are one of those cliché pulp fiction detectives~? You even live in your own office!"

"Not everyone has money to spare and blow on fancy bathhouses…" he muttered self-consciously.

Eliza chortled and wagged a finger mockingly, insulting him with her officious tone, "In my day, even a slave could say he owned a roof over his head. Things have truly taken a turn for the worse. You pathetic souls, cramming yourselves into packed buildings you don't even own just to perform transactions to rent them. It's wretched."

"That's just how the modern world works! So, don't knock it!" he countered her quickly, "You're going to complain about how you own a fancy house and a car? I don't even have a beat down jalopy!"

Scratching the side of her staff, Eliza rolled her eyes with a groan of her own, "The doldrums of modernity have a few admitted perks. The improved quality and greater quantity of alcohol for one, the ignorance of the masses for another, and yes, limousines and cars are at least a decent consolation prize for the loss of the antiquity."

Despite their conversation, it was clear that they were taking a breather. Eliza's pool had sunk during their battle. Horus and Albus were refilling it with a repurposed fire-truck that was pumping fresh blood into it.

Naruto cracked his neck, attaching his trench-knifes onto his knuckle dusters and bracing them together. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out a fresh lollipop, and stuck it in his mouth like a cigarette. Crunching one half of the candy, he sucked on the other half with a fierce glower to his red eyes.

Filia rolled her hands over her school uniform, dusting it off and making sure no bloodstains were on it. Samson reached out with his tendrils to do the same for their combined hair, clenching one tendril into a fist. Filia reached up and fist-bumped him to indicate her desire to win with him.

Squigly inhaled and exhaled, Leviathan holding a spay bottle in his mouth which he used to lightly rinse her throat out. Finding the right kind of spray which didn't stick to her corpse flesh or ruin it was an adventure in of and itself.

Eliza rotated her staff around, humming a bar or two of one of her songs into the microphone. Sekhmet popped out of her back to scratch her skull with her foot in a very feline way. One eye twisted shut as she got an itch out entirely.

When they had gotten their breath back, Eliza and Sekhmet spoke in unison, "Alright then~! Enough of this entertaining conversation… Round two begins now! Let's enjoy this night, after all, it's still young! An evening of pleasure that will never end, when I win, I will treasure this for an eternity and a half Detective Naruto~!"

ABBA OD reappeared to lunge at them, "I'd rather spend nights counting sheep," he countered in his fighting stance. He mentally let a part of his mind curse his current state after so many fights in such a short amount of time on a single day and prayed that his clone did better.

At least he had good allies, "Now, from the bottom of your stomach, milady!" Leviathan told his lady in a simple transformation: the end of his tail as a microphone stand and his head a large speaker.

Eliza and Sekhmet smiled in a crooked expression of utter deranged delight, "All attempts to stop me are, foolishly, utterly and pathetic useless!" Launching both palms forward, she sent more blood for the elemental. It didn't slow down its charge at the undead singer when the soundwaves started to push back the living wave of blood.

Filia felt bad for him and wished to get him a vacation but was quick to react when the obvious flaw the twisted woman had made itself known, "She's using too much blood, detective."

"Nice eye, but yes." Naruto complimented her and then looked at the pool. "Squigly won't keep her busy forever, but if that woman's using so much blood it's either her trying to reinforce her attacks to keep up with us or...she's preparing something."

"Either way, you've got us backing you up!" Filia cheered, to which Naruto gained a slight smile.

Eliza gave him a wicked grin, "Knowing that won't help you any!" She threw up her hand and ABBA OD flung itself skywards, morphing into a rain of blood spears which dove at the group.

But the detective was ready, "Oh, so you think you're just going to no-sell us? Don't look down on me! Squigly, give us a song!"

"As you wish!" the zombie girl smiled and focused all her power into her vocal chords while her parasite changed once again into a much larger speaker, his mouth opened wide enough to swallow a man. "With a beating heart and all my soul, together!"

The blond stood behind Squigly and lashed with his leg, sending a cutting wave of wind which her voice amplified! The result was a dangerous cutting crescent blade which sliced right through all the spears, a feat which put a disgusted frown on Eliza's face. A clear sign they were doing well.

"Your puppet won't help you any, we got the moves and beats to outdo you, lady." Naruto said as he held his hand and Filia took it, pressing her body on his as if to dance while Squigly posed at their side.

"A bit cheesy, but I liked it." Filia giggled.

Smiling at him, the undead diva asked him with a chuckle behind one hand, "Shall I rock the house down, then? Forgive the lingo, I'm a bit out of date~!"

"Nothing doing, I'm not to judge milady!" he rubbed his head with a wry look.

Samson growled sarcastically, "You walk, talk, and look like a cliché straight from the pulp fiction trash you surround yourself! But I'll be damned if you don't make it work!"

Cutting the conversation cold, Squigly held her hands forward, her eye closed before a melodic wave of sound came from her mouth. As the sonic wave echoed forward, Eliza clapped both hands to her ears, biting her lip with a pained grimace she couldn't let this affront to her auditory senses continue, blood sprayed about her in waves so as to protect her in a bubble of blood, ABBA OD dissolving to help protect its mistress. She held out one hand and pressed it against the surface of the construct, her eyes narrowing before blood spikes ejected from the bubble.

"Irritating detective! You're using that pathetic undead bint as your personal singer!? You disgust me!" she spat out, pressing her fist against her cheek in frustration. "Boys! I want to crush that little wastrel underneath my foot! MOVE!"

"Right away, boss!" Albus saluted her while Horace polished his glasses silently, the bird man's affirmation being a simple nod at his mistress.

Eliza tilted her body forward and it brought the sphere rolling like a literal wrecking ball. Crossing her arms, she gave a look at Albus and Horace who were inside of it with her. Albus dropped to all fours and she sat on Horace's back when the jackal man ran as hard as he could. The giant rolling blood-boulder was now akin to a hamster ball directed by the mistress, along with her two servants!

Holding a hand onto his hat, Naruto threw his other arm to clutch Filia's waist as the duo danced together. Tossing her forward, he sent her at their adversaries. Samson immediately formed into a pair of gnashing wolf heads which snapped and snarled before as they merged into a living drill! They shredded their way against the blood-bubble with their fangs, mindful of the spikes. Samson's eyes glared with absolute and justified hatred at Eliza who waved at him playfully.

She even pantomimed a cat pawing at him with a disturbingly feline look on her face, "Meow~! Samson!"

Pumping his legs harder, Albus rushed forward, forcing the bubble to push against the twin wolf-heads!The momentum of the ball clashed with the fangs of Samson! Filia leaned her body forward, her hands on the ground before she stuck her buttocks out in a classic rising sun yoga pose!

The reason for the arched back was clear, as her hair formed a series of steps that Naruto dashed over, a hand ripping through the bubble! When Eliza thought to shift through her solid momentum, a wave of wind splattered it like a muddy puddle.

Albus landed on his feet, crouching down with a hand held in front of his face, "Not bad private dick, you actually broke the bubble. Not bad at all!"

Eliza got off Horace with a wave of her hand. She crooked an elegant finger towards Naruto, gesturing for him to approach her playfully. The detective pulled his hat down over his eyes silently, glaring at her with blood red eyes under the darkness of his fedora. Her lips twisted into a sad pout, a second or two passed, then it became her usual demonic grin.

Blades of blood popped up, needles of red which the detective dodged with practiced ease! Naruto's right hand was extended out to Filia who gracefully took it. The blond detective held her in both arms and leaned back until she stepped forward after they had moved together, he threw her forward like she was a tango partner, the schoolgirl's fists shot forward with Samson's hair hooking into them, the momentum carrying them right towards their opponent!

"TAKE THIS! YOU PSYCHOPATHIC HARLOT!" Surprisingly, it wasn't Samson who shouted that, it was an anger-engulfed Filia who got down and dirty with the lounge singer! Too surprised to react in time, Eliza received a resounding one-two punch from a pair of morning star shaped fists! Placing one fist underneath Eliza's chin, Filia rose with the blow, leaping up in a flying gazelle uppercut!

With her head pushed up painfully, her body corkscrewed all the way around like a wet dish rag. Recoiling from the blunt trauma it had been struck by, Eliza acted like she was hurt but appearances could be deceiving. Wringing herself back, Eliza licked her plump lips as if the blow hadn't done anything to harm her.

Sekhmet popped out of her hosts body, which twisted itself into a sarcophagus, her organs taking the shape of the Egyptian Gods.

"**My turn..."** she chuckled under her breath. The counter she came up with would impress anyone as she somehow created a flying vehicle out of blood, got into it as a pilot and rammed the two of them!

"Not today, bitch!" Samson pressed a small forest of tendrils against the vehicle which just so happened to resemble certain architecture Naruto had saw in a book about ancient civilizations once.

The detective readied himself, "Hold her there!" Pressing both hands against each other, Naruto had his wrists cupping his fingers, a small glowing blue sphere appeared between both palms. He squeezed down on it and let loose a concussive wave of energy that burst the vehicle into a spray of blood!

Oozing over the floor, her body rejoined Sekhmet before the Theon landed, reforming into Eliza who held both hands into the air and clasped them against her cheek.

"How quaint!" Eliza mocked him. She sat on a swinging crescent moon, her legs dangling over the side as it swayed back and forth. The bladed tip formed a guillotine's sharp edge that combined with the swinging momentum to scythe its way across the battlefield!

Jumping away, Naruto's body pivoted midair, "Alright, your turn, Filia-chan!" a wind cushion enabling him to perform a double-jump and then a triple, each leap throwing his body faster and faster towards her until he became a blond missile! Running below him, Filia pushed her body into a front-flip, Samson punching the ground while she turned them into a living buzz-saw! His spikes moved so fast the air was shooting up sparks, Naruto's body had accelerated until a fireball burst behind him!

"Eat this!" both parasite and chubby user exclaimed. The two missiles crashed into Eliza's blood-crescent, shattering the blade. The schoolgirl was surprised by how it erupted into a storm of flying blood shards after they landed together. A billion glinting crimson fragments soared throughout the air, darting towards them by the deadly dozens!

"Oh no, you don't!" the blond man exclaimed as he used his tie as a lasso to pull the schoolgirl by her ankle! She squeaked but looked beyond thankful as she landed on stumbling legs.

"Tag in! Tag in!" Squigly switched with Naruto. The whiskered detective stood with his back against hers, both hands clasped as if in prayer as the wind surged around him. A double helix engulfed the two of them, Squigly opening her mouth and closing her eye. When she sang, it was like the world stood still. The wind he summoned carried her voice and doubled its potency. Filia stood next to her friend and love interest, arms crossed as she watched the storm of red blood get pushed away by Squigly's voice.

Eliza hummed, walking toward them after she landed with her own microphone up to her lips, "You are not the only songstress, my dear, let's compete and see who possesses the better voice~!"

Her eye narrowed at the crooked songstress' challenge, Squigly opened her mouth and what came from her lips was a melodic wave of harmony that struck a golden note in the air. Eliza countered with a song that could be called sonorous, a powerful imposing voice that was no less harmonic or beautiful.

Their voices struck each other followed by sonic explosions! Every blast caused more tiles to fly up. Blood swirled around, attempting to turn into weapons and strike the zombie girl's comrades! However, all of them were held back by Squigly's abilities as a singer. Not a single weapon made from the crimson tide struck her or those she had come to value.

Surging sonic streams clashed repeatedly, images of Squigly striking Eliza appeared in the air above them followed by images of Eliza and Sekhmet doing the same to Squigly! Their wills were clashing as much as their voices, and both being to a certain degree incapable to feel fatigue meant that they would never need to stop singing against each other.

That was why Squigly kept approaching Eliza, who sauntered towards her in a similar manner. The two women glared at each other when their eyes opened, truly and equal in terms of singing prowess.

Squigly edged out when her voice caught a slight discordant note in Eliza's singing. With the sound of a piano wire snapping, her voice pierced the air and cut through Eliza's voice, sending the woman flying back painfully with her eyes bulging out of her skull, quite literally. Her brain flew out of her head as she hit the wall, peeling herself off it painfully.

Squigly smiled as she stopped singing, her expression one of heavenly delight, "You lost Eliza! At least in singing, I'm your better!"

Claws gripped the sides of the crater that had been formed when she impacted the wall, Sekhmet roaring in response to Squigly's taunting, "**I WILL KILL YOU A THOUSAND TIMES AND IT STILL WON'T BE ENOUGH TO END MY RAGE**!"

Naruto had to quip with a lazy smile, "And people called me a sore loser when I was a kid."

He got ready and wasn't disappointed to see a reaction. Eliza leaped out of the hole, landing on the tile floor on all fours. Sekhmet's tail waved about threateningly and stabbed the ground. Tiles flew skywards as her tail snaked through the tiles around it, blood blades flowing in its path!

Filia understood her attack, "She's tracing a route to attack en masse!"

"**DIE! ALL THREE OF YOU!"** Sekhmet jumped off a wall, kicking a floating blood orb and then another to send cannonballs of blood right at them alongside the flying blades!

"You first, filthy harlot!" Filia countered the cannonballs when she tagged in.

Samson snarled to himself as he expanded in size to a gigantic state with his lips bulging, spat out a group of hairballs and shouted with insurmountable fury, "FUCK OFF ALL THE WAY BACK TO HELL! THIS IS FOR DELILAH, SEKHMET!"

The hairballs had skeletal remains in them ranging from a full cow to other animals arranged in the hair! Samson's projectiles countered his nemesis' cannonballs, hair stopping blood cold!

Sekhmet landed and extended her wrists, waving her fingers and hands like a conductor. She directed the blood-blades around, her tail waving about in intricate patterns that they copied. Eliza's skin hung off her like a robe after it rejoined her.

Sekhmet grinned to herself as her wrath faded, leaving her usual glee when fighting particularly strong or engaging opponents, "**Not terrible Naruto~! You're truly impressing me~! I will make you my own after all of this. You and your exquisite blood!"**

Naruto stood to attention, realizing that she was up to something since she was letting the blood-swords fly around them but never close enough that he could deflect some. She was building up to a feint.

"What are you-" he opened his mouth to continue talking, too late.

She completed what she had been after all along! Her tail wrapped around her wrists like a bandanna and clenched them shut, blood and bones flying up to form a hard shell for the blood-swords above them! The combined movement brought her blood-swords snaking towards them low, sending them flying until they coalesced midair around the hard bone launched skywards, twisting into a spiraling bone and blood drill that blazed through the air!

"**Enjoy this dance!" **the Egyptian woman and Naruto noticed that her assistants – who were of use just as support – had run off.

Looking at the cracks on the ground where she had launched her previous attack, it all clicked, "Girls, hang tight!" He yelled and hugged the two with both arms around a sane parasite user.

Sekhmet destroyed the floor, digging a deeper hole while debris rocketed skywards. Naruto's reaction speed remained top-notch, he kicked off every boulder and broken tile which could've hit him or any of his friends to gain distance between himself and the floor. Sadly, Newton's laws of physics dictated he couldn't stay airborne forever, something his adversary knew and relished on.

"**Come down and play, detective!" **Sekhmet laughed in a second pool of blood, which she spun into a blood whirlpool sprouting blood-blades, spears and jagged pieces of debris to make the trio a fine paste or at the very least ground beef. **"Join me for your final swim!"**

His response surprised her, "Gladly!"

Sekhmet's bony face twisted in shock when the detective kicked off another midair piece of debris and landed on the crimson maelstrom...and rode the current with his feet! Even Filia and Squigly had to let out shocked gasps when he surfed over the blood with his shoes. Disgust filled his head at the thought of his best pair of shoes getting stained with the woman's food, but he swallowed and kept a straight face and massive, cheeky if lazy grin.

"**What!? How**!?" Sekhmet asked while he used the current to jump out of the blood from the surface to pieces of debris until he landed on the tiles she hadn't destroyed.

"Blood's thicker than water, isn't that what people say?" he asked with a smirk, "I've got a trick to walk over water, and you made it easier, like landing on a conveyer belt."

"**Clever little sneak…Chakra, wasn't it?" **Sekhmet complimented him before returning to being Eliza, her skin reforming.

Filia was put down along Squigly, the schoolgirl looking disappointed for a brief second, but decided to make the detective proud, "If you're done with your tricks, let's return to fighting face to face."

Naruto snickered, "I've taught her well."

With a good chunk of blood lost, Eliza had to reevaluate her first but not last elaborate plan ruined**,** a gleeful smirk twisted her lips. "Ah, let's try that one out again~!" Eliza twisted a fist around after snickering, ABBA OD appearing behind her from the endless amounts of blood surrounding them, "Go." It hopped back, dancing itself as it flowed around a follow up kick from the detective, a wind blade echoing out and cutting a crevice into the bathhouse.

He surprised it by placing both hands on the ground, pushing his body into an acrobatic spin-kick on both hands. The wind pushed him into the air, levitating his entire body and rotating him upright. He held out a leg, his fist under the abomination's chin as he formed a tornado from the force!

"_**Uzumaki Shippu**_!" He couldn't help but name the technique after himself as the tornado charged forward.

The blood elemental flew back due to the lack of weight or substance behind its appearance, hitting the wall with a wet splash. It reformed quickly after it was splattered, then held out both hands, turning them into a pair of pyramid-shaped shields which it collapsed around its body.

Sitting down on a throne made of blood, Eliza held out a hand, a wine glass being placed in her manicured grip, and the mixer from before used to pour in blood and wine mixed together for her imbibing pleasure.

Squigly was stunned by this disregard for combat, her red eye narrowed sharply before she asked Eliza, one arm held out in front of her, Leviathan curling about said limb and snapping at the woman viciously, "Are you honestly pausing to satisfy your need to drink alcohol and the innocent life-blood of your victims?!"

"Mnnnh~!" Eliza held up her finger, shaking it from side to side mockingly, indicating that she meant to finish her drink before she participated again.

Despite its guard, it was thrown skywards by his attack, soaring skywards, he held out both hands behind him. Leaning back with eyes closed, he let gravity carry him and his enemy back to earth, twin wind-cushions caught his legs when he hit the ground.

His hat was gripped in one hand, coat flowing around his body, which allowed it to hide his partners movement behind him. One blue eye looked to the side; his head tilted slightly so he could watch Eliza with a careful gaze.

Eliza continued sipping from a wine glass, one eye closed as she held a finger up at Naruto's questioning gaze, "Mnnnh~."

He looked at Squigly who lowered her head, her bone hand clenching shut before she spun about, walking back into the fray with her shoulders shaking from barely restrained fury. He joined her, placing a hand on her flesh arm and patting it sympathetically. Leviathan rubbed her opposite shoulder to convey the same feeling.

"We're going to make her dance to our tune." He flashed a grim look behind his back, Eliza waving playfully at him in response to his glare.

Enacting a swayback, his head stared right at her, upside down from his position leaning back as a blood whip twirled above where his head just had been. One hand was coated in a calm breeze, preparing his next strike, he moved like a top, pirouetting around. His right leg flashed in the air like a shimmering blade and moved in unison with his hand to throw out a pair of wind-blades right at her!

Eliza tilted her head to the side, her eyes closed as the first wind blade eviscerated a tile behind her. She dipped her head forward, the second deadly gale splitting her throne's upper section in half. The blood seat regenerated quickly, and she downed another sip of her drink. One eye slit open, black on yellow staring at the detective with undisguised attraction.

Squigly held out her arm, her eye closed as she walked next to him in a true and utter huff. Naruto took it, moving with her body pressed against his. The two then started to waltz together.

"The same dance as ever, milady?" he asked her playfully. She pressed her head against his chest as it was customary for proper waltzing, "I hate to say a such a goofy line, but dancing with you feels au natural!"

She chided him politely, her smile indicating she wasn't as upset as she might pretend, "Be mindful of the time and place, Detective Naruto! We are still but partners in a dance, proper courting can wait until a better time!" She let go of his body, performing a ballerina swivel with both hands held above her head, Squigly still had her eye still closed. Then it snapped open just as Leviathan let loose an undulating yowl, the waves of sonic force were augmented by his fiery breath!

"C-c-c-cold breath!" He announced as the fire turned as deep blue to freeze the air, the ground, and the blood around them. Eliza clapped behind them, ABBA OD dodged back and swirled around. Transfiguring itself into a tornado much like its mistress had prior, it whipped itself into a frenzy, gathering heat and momentum to set itself into a boiling burning state!

Naruto swung his body from side to side, bobbing his head up and down to the rhythm of the music that roared its way through his blood and his very brain. The heat of battle, the pulse of the fight, the staccato of noise that only true swing could grant him. All of it culminated in him drawing one fist back.

It wasn't with a bang or a whimper but a blast that he slugged it forward. The room shook as a squall was concentrated and focused into a single meteoric motion. When it came out, his fist moved faster than the very concept of sound. The shockwave of that light-speed jab brought the fight to a stand-still, as it ripped through the room and hurtled towards a silently drinking Eliza.

In front of her, gushing out like a brook, came several blood walls, each one layering on top of each other like molasses shooting up and out in the guise of geysers! They were punctured done by one until a spiral wall materialized from five different streams of blood, only imploding when the gale had been reduced enough that when it broke through, it lightly blew across her face. Her eyes were closed as she sighed in bliss, her hair fluttering gently in the cool breeze.

"So much better than the khamsin of the desert~! Ahah…ACK?!" her laughter was cut short when a second blow, weaker than the first, whacked her in the face.

Pushing her head to the side, the wind attack silenced her totally. A bruise appeared then disappeared in record time on her prideful face. Wrenching her head back with several cracking noises. A warped smile on her face split it open. Naruto's other fist lowered back to his hip. Flashing her a lazy grin, he tipped his hat at her mockingly.

"I love that man~! Don't disappoint me, Naruto!" she begun to refer to him by his first name rather than his last. His back was turned to her, which was why he didn't see ABBA OD sneaking up on him.

"Naruto! Behind you!" Filia's warning hailed him, he tilted his body to the side, holding both hands on the ground to make a u-shape with his body, he did that dodge in just the nick of time! ABBA OD pierced the area he was just in, already in its heat-seeker mode, its tendrils raced through the air attempting to strangle him to death!

He tucked in his body into a ball, and dodged out of the way, the tendrils snared his leg and he held both hands palm down against each other, "Get off of me, and beat it!"

A combined pair of tornadoes launched him away from her ability, slurping itself into a twisted bundle of ropey blood strands, several tendrils wiggled their way up and out of the main body. Tilting from side to side, they analyzed the room, hunting for Filia and Naruto.

"Detective Naruto, just wait, I'll-" Squigly meant to make her way to them, going for a repeat of the last time she dealt with ABBA OD, but Eliza was quicker on the uptake.

Her eyes closed in irritation, and she tapped on the floor twice with a huff, "Albus, Horace. Stop her! Now! I won't have her interrupt my game again!"

"On it, boss!"

"Right away, mistress!" her two servants responded in agreement with her order.

Eliza turned away, watching Filia and Naruto get forced to contend with ABBA OD on their own.

Squigly, suffice to say, was kept busy by Albus and Horace attacking her as a combined unit. Albus popped in and out of man-hole covers that somehow were hidden by the tiles around them to grab her and toss her around, even as Horace was charging her down and kept throwing hay-makers then leaping away before she could counter attack! Only to rejoin the fight with flying kicks that leveled the tiles around them into rubble.

The pressure they kept on her to keep her away from ABBA OD was more than real, which was why she surprised both when her temper snapped. Her patience was frayed, and she was tired of indulging their antics.

"Leviathan! Aid me!" she held out one hand, Leviathan snapping out like a whip and lashing the two servants away from her in two quick strikes. Reeling him back, he grew to a magnificent size, towering above an irate Squigly.

"Enough! Begone! Both of you mere thugs are privy to a disgusting bane of humanity and decency itself!" Leviathan was the one who spoke next, his cheeks bulged to the point that flames were bursting from his puckered lips, "BURN!" at the moment he couldn't hold it back anymore, he let loose his normally purple fire as it came out a scorching white!

So hot were the white flames, they burned the tiles into molten slag. The flames reflecting off of his glasses, Horace took a step back, Albus whistled to himself and put on a pair of sunglasses, "Shit just got real."

The crackling flames brought with them the heady scent of boiling blood, a red vapor filling the room in a thin miasma.

"Well said. Time to depart until mistress needs us," Realizing their job was done, Horace and Albus both made like a tree and leaved, returning to other parts of the bathhouse until Eliza needed them again.

"Detective Naruto! Filia! Samson!" Squigly was ready to reach them again now that she had removed the distractions.

"No, I think you shall not interrupt my fun, you filthy worm-infested husk," Eliza tapped her staff against the ground, swinging it around her body in a motion that suggested a scythe cutting down wheat. Sure enough, the flames around her were sent scattering, embers crackling in the pits of her pitch-black eyes, "You have been a bothersome pest to my enjoyment, Leviathan. Why do you still linger in the corpse of your former host?"

Leviathan responded to her cruel words in his usual polite manner, however, the scorn he heaped upon every syllable and word brought with them anger in their wake, "Because she is my mistress. Because I love her as my own child. Because, unlike you, I have something more important to me than shallow pleasure. It's called duty, honor, and loyalty!"

Sekhmet emerged out of Eliza's body, the staff rammed down into the tile surround the body, "**Wretched filth! I'll rip the very flesh from your body and leave you naught but marrow and cadaver**!" Firmly incensed now, she didn't hesitate to attack with all her considerable strength.

Turning to face her down, Squigly reached out with her hand, and pointed down with her bone thumb. The meaning was clear, she would be the one to put Eliza down and not the other way around.

Sekhmet blurred towards Squigly, both claws out and ready to tear flesh from bone, her blinding rage prevented her from realizing that Leviathan wasn't encircled around Squigly like he normally was. Then she realized that Squigly had kicked a tile as hard as she could, an open hole somehow formed which she stumbled into, confused beyond belief she fell into the black pit that had somehow swallowed her.

Looking up when she noticed a shadow over head her eyes shrank after she saw a tombstone made from tile crashing down on top of her head to punish her. Crushing her under its weight, Squigly twirled Leviathan's tail in her hand, shaking her hips even while she heard furious claws breaking the tombstone apart.

Sekhmet burst out of the hole as tile fragments fell off of her body, but too late as Squigly had already reached her comrades again.

Eliza reformed around Sekhmet, the dusky skinned woman groaning in frustration, "Unfortunate, I'll have to take direct command then~!" This she realized with utter delight, as she controlled the movements of ABBA OD accordingly.

ABBA OD snaked around a melodic blast from Squigly. Said sonic strike took the form of a purple wreathed musical note, the sonic explosion detonating harmlessly as it attacked Naruto and Filia directly. Its tendrils speared forward in its heat-seeking mode, trying to impale the detective and his partner with extreme prejudice.

Thankfully, neither of them was caught unaware. Naruto's tie wrapped around Filia's waist and pulled her against his body. She took the hint and held her hands up. Holding the schoolgirl in his arms, the two danced together. Dodging each tendril by swinging their bodies to the groove of Naruto's inner swing.

By being that close to each other they knew what was about to happen in the other's mind and resonated accordingly. Filia ducked an axe-shaped swing from a tendril, her hand taken by Naruto's own to dodge in unison a trio of sword thrusts from three other tendrils. The blond detective tilted her in a dip just nearly letting a scythe fly over their head.

The bloody-entity morphed its arms into wings, flying forward to cut them in half just Filia popped up from in front of him, his hands grabbed her own in a swinging pose, tilting his hips forward and then all the way back up, he launched her up and over his head, ducking down with his hand gripping his hat.

Samson already shifting into a pair of stag-horns that sent the elemental flying back once more! Filia was caught in mid-air, held bridal style by the detective who gave her a rakish grin, emboldened by the heat of battle she didn't hesitate to peck him on the cheek.

Their little moment was interrupted suddenly as ABBA OD righted itself in midair. Landing down and skating on the blood-soaked floor, it dipped its limbs down, sucking up blood on the floor with wet gulping pumps of its limbs.

They both had to dodge a thrown scarab when its arm flung itself out, the dangerous insect shot past them, its bladed wings cutting through the air like a hot knife through butter!

Another joined its path, before a third and even a fourth, the quartet of beetles rocketed about like a stone slung from a sling! Bouncing off every available surface, the trio were hard pressed to dodge every single ricochet.

When he nearly got his hat cut apart was when the detective had enough. Naruto held both hands together, then drew them apart as he prepared to clap. His expression one of pure concentration.

"Please help us!" Filia giggled to him, much too calm about the situation, he looked at her with a smirk crossing his face, "You know I will!"

Squigly smiled to herself, enjoying the battle to a degree that enthralled her, "You're drawing us into your tempo Detective Uzumaki, I can't say I don't love how you're doing it though!"

Ducking behind him with her hands over her ears, Filia closed her eyes playfully as Squigly ducked into an open hole that had been created during the brawl, Leviathan poking his head up before she tugged him down as the reason for their dodging was made clear.

When the detective clapped his hands together at last a wave of air rippled out, it was silent at first. Until a _pop _was heard, then the entire bath-house was sent into an explosive concussive blast!

Sending every scarab exploding into a rain of blood, Squigly got up and out of thehole, Filia standing up from behind him.

Several fragments of blood rolled about on the tiles connecting together in a long series of lines that went across the surface of the floor and into the pool of blood.

It took a second for the trio to realize why the symbol was alarming them, as it vaguely resembled a crescent with several arrow-like blades jutting from it. When it erupted up, they had to dodge the follow up strike as the arrows went everywhere. Piercing through the air, ripping rivets into the walls, and sending fragments flying everywhere.

Naruto held both arms out, his legs doing the split as several arrows were between the gaps, Filia was rolled into a ball, Samson's hair had created a protective spiky layer, Squigly was protected by Leviathan encircling around her entire body. The parasite users clearly had been able to block the arrows, while Naruto had to merely make due with dodging.

The two looked apologetically at him, Filia asking him in concern, "Naruto! Are you alright?"

"As Peachy might say, could do without the stiffness, but the rest of me is doing fine!" he slid onto his legs painfully, the arrows withdrawing back to a large floating globule of crimson liquid.

"Think we got another dance or three in us girls and guys?" he asked, cracking his neck with an exhausted groan.

Filia twisted her head about, seeing Eliza had finished her drink by this time. She held both hands to her cheeks, leaning forward with an interested smirk, her foot tapping against her thigh every few seconds.

Squigly placed a hand against her chin, thinking with Leviathan scratching her cheek with his pointy head, "Well, it'd be our first duet, so you might want to follow my lead, alright Detective Uzumaki?"

"Milady, it'd be my honor to be your partner," he said graciously, her red eye looked upon him with genuine delight, "You're truly my kind of gentlemen Detective, keep up now, and let me perform my concert!"

"Squigly on the road? That's my jam, milady," he flirted openly, Filia puffed her cheeks up with a pout, "Don't forget I'm here too Naruto!"

Samson tugged on her arm with a furry hand, shaking his head at her obvious jealousy about the flirting, "Kid, c'mon. It's Squigly's time to shine, better let her sing now."

As the globule reformed its body, arms and legs plus a head and torso forming, it regathered its constitution just in time it seemed when Squigly walked past the two partners with a confident strut.

Naruto took a bow with his arms in a go-ahead pose, Filia curtsying with a lady-like bow of her head as Squigly took the stage, brushing a single lock of hair from her face, the undead singer bobbed her hips rapidly.

Taping a foot on the floor, she nodded her had with a closed eye, Leviathan enveloping her entire body as her eye slowly opened up. When it did, Leviathan's jaws opened wide and he breathed a storm of purple fire out like a tide of destruction!

Each wave upon wave of the violet flames spread from section of the bathhouse to another, lighting them up and giving the 'stage' they fought upon an eerie glow. She politely held out one hand, the blond man taking it with a humble incline of his head. When he moved with her, she led the dance.

Hand over his own, she waltzed with him, making it all the way to the unbalanced sanguine creature, when he let go of Squigly, Leviathan struck like the dragon he was.

Blowing a gout of scorching heat into the copper colored creature's face, he brought it low, bubbles popping in its appearance and bringing its stability even lower than before.

"Bravissimo! Bravissimo~! You are simply fantastic Naruto~!" Eliza had excitedly gotten off her throne, cracking her neck with a coiled look to her body, preparing to rejoin the fight at any moment.

Squigly walked past Naruto who bowed to her, when she held out her hand again, Filia took it. The two danced together, moving in rhythm with the blond taking up the rear. The trio passed the other around, Filia was tossed into the air, allowing for Samson to smash down with his fists, the undead singer and the detective moved together next.

Holding a hand in front of Leviathan's mouth, a funnel of wind emerged from it just as Leviathan's breath hit it! A make-shift flamethrower hit the blood-being, Squigly and Naruto stepping in turn with each other, his other hand waltzing with hers, when he let go, Filia took the lead next.

Together, with their bodies pressed together alluringly, the amnesiac closed her eyes tightly, Squigly smiling gently as she led her partner around.

Samson and Leviathan nodded at the other, then coiled together, forming a united being of hair and bone! Resembling a titanic masculine figure with a hair blade, flowing black locks, and a chiseled face, the fused Parasite rose its blade into the air, towering far above the bathhouse and leaving nowhere to run. When it crashed the sword down like the hammer of god, the monstrous creature was crushed under its weight.

"JUDGEMENT! IS! PASSED!" The two parasites roared as one unified voice, Naruto held out his hands, Filia and Squigly separating from each other as did Leviathan and Samson, and took his grip, together, the three took a bow.

Shaking like a jelly-mold, the blood-creature tried to attack before it fell apart, dissolving into little more than popping bubbles.

"And that, is how you dance with me Detective Uzumaki. Please continue to impress me. You've done it so very well thus far, ahaha~!" Squigly tilted her head and gave an adorable little giggle with her one eye turned into a happy U, to accentuate her joy her hands gripped together in front of her face in a girlish clasp.

They grew serious as Eliza strut her stuff towards them, the woman having slid across the floor to rejoin the battle now that they had successfully dealt with her ability so easily.

"Weakling, weakling, and not so weakling~!" Eliza taunted each of the parasite hosts and then pointed at Naruto, her body leaning back at a tilt with one finger pointing right at his head. Sekhmet emerged from her back, crossing both arms, Eliza's own eyes going pitch black and hollow.

Pushing both fists against the other, Naruto snapped his red eyes open all the way, one tail, a second, a third, and then a fourth begun to emerge and bubble up until he restrained himself if only barely.

"Naruto… It's alright," Filia gave him a gentle nod, her smile reassuring him while holding his hand, "Don't hold back. Fight with all your strength! I'll support you!"

Squigly took his other hand, gripping it tightly in her bone fist, "As will I, Detective Naruto. If you have a new card to play, then unleash it with impunity. We'll fight alongside you regardless."

He looked up at the ceiling in gratitude for their words, "Thanks…both of you." when his eyes closed, the fourth tail emerged. His body twitched before a red spray of blood and mist coated his appearance. The two girls had to let go of his hands as the shroud of dark energy coated his hands down to the body. His clothes were consumed in the wash of power, the red tails waving about threateningly. His facial features became obscured by the shroud, turning them into terrifying white outlines. Blank white eyes, a mouthful of sharp fangs, the monstrous nature of which didn't intimidate Filia or Squigly.

When he looked at them slightly, they knew he was still Naruto on the inside and nodded back, reassuring him. The wind cooed softly, wrapping around his body and transcending its normal state. Translucent limbs and clothes contained his body within their grip. Replicas of his hat, coat, and tie covered his body save for the pants and shirt. Bracers of a certain shape instead contained his limbs in rings, enabling him the scope of movement he normally had.

"**Hah…hah…HAH! HAH! GRAAAAGHHH…ELIZZZAAAAAAAAA**!"

Shocking everyone, he maintained perfect control over himself, if awash in deep and ever-burning hatred and wrath. Lowering his head toward her, the rings around his limbs pumped up and down, pushing him into motion! Like a living wrecking ball, he rushed into Sekhmet's embrace, wind claws covering his fists and clashing with her own bone claws. His head pressed against her own bony one, boiling blood and energy clashed with her own bones and blood.

"**Incredible~! Simply incredible~! Your strength, the aroma of your blood, it's like an eternal feast! Give me more Naruto! Fear!? Terror!?**" The Theon spoke to him, blood claws ripping into his flesh and sending energy flying into the air, "**Things like that, I don't feel them anymore! Death itself does not faze me! But you do! I want you give me more! Excite me until I can't think of anything but you~!**"

The rancid romance of two monsters meeting was enough to make Naruto's inner-self sick in a twisted way, that said he could understand there was a mutual attraction between him and the woman. He had no idea how to play this game, but he was going to keep trying until he beat her.

"**YOU TALK TOO MUCH**!" The crimson humanoid fox creature hollered, pummeling the skeletal cat against the ground, using his knees to pin the parasite down and keep punching with no mercy, hammering his fists into the madwoman's hidden face.

"**Don't cut the fun so short!**" Sekhmet snarled as a blood spear shout below them, shooting the crimson chakra cloaked man into the ceiling, making a large dent and shocking her, "**Amazing... My blood, it can't cut through you? Just how many more surprises do you have, Naruto?**"

"He has us!" Filia shouted mid-flight toward the cackling parasite.

"**Do NOT interrupt my first good time with a man!**" the skeleton cat snarled and threw a hand forward, the other keeping Naruto pinned against the wall with a dozen more blood spears that couldn't get past his red chakra armor.

Blood sickles flew straight at the schoolgirl, whose hair turned into a pair of beetle wings to near her and throw a kick. Sekhmet would've laughed more, expecting to see the girl's clothes shredded to pieces, her beaten body, and a weakened, fearful expression. None of those ever came thanks to Squigly!

"From the bottom of the ribs, milady!" Leviathan hurried her as she inhaled and then blasted a bubble of sound to collide against the sickles, watching it burst into gales of wind which flicked the blood back.

"**Gah!**" Sekhmet exclaimed more from the kick to the face she got than the anger from seeing her sickles splatter the floor. "**Why you little...**"

Her anger decreased at the sound of a thud followed by pure primal rage, "**Don't you dare insult them!"** Naruto charged her directly, abusing her lowered guard thanks to Filia and Squigly's distraction.

Flinging her as far up as his limbs could knock her, his four tails ripped into the tiled floor and threw a barrage of the items out like a hail of kunai and shuriken! The rotating razor-sharp floor tiles had the same effect as the weapons he once used in combat. And shredded their way through Sekhmet's bony body!

Snarling, the parasite smiled at him, getting off to the pain, "**Not bad at all! But you can't just leave a woman wanting more!**"

Holding both claws out, she revealed a crazy and effective new move. Blood poured out in a fountain of red liquid, swirling in front of Sekhmet and bringing Eliza's body back to her! Eliza, restored, gained a red crown to her normal hair, warped her legs into those of a harpy's, bone claws and all, and flapped a pair of crimson wings!

Just as she meant to dive bomb him, the ceiling rumbled above them!

"SEEEEKHMEEEEEET!"

A face Naruto had seen once popped from the falling debris, twisting and morphing in a tangled mess of muscle, fat, veins, arteries, flesh and bones. What struck Sekhmet hard enough to crack her skull was the same being that had copied his form. And once she landed, the form it took was of the woman she used to be, the same woman Naruto had seen at his office but in a nun attire.

She turned to Naruto with purely red eyes, no pupils or irises, just pools of crimson. Naruto gave out the mother of all growls as he changed to normal. His allies ran to his side while he breathed out deeply and looked at the blonde nun. She looked at him with coldness but an undeniable spark of something. It was no disgust or animosity, it felt like a small level of gratitude.

"You aren't here out of the kindness of your heart, are you?" the detective asked her with his friends aid to get back up.

"I figured you'd find this wretched woman sooner or later..." the nun sneered when turning to the slowly but surely reforming Sekhmet; Eliza's skin needed time to put itself together as she used most of her blood to repair the crack on her skull.

"Detective, are you...?" Filia asked and Naruto shook his head.

"Don't worry...using that form is an awful idea..." he got up and – while breathing raggedly – he looked as ready as ever to fight, "I just need to catch my breath. I've got the trick down, I've not had enough times to practice it since...just now."

Eliza...only laughed, "Kehe...kehehehehehe..."

"What are you laughing about, you abhorrent monster?" Double asked with icy venom lacing every single syllable and boiling rage coursing her blood.

"I can't enjoy myself with all of you between the detective and me..." Eliza smiled with a hint of a snarl on her face, "Until next time, I suppose."

"You're not getting away!" Double exclaimed, but Eliza laughed louder.

"No! This is still amusing! You are denied your revenge again when you thought you'd catch me! It is the perfect payback for cutting off my first worthwhile time with a man!"

Double lunged forward, her body morphing into Naruto's with wind blades circling her arms, tornadoes of death to cut her into pieces. To her side was the real deal, followed by Filia and Squigly. All four of the insane narcissist's enemies made sure to cut every way and angle she could escape to. Low, high, left and right. And yet, Eliza merely held up a hand...with a remote control in it and a big red button on top.

Moments later, Naruto would be sitting on an expensive Egyptian cough with Filia on his lap and Squigly at his side. In front of them, on an ornate chair with the same motif as their couch, was a glaring Double. All around them nothing but debris, smoke, and destruction decorated the place where Eliza's bathhouse once stood. The blood pool was gone along the insane diva, her servants, and any clue she could've had.

"So, you're taking this well..." Naruto said as he dusted his outfit, getting some soot off.

"Don't be deceived, I am enraged beyond words to the point of lunacy, but...you got close to her and I'd lie if I said I don't want to be there and then when you do so again." Double admitted with cold eyes.

"You do know I am after the truth. Including what you are, why you hate Sekhmet so much, and what the Skullgirl truly is." He told her sincerely.

Double stared into the distance, "You're an incorrigible man. But I owe you a debt for finding Sekhmet after centuries of searching for the wretch. For now, I will stand aside. But Detective, if you continue to look into the truth…I will become your enemy." She got up, walking away from the deck chair.

"I have no intention of stopping. That's my promise to you. And to a very important princess, I owe her and her mother the closure and peace destroying that abominable Skullheart will grant them." He got off of the chair, Filia and Squigly taking his side.

Double looked skywards, her hands clasped in prayer, "Then know that you go against my will. And are my enemy. And if you are my enemy…" She turned her head, her eyeballs a blank white, "Then I will have no mercy against you or anyone you call your own."

"Back at you, Dora Lovelace." He tipped his hat to her, the four walking away in separate directions.

Naruto knew he had to get back to his clone, Nadia, Princess Parasoul, and the Black Egrets. Double knew she had her own 'partners' to meet with. Not the least of which was Valentine. And the Skullgirl herself.

A time when all of them would fight was fast approaching. But for the moment, they were not enemies.


	11. Balrog Boogie

**Bold for demon speech, Painwheel speech, or similar characters talking.**

_**Bold and Italic for attack names.**_

_Italic for thoughts and flashbacks._

Recommended listening.

Parov Stelar- Beatbuddy Swing.

Let's Bounce- Gavin Luke.

Diablo Swing Orchestra- Kevlar Sweethearts.

Miles Davis Quintet- It never entered my mind.

The Ultimate Show: Super Paper Mario OST.

Parov Stelar- Ragtime Cat Ft. Lilja Bloom(Lunch Break) Ft. NEILAND.

Thunderbolt Fantasy OST: Lang Wu Yao.

X-X-X-X-X

"Now, what to do with you?" Naruto asked spinning one of his trench-knives repeatedly in a hand.

At his side Nadia had her claws out and was sharpening them against a whetstone, humming cheerfully every few seconds as she eyed how her claws were becoming increasingly razor-sharp. In front of the two odd animalistic goofs, Black Dahlia sat tied up with her gathered mob underlings.

The cyborg woman scoffed at him, "You're a detective, not a torturer, don't try to scare me, my dear. You are several decades too young to give me much more than a bit of stage fright."

Cheering as he lifted his hand and let the knife fall into his sleeve, the blond man answered her with no worry in his life, "I don't need to, I can sniff you...so to speak. I'm no dirty old man."

"Do you think your detective skills can really give you anything?" the assassin asked, but Naruto ignored her and simply examined her, letting his every sense take her in. "This isn't a cheap, badly written scene from a detective show where you find the clue with a glance."

"I can track down people using either leads or a special skill of mine," he shut his eyes and focused on an ever-reliable trick from his youth: "Talking to get you to look at things my way."

"Are you mocking me!?" the gunwoman snapped, finding it downright incredible how he fooled around, or so it seemed.

"No, I'm being realistic. After all, you are one of the new Skullgirl's targets, are you not?" he asked with a soft, laidback chuckle, "Now, you aren't really being of much help to us, but it's fine. I can only imagine a world of change if the princess wanted to lure the new toy of the Skull Heart out. Bait does wonders..."

Due to her ghostly pale complexion, Black Dahlia couldn't show any further lack of color on her skin, and thus her eye conveyed her horror, "Y-you can't be..."

"Aw, see, that's for the princess to decide." Naruto chuckled warmly, tilting down his hat. "I'm not the boss of her. Let alone a guy with any real say on what happens to criminals when caught. But we both do know the biggest threat here, and if you aren't of help, well... Princesses DO make decisions."

"She is not like that! What would her people say!?" the hitwoman argued, but her shaking said she took his words seriously.

"What say you, Your Highness?" Naruto asked with a casual smile to the strong-willed woman.

"It's a matter of publicity." Parasoul said coldly, "We know her trajectory so far... And there is a prison, a fine if rather simple, low note place for criminals. Leaving you there with the Egrets as the only guards, I can imagine we'd see the Skullgirl take a turn for a quick stop."

"The…hell!? What kind of princess are you saying that sort of thing?!" Black Dahlia asked, her anger hiding a genuine undertone of fear. Without her armaments, she didn't fancy her chances fighting the Skullgirl. Even though she had been created for that explicit purpose, she was quite literally disarmed, preventing her from engaging even if she wanted to.

Parasoul didn't answer her, staring instead at the waters lapping around the wharf, "This case will lead us to the end of the Skullgirl as a threat itself… Isn't that what you suspect, Naruto?"

He looked in the same direction she did, "Yeah. If I get to the bottom of this case, I can free your family of the curse it has suffered ever since Queen Nancy died."

Yellow eyes closed in sad contemplation, "You truly loved my mother. I can't say it's uncommon. After all, everyone in the Kingdom adored her."

Naruto chuckled grimly, even bitterly to himself, "Your mother did me a kindness, sorry I never told you of it. Ten years ago, I was starving while Nadia-chan was busy with a job, money was especially tight for us back then. I saw the queen in a procession, going through the entire city. She was personally handing out food to the masses. She enjoyed doing that, it made her feel closer to her beloved people and subjects."

"My mother loved giving back to the people. She believed that royalty had three loyalties above all others. First was to their people, second was to their kingdom, and the third was to their family."

That was a personal philosophy that for years had stuck with Parasoul. Queen Nancy had taught her many things when she was young, but the one that stuck the harder was their concept of Noblesse Oblige. The obligation as the highest rung of nobility to take for those without the opportunity she had.

He sighed at a sourer memory, "Your father... no. Former King Renoir…had it in reverse."

Parasoul agreed, "At first I used to see it his way, then when I became acting princess, I realized my mother was right." Canopy's leading princess explained to her detective, who chuckled grimly, looking far into the distance, seeing the past as if a tapestry was unfolding before them.

In the waters, they saw the images of the past. A shivering blond fifteen-year-old looking up at a gently smiling woman, the queen of the entire kingdom, as she held out a bowl of soup with a large bread crest floating in it. The kind, loving smile she flashed at the teenager who devoured the meal and was then given seconds, thirds, and even fourths stayed with him ever since then.

"I owe your mother a debt I can never repay enough times over to you or Umbrella. I'll spend the entirety of my life serving you and your sister to repay what I owe Queen Nancy."

Parasoul gained a slight smile. Rare for her, even rarer to direct it at the detective who worked so hard for her. Her hand hesitated, but landed on his back, the detective admiring the waves with her. Nadia let them have the moment. The princess had given her time, after all.

They turned their attention to Black Dahlia, who was struggling impotently to work herself free, even going so far as attempting to lean forward and bite the knots that were tied around her, "You'll pay for-" Nadia quickly placed a makeshift ball-gag into her mouth in the form of the woman's hat.

"Here, enjoy the fiber." Miss Fortune quipped with a sassy smile. "So, what's the plan now?"

The clone shrugged, "Anything the boss and our princess can agree unless she wants to get something out of her system." He smiled warmly if lazily at her.

Breathing out in an exhale, Parasoul shook her head, letting fiery red waves flow about her face, "Enough nostalgia, Naruto. My mother died trying to bring the Great War to an end, in the process becoming a Skullgirl uniting all against her. I shall not make the same mistake. My life, and Umbrella's is too precious to waste without due cause. Let us get rid of this pawn and make plans to capture the king above her."

She spun her parasol, keeping it in front of her with her hands leaning upon it as she gave her command.

Naruto gave her an obedient bow, "Of course, Princess, as you wish." The blond took his place at her side as Nadia rotated her shoulders around, her teeth bared in a sadistic grin as she stared at Black Dahlia.

Miss Fortune got to say a piece she held in her heart for a while, "For over five years, I've waited for my revenge. You have no idea how long I waited to get back at you, but now that I have you in my grasp… I realize you're not worth it." She turned her back on Black Dahlia, "I'll see you in prison, bitch. I'll brick you in myself, but I never want to see you ever again. Not in this life at least."

She stared at the water, looking at it with a faint grin. She remembered every member of the Fishbone gang, the family that she had lost was finally getting the justice they deserved, and it was thanks to Naruto. She felt her love for him grow ever more powerful, because of the private detective she had finally gotten a chance to put down one of the demons of her past.

Nadia turned around to face Naruto, who had placed a hand on her shoulder, "I'm here, Nadia-chan. Now, we should meet up with Filia-chan and the boss. Whatever they've uncovered will no doubt lead us to the next destination we'll hit up." He said as she leaned against him, his hand gripping her shoulder gently.

"Naruto. It's time to go." Her words brought a tired but well-deserved grin to his face.

"Right, let's get a move on." The Black Egrets loaded each of their prisoners up in a prison van, shutting the doors shut without much fanfare.

Not far off, looking at the arrest from a great distance, Cerebella's eyes bulged through the binoculars she had in front of her. A tick mark throbbed over her right temple and pulsed. Behind her, Feng had a telescope in hand and was staring at the sight of Naruto and a strange cat-girl she had never seen before filing behind the crown Princess of the entire nation in a second truck.

The petite Dragon Empire girl swiftly put distance between her and a rambling Cerebella, "Whiskers! You jerk! What are you doing with Black Dahlia - even if I don't like her 'that' much - and a bunch of our guys!? I come out here to see you, and you pull this stunt behind my back!? JERK! I'll clobber you for this!"

The acrobat stomped her foot down as hard as she could over the building she overlooked from, only to wince when her foot plowed through the sodden wood and sent a few planks falling into the room below.

"Please keep your temper in check or we'll crash into the basement." Feng said with a whimper.

"Ulp…s-sorry! Oh…I feel bad about knocking out that Dagonian so we could use his roof as a vantage point." Cerebella winced when she saw how an eel like Dagonian was tied to his chair in the room below them, a throbbing bump over his head and a cartoonish array of spinning ramen bowls floating around his skull. His eyes were set in a pair of comedic spirals with his tongue hanging from his lips.

Feng looked down, wincing a little herself, "Y-yeah…not our best move Cassandra…"

"We j-just have to follow and knock Whiskers off his pedestal." Cerebella argued weakly.

"Yeah, how can we catch up to..." Feng stopped, not once stopping her ever vigilant stare. "Wait, is that another detective with...some schoolgirl and a...a girl in a Halloween costume?"

"What!?" Cerebella asked just in time to see the real Naruto approach the truck with a lazy wave, Filia, a girl he had never seen before, and a friendly wave at the driver.

X-X-X-X-X

"Hey, I hope you had more luck than us." Original Naruto told his clone.

"Sort of, boss. Not much of a clue, but we got bait and... you know, I better just let you know so you tell it to Filia-chan and the new girl." The clone dispelled himself, Naruto absorbing his information with a sigh.

"Yeah, leave the lengthy explanation to me, you lazy me..." he grunted and ruffled his hair.

"Something the matter, detective?" Leviathan asked.

Nadia took that time to get off the truck, "Yo, Naruto, what's keeping... Who are you?"

"Nadia-chan, these are Filia and Squigly... Their partners are Samson and Leviathan respectively. Girls, I'd like you to meet an old friend, Nadia Fortune... Who just told me a lot."

All girls blinked, Parasoul pinching the bridge of her nose, "You know, you could've kept the clone so he'd try to help us explain everything."

Letting out a deep sigh, he waved dismissively, "No, it may be better this way. Besides, my clones are me, and I'm feeling twice as lazy with the idea of how to explain it in one go."

Whatever Parasoul meant to say was silenced when they heard feet pounding their way down wooden boards. The thwacks of boots brought confusion to Naruto's mind. Up until the moment that the clone realized that he recognized the way the feet hitting the ground sounded.

"Oh hell…not her." Naruto gulped, realizing he wasn't mentally ready to fully deal with the owner of those well-polished boots.

"Who is coming?" Parasoul asked, her yellow eyes tightening into a pair of harsh slits. She wasn't pleased by the interruption, even less by the fact that he seemed genuinely worried by it.

"Another Medici creep!? Lemme at 'em, I'll rip them into nice little cubes to throw to the fishes!" Nadia's body rotated around like a top, her claws out and flashing with wicked swipes across the air.

Naruto clenched his jaw as he saw Cerebella dash into view, her expression one of wild glee until she saw what had happened once she got there, "WHISKERS! WHY DID YOU DO THIS!?"

This was not his day, it seemed.

He at least needed to get a quip out, "Did you say something, Cassandra? I can't hear you over here." He waved lazily at the acrobat.

"Answer me, you suave detective poser!" she was mad, she only called him a poser if he didn't go to the casino when she was around.

He let his head drop, a puff of air escaping his lips in an exhausted sigh, "I knocked some sense into her by using good old-fashioned fisticuffs for trying to kill the Princess. And gave her an old-fashioned wallop for what she did to one of my oldest and dearest people, Nadia Fortune."

His answer was calm and collected while he stood protectively in front of her and the party of women he had befriended. To try to keep things civilized, Parasoul walked past him, neither needing or wanting his protection save for when he gave it as an equal to her. Nadia did the same, patting his arm firmly. Filia as well as Squigly flanked him, giving Nadia some stares of their own. And it didn't please Cerebella to see a group of so many cute and sensual ladies around him.

"The hell…!? Why did you do that!? Whiskers, answer me!" Cerebella's angry words brought his head up to face her, his eyes gaining a steel hard glint to them.

"I just did, plus, there's a lot of dirty laundry Dahlia is going to help us air out. You can step aside if you want or fight me if you don't. I've got a job to do." He kept a steady watch over how she was getting more belligerent with every word, her eyes turning purple from raw emotion and anger towards him.

She stomped forward, Vice Versa clenching both its fists as she did the same with hers, "She's one of the Medici's family, I won't let you do this, Whiskers! We didn't do anything to you! Step out of it!"

Nadia spat to the ground, looking visibly disgusted with Cerebella's willful ignorance of the truth around her, "You stupid leg-breaking thug! Look around you! Little Innsmouth is the target of the Medici's illicit slave-trading! You've been trying to kidnap Dagonian girls for a while, and I'm not about to let you do the same with Minette or anyone else! Besides all the very personal shit your 'family' did to my own, you're a pain in my ass and an eyesore!"

"What the hell did you say to me, you mangy alley-cat!?" Cerebella looked affronted, her expression wild with hate, "Say that shit again to my face and see what happens! You're not going to get off easy when you insult the Medici!"

"We shouldn't throw more fuel into the fire." Filia said to be the voice of reason, but she was beat.

Parasoul threw her hand down, the dramatic motion silencing the two arguing girls, "Enough!" stepping forward, the Princess took command of the situation as easily as she did any other military engagement, "Let us deal with this interloper, detective. You bring Black Dahlia in; her confession shall help clear Nadia's name of any wrongdoing. And whatever she can tell us regarding the Medici's sins will prove invaluable toward forming an air-tight case against them. You are my instrument, remember that my trust in you… is iron-clad!" she slammed Krieg down, pulling out her Luger and loading it without hesitation.

The detective caught his coat when Nadia threw it at him in a bundle, "Understood, Princess. Take care of things while I'm off and please watch over the girls." holding his jacket over his shoulder, he walked to the truck where the hitwoman and the goons were in.

He prepared to drive away with them, only to dodge a thrown knife he just barely avoided slitting his face and popping him. Twisting his neck around, he saw an unexpected face with Cerebella. Feng held out a brace of knives spinning on her hand like plates. She threw them up, catching four between her hands. Slender stilettos held like makeshift claws made her look like a deadly bird.

"Let's make this somewhat fairer." Feng said, nodding at Cerebella, "What'd you do without me?"

Green-colored lips widened into a smirk, "Heh, good, now we can pummel him good." Vice Versa cracked its knuckles at her words.

Naruto knew he'd have to step in regardless, "Sorry, Princess. I don't think I can leave just yet with this terrible twosome on your hands." the blond man placed his jacket back on, tightened his tie and took his place with the trio.

Placing her thumb and pointer fingers into her mouth, Parasoul whistled and her Black Egrets split into two fractions. One of them took the truck, the force being separated to do his job.

"I hate it when you're right, it means I made a miscalculation in my strategy." Canopy's princess said with a hand brushing a lock out of her face, her expression one of irritation considering the situation and how quickly it had deteriorated on them, "Having to deal with this distraction is one I didn't anticipate."

"You and me both, I can't believe she chased me all the way out here… She must have tracked my moves. I'm glad she didn't find you beforehand, Nadia-chan." He told his oldest friend and hopefully soon to be much more with his usual exhausted tone, but it gained some energy to the end.

All he had to do was deal with Cerebella and Feng, which could be the fight to allow him to break through her thick exterior and make her understand the truth regarding the Medici and their misdeeds. At least he held that hope.

Feng swallowed nervously, up until the moment that she felt a tingle on the back of her head, "Cassandra. Did you call for backup?"

Confused, the busty bruiser took a glance at her best friend, then the back of her neck prickled as well, "No-? Oh, hell…! Of all the people, why did it have to be those two from the Cirque to join us!?"

Her voice came out in a soft growl, her head tilted to the side as a dagger flew past her cheek**. **The blade was caught by the blond detective with one hand, turning on his heel, he gathered up momentum for what he was about to do. He threw it back with the force of a hurricane, using the posture of a batter just to add torque to the counter-toss. It darted past the duo as a feminine voice cursed and could be heard alongside a masculine one taunting its owner.

"Dammit! The detective already sensed me! Hmph, well, 'Cassandra' will finally be forced to acknowledge just who is superior to who." Stepping out from the shadows was a figure which brought a furious glower to Cerebella and a more aggravated stare to Feng.

"Now, now, watch your temper my dear…" The masculine voice made Naruto's hackles rise at the smug tone of condescension and arrogance.

Feng shot venom in her every word at the woman who approached them, "Beatrix. What the hell are you doing here, you envious ball of hate?"

Beatrix could easily be described as immensely attractive, but her beauty carried a sense of deadliness and danger. She had a purple leotard with a black chest piece covering her breasts in the form of a spade, purple long gloves with multiple daggers stuck in the arms which both came through her arms and yet not really pierced flesh, and purple and black poofy stockings attached to garter-belts at her thighs. Her head possessed red eyes, a spade mark over one cheek, and a hairstyle that could best be described as the combination of a pompadour and buns at the side of her ears, making it seem like she had on ear muffs.

Naruto tipped his hat in a mocking salute to her, one of his own knives twirling about his finger, a butterfly knife of all things, he was performing knife tricks with it just to highlight his mockery of her own mastery "Pleasure to see you're up and out of the Cirque Beatrix. Did the thugs holding your leash finally let you off it or are you just here to see pretty little me?"

He acted coy but he was clearly not happy to see her. His eyes bore a degree of exhaustion they normally didn't possess beyond the usual. She and the one with her were the last people he wanted to see present when he was on the job and trying to deal with Feng and Cerebella.

She didn't deign to answer him, only huffing as she pulled out a dagger from her arm and balanced it on one finger tip. The two exchanged lightning like glances between each other.

Walking into view was a man who could be said to embody the mindset of Vitale and the Medici Family, "So now at last, we meet, foes in the stage of life that we walk together. 'Detective' Uzumaki, a pleasure to see you face to face for the first time, and in such hearty health and even better spirits."

The man was clad in an elaborate red outfit with a chessboard motif for the boots, shirt, a white and black feathered red hat, a white pointy-nosed mask with slit eyes, and a feminine figure at his side. Disturbingly, he had articulated wooden hands grasping his partner tightly. The entity resembled a gorgeous woman fused with an instrument. No mouth, closed eyes, and the 'handle' of the bass instrument she resembled sticking up out of her head in the shape of a bun. Her shapely and curvaceous form struck an accord with Samson and Leviathan, the latter of whom gasped in horror.

"Muse!? Muse, my dear! What have you done with yourself!? Consorting with vile criminals, you poor thing!" Leviathan knew just about every member of his race, some more personally than others. Clearly, he recognized the one the man held and was flabbergasted at what she had done with herself.

The Theon, for that is what she was, did not respond beyond opening an eye slightly to look at him with a melancholic expression before it closed once more. It was more than enough to ignite an inferno inside of the blond detective.

Naruto in response spat to the side, adjusting his tie, a fist clenching tight as the wind coldly whispered to him. He was furious at the sight of the man in front of him, even his normal exhaustion faded from him as he snarled the name of the man who had aroused so much of his ire.

"Taliesin, right? You're one of the many reasons I've kept an eye on the Medici... I never thought they'd have someone this sick around the only good people in their roster." Naruto was in rare form, absolutely incensed at the sight of the man who held a woman like she was a toy.

The man spoke, his voice coming out in a mocking laugh Naruto didn't raise to for he was above petty baiting, "Do not be so upset, 'Detective' Uzumaki. I see you surround yourself with truly exquisite pieces of art… Would you mind if I immortalize them for you? Beauty is a fleeting thing, made much better when it is forever pristine."

Naruto's answer was to the point as he crushed his lollipop with his teeth, the stick wiggling in his mouth, "You'd have better luck asking the devil for mercy in Hell."

Muse only opened one eye again, giving Leviathan and Samson an apologetic look that didn't help Naruto improve his mood much.

"Is there any history between you and this creep, Private Dick?" Samson asked, Filia looking weirded out by the Taliesin's eerie focus on her, Nadia, Parasoul, and Squigly.

Naruto clenched both fists tightly, "I've heard tales of girls disappearing around him and he was the first suspect I had regarding Carol's case. I couldn't prove a thing, but Leviathan just confirmed what I feared."

Muse once again looked apologetic at the situation and his words. Not that she was willing to go against her partner, even if she wanted to. Even though, deep down, she disagreed with him and hated seeing her powers be misused.

"Hahaha…You're disappointed you couldn't stop my craft, then? What a pity, more's the pity. You could've been happier had you contented yourself with only Cassandra." Taliesin mocked him, then continued with an eerie gleam from within his mask as he looked at the women around Naruto, "I will be glad to transform these simple shallow creatures into true works of beauty, they will be objectified eternally as works of art in my collection. If you are nice, I may even let you keep one of them."

Hearing him talk made Filia sick, "You're not getting away with using people like that! If you had managed to hurt Carol…I'm standing up and fighting you here and now!"

Taliesin smiled widely beneath his mask while outside both eyes glinted ominously, a truly sickening spectacle akin to a snake playing with a mouse before devouring it, "Do not worry, the Medici shall clean any trace. Oh, 'Detective' Uzumaki, you ought to thank them for always keeping my workshop clean... Despite how close you've come to it."

"Bastard..." Naruto snapped his lollipop stick in rage, he spat out the remains of wood without much more care,"Hey, Filia-chan. I know you're raring to go, but I'm in need to vent out this anger too."

"So am I..." she said as she stood at his side. "Squigly... Leviathan is your partner and he knows that girl... I want you to help Naru- Mr. Detetive bring that man to justice. I can take care of Cerebella."

The zombie girl smiled thankfully at the schoolgirl, "Understood."

"You have our deepest gratitude." Leviathan added.

"Alright, wanna partner with me, then?" Nadia asked Filia with a soft smile, "I'm eager to ruin a pretty face, so I wouldn't mind going after Naruto's fan... and that uppity woman with the knives will be more fun to see cry."

"More the merrier, that tiny one will be a pain if we're not careful." Samson said to the thief.

"In that case, the Egrets and I can take care of escorting Black Dahlia." Parasoul said. "Our priority is this prisoner's lockdown for information. And if you can capture those who oppose us, much better. However, I am allowing you to go all out with such dangerous and sickening vile criminals like that man..."

Taliesin smiled wider behind his mask, "Now, now, that's rude..."

Beatrix threw out three knives which warped through space and reappeared right in front of Filia's eyes and forehead. Tendrils lashed out from her head like a writhing nest of serpents and sent them flying into the ground. Her red eyes flashed with pure unrelenting rage. Like the beat of a drum, her thoughts synchronized to both her partner's perfectly. He held out a hand, then the other. Squigly stepped forward, only to get bumped to the side by Nadia, who snickered.

"Hey, I'm right here. Let's not get distracted with the kit and kaboodle, alright Whiskers?" she had taken a wild guess about what kind of pet-name Cerebella might give him, and when she saw the busty bruiser's eyes burn purple, she knew she hit the nail on the head.

"That's my nickname! Who the hell are you to call him that, you filthy looking wharf-cat!?" she slammed a fist down, Vice Versa doing the same in unison to her angry shout.

Nadia placed a clawed fingertip to her chin, tapping it in mock-thought, "Who am I? Who am I, she asks? I'm his best freaking friend, that's who I am! Me and Naruto, we're like this!" she crossed her fingers and tossed out another triumphant smirk at Cerebella.

It was also partially aimed at Filia who snapped her head around with a shocked expression. The pleasantly plump schoolgirl bit her lip but swallowed back the angry words she wanted to tell Nadia, who in response held both hands behind the back of her head, a mirror to one of Naruto's old favorite poses. She had picked it up from him after all, a relic of their youth. It too was meant to insult Cerebella and Filia, who could tell it was a gesture she had snagged from him.

Squigly for the most part seemed above the arguing, but her red eye narrowed slightly, looking mournful at the fact that this was a world she could never be a part of. Most of all due to her status as an undead.

Naruto had to be the voice of reason, "Now, everyone. Let's focus on the real problems facing us. Not the least of which the pair of unrelenting psychotics dragging down Cassandra and Feng. Well, Beatrix's not that bad, just really too much of a pointy pain in the neck!"

Daggers warped around his body, "Oh, you will enjoy the pain!" Beatrix cheered. She was extremely suggestive about the potential BDSM if the lick of her lips was any indication.

"Not my thing!" Clapping both hands together with the index fingers pointing up, the detective created a shell of wind to guard his body. It bounced the daggers right back at Beatrix.

Catching them with a rapid flurry of air grabs, Feng surprised the other three when she lashed them together on a long rope and swung it at the detective and his comrades! The makeshift flail cut through the air, winding its way toward them with painful tilts and whirls. Every slice against the air brought with it a crack like that of a whip.

"Whoa! That thing could give us a real shave and a haircut!" Nadia ducked down, rolling herself into a ball and then springing up, her claws shooting out in a spray of blood and clashing against Cerebella's fists.

The busty bruiser pressed her forehead against Nadia's, glaring pure hatred at her fellow dark-skinned beauty, "You're going to pay for twisting Whiskers up! You're the one who convinced him that the Medici and me aren't his friends!"

Nadia threw back a laugh so rough she almost hurled out a hairball, "You serious!? Let me laugh even harder! NYAHAHHA! You're so full of kitty litter it's pouring out in gravely bits with every other word you spew from your cannoli-hole!"

Cerebella lifted her up, Vice Versa's arms hurling her into a pile of boxes that Nadia just barely avoided by spurting blood out from her legs and using them like inborn jets to hover away from the wooden crates! She wasn't too unsurprised when she saw Feng swing that makeshift flail again, but she was surprised when the daggers flew off it and aimed right at Squigly!

"Hey, watch ou- Never mind." Nadia tried to warn her, but it wasn't needed.

Squigly extended her hands as a blast of sound emitted from her lips in the shape of a glowing purple musical note wrapped in a sphere. The sonic wave knocked the daggers back, Taliesin dodging their movements with a lyrical laugh emerging from his mask.

"Amusing, truly..." the musician quipped.

"Eyes off the ladies!" A wooden hand opened wide and deflected a blade of wind thrown at him. Naruto's leg was lifted in the air dangerously before it swiped out several times in a set of brutal side-kicks ushering forth another wind blade. The puppeteering musician dodged them, never letting a single blade touch his coat or mask, let alone Muse.

"How could you be so foolish as to allow these unsightly creatures run around to one day die and fade!? Would you rather them not be immortalized as true works of beauty!" Taliesin asked and rushed forward.

A hand was launched into a palm thrust, which Naruto deflected by swinging his leg up and knocking his arm away, switching stances to the opposite limb, he trapped Talesin's arm underneath one leg. Unable to move that arm, Taliesin responded by swinging Muse around like a club. Naruto grabbed her just above his grip. Wind encircled his body and forced Taliesin to draw back lest he be blown away.

Letting go of Muse, Naruto skid back, his body tilting backwards and dodging the flail Feng had. She had replaced the knives with nothing less than spiked balls. Spinning them in a loop around her limbs, she held her flail taut in a classical cloth-fighting martial art pose, one hand extended forward while her other looped the safe parts of the cloth around her arms.

"I can never pick up non-dangerous dance partners, can I?" the blond asked rhetorically.

His feline friend as having a ball with her dance buddy, "Not bad at all, little bird! But don't stop chirping or you'll be hurt in a flurry!" Nadia's claws struck forward fast, her fists popping off her arms and cracking against Vice Versa's, using blood jets to add momentum and strength into her pummeling!

"Get! AWAY! FROM! WHISKERS! He's my bash buddy!" Vice Versa grabbed Nadia up, only for the cat girl to slide out of her grip, blood squirting out and slicking the fingers of the hat up.

"Didn't see your name on his cute butt." Landing in front of Cerebella, Nadia tore her head off, leaned forward and jabbed it.

Her ears stiffened to form a pair of horns which jabbed Cerebella in the stomach and launched her back! Popping her head back on, she yelped and side-stepped palm thrusts from Taliesin.

"Please don't forget me," He whistled sharply. The noise reverberated in her ears, paralyzing her suddenly. His hand reached for her face, only to be slapped away when Squigly hummed and sent a wave of sound that knocked the masked man away from her safely!

"Be careful young feline maiden! That madman has the power of Muse at his side, sound and music are his to control, if you didn't have us, then he could easily take you out at his leisure!" Leviathan warned a dazed Nadia.

Squigly's eye closed tightly, "I'm sorry, Muse, but you are our enemy. I will not hesitate to separate you from your partner." She told the Remote Parasite with a harsh tone.

Muse looked downcast, reluctant to truly fight and turn them into works of art for her partner's sickening fetish. But she had sworn to serve him, and thus her fate was cast in with his. How she wished otherwise though.

"You're really annoying, you know? Why does a fat little thing like you think you have any chance with a man like Detective Uzumaki?" Beatrix asked Filia, throwing knives at her rapidly, thousands of them.

All blades were deflected, punched, dodged, or blocked by her and Samson working in unison. Her hair formed into multiple octopus like arms, holding as many knives as they were able to catch and grab.

Filia lifted her head up, her red eyes glowing with rage and determination, "Because I know he cares about me! He's the kind of man who'd accept someone like me! Without any knowledge of my past, he took me in! There is no one, save for Carol and Samson, who I love more! Naruto is everything to me, and if I must go into Hell to stop the Skull Heart with him…then... I WILL!"

Her confidence had soared with every battle she survived with him, her feelings had grown ever stronger, and by now Filia truly understood she loved him and wanted to be with him.

"How quaint..." Beatrix mocked the schoolgirl as three knives popped between her fingers on each hand, giving him the appearance of wearing claws. She raced at Filia with a wide smirk and swung them, cutting the air and laughing, "Let's see if I can help you lose some weight!"

Rather than be afraid, Filia did something she didn't know she would. With a stomp forward, she socked Beatrix right on the nose. It hurt her knuckles, unused to such a violent act, but it certainly paid off. Since her enemy expected her to use Samson or her legs, she didn't predict such a haymaker.

Beatrix's head tilted back with a painful jolt, blood squirting out of her nose like a geyser. Several sticky red trails leaked down her lips and stained her teeth crimson as her head stiffly tilted back to face Filia.

"Haha…I see now that he surrounds himself with only those he can call the truly strong…but I'll get more to the point. You little bitch, I'll make you pay for the insult and the injury!"

Beatrix's arrogant, confident tone carried with it a hint of menace; the threat was highlighted by how her teeth set themselves into a clenched taut grin. Her fingers twitched as if she tugged on the strings of a marionette. Concentric rings of knives appeared behind her, each one rotating with an aura of pure bloodlust emitting from them.

Filia somersaulted back, landing on her knees with both hands placed on her knees, "Oh no." The school girl gasped when the rings of knives expanded, forming four surging waves. Each layered directly atop the other.

Beatrix's grin became truly demonic, especially with how blood dripped down her lips still, "I'll kill you! I'll flay you alive and string your corpse up full of knifes so he can see your ruined corpse!"

Occupied with Taliesin and Feng, Naruto couldn't get to Filia or Samson, neither could Squigly and Nadia who were occupied with Cerebella until the busty bruiser switched places with Feng.

"I'M COMING FOR YOU, WHISKERS!" swinging around with cloth Feng extended her way, Cerebella walloped Naruto's shoulder with an impressive rotation of her body, using the full force of Vice Versa!

Her punch brought a detonation of sound and energy. The detective was sent soaring back until surprising everyone by creating a cushion of wind which caught him midair. Lightly touching the ground with his coat flapping in the gust unleashed, he held his hat down over his eyes.

"Let's swing for real, Cassandra." He told her, eyes hidden by the shadow of the brim.

Meanwhile, Feng was occupied with Squigly, whose mouth opened and a wave of sound rippled out like the shot of a cannon.

"Milady! Let me aid you!" Nadia ducked a swipe from Taliesin, gritting her teeth as her claws swiped several times dangerously at his stomach.

The man tucked his gut in and backed away before she pulled her head down and dodged a spear shot from Leviathan. Being a parasite, he easily rocketed his neck forward, head pointed down in a charge. He nearly tore a hole through Taliesin...if it wasn't for the man skipping back several steps.

The musician waved his hand, a sonic blast distorting due to the fire and heat Leviathan's maw unleashed in a torrent of flame, "Not good e-"

Stepping back, he was open for Naruto to swing his leg out and send a burst of air which knocked him ass over teakettle, "Is that good enough?" the blond asked mockinglyas the madman fell onto a pile of boxes.

Chortling with a wild outburst of after watching the action, Nadia unleashed a cackle from her throat, "Nyahahaha~! That slaps me on the knee!", Nadia slapped her knee hard enough to send it flying out like a boomerang. Her entire leg curled around in a bent shape and spinning like a discus! Blood jets sprayed out of both ends, and sent it flying at twice the impact against Feng's body. The acrobat wrapped herself in her cloth, mummifying herself only to get drenched by blood that stickily clung to her weapon and weakened its taut nature. She let the cloth drop, taking a kempo stance with her hands ready and waiting in a guard.

Noticing her opponent had avoided her attempt to nullify her techniques, Ms. Fortune decided to stop holding herself back. She wanted to rip and tear until it was done. The cat woman cracked her neck with sickening snaps, blood leaking from between her teeth. Her eyes slit dangerously thin, and her hair stood up. The effect was to make her look far more feral and dangerous, exactly her intention as she hated the Medici down to the last centimeter of flesh and the deepest muscle sinew.

"Killing you will set back those Medici bastards. And help soothe my sore-eyes from looking at you, birdy! Ready to get a close shave?" she asked Feng nastily, her claws out and forming a razor's edge, "I'll break your neck, and your little friends too"

Feng protectively touched the ghost-birds that nested in her hair, stunned by Nadia's blatant bloodthirstiness, she allowed a groan to emerge from the back of her throat, "Great, I'm up against the former corpse with a grudge against us."

"That'd be milady who is the former corpse." Squigly and Leviathan reminded her of their presence, and Feng swallowed to herself. The Skullheart's ability to revive the undead unnerved the Dragon Empire immigrant. Squigly was a reminder of the unnatural power of the Skullheart and how it could revive the dead, which in turn brought out many bad memories of the thousands of ghost stories and ghoulish tales told to her as a child.

"When there's no more room in the Underworld, the Dead will walk the Earth…I always hated when grandpa would tell me that. It's too true now. Considering I'm fighting one of the Skullgirl's corpse soldiers…" Squigly inhaled sharply, sucking in air through her stitched mouth, placing both palms together as her red eye bulged briefly. She didn't like having her undead nature announced so callously, and it was still a sticking point for the singer.

"Rude." She would've called Feng a boy, but that would be too crass, properly chastised, Feng rubbed one shoulder in a posture that eerily resembled Naruto's when he felt awkward. She had seen him do that exact pose one too many times and had picked up on the gesture herself.

"Sorry, I guess. But I'm not going to hold back just because you're dead." She surprised Nadia by whipping out no less than a pair of nunchakus, spinning them around and deflecting a swing of her claws, the hard metal weapons bounced off of Nadia's hands and forced the catwoman back!

"You forget that I may not have magic powers, or magic weaponry, but I'm always prepared for any opponent! Someone didn't research her opponent right!" Feng taunted Nadia with a slight grin, the whirling weapons keeping her feral enemy at a disadvantage.

"Go soak your head in boiling water chicken-head!" After her eye twitched from the jibe about her spectral friends, Feng sent the chain-attached weapons flying as hard as she could, the nunchuk's struck Nadia across the cheek and twisted her head around her neck until it was facing the other way with sickening cracks. Her body placed its claws on its head and spun it right back around like a corkscrew.

"Furtastic, you're really nunchucking your weight around!" Always quick on the uptake, Nadia countered with a lethally bad pun, the groan inducing nature of which brought Feng to a brief stand still, aghast at the utter awfulness of the joke.

"Y-you can't be serious with those pu-OW!" Nadia's tail lashed out at Feng harshly after being detached and clutched in the catwoman's fist, functioning as a metal-whip, the fifth limb slashed across the stomach and near spilled her guts out if she hadn't performed a quick backstep! As it was, her outfit was ripped and showed off her toned tummy perfectly.

After taking a moment to ascertain the damage she caused, Nadia felt a genuine sense of competitive spirit enter her body at that point when she looked at her picture perfect six pack abs, "Not bad, but you've got kitty litter on my body! One hundred crunches, one hundred sit ups, one hundred squat lifts, every day! These are purrfection incarnate!"

Glancing at her own acrobatically toned stomach, Feng glowered at Nadia's taunting and mocking pride, "Y-you think that just because you're a muscle freak you're better than me?!"

Tapping the side of her head with one claw, the catwoman shot back at the martial arts user smugly, "I sure am tiny tiddy! You're smaller, less fit, less stacked, less thick, hell, you're more of a boy than a girl!"

Feng's jaw dropped, and quivered briefly as the critical blows to her womanhood were delivered with trademark sly viciousness from the Medici hating feline thief.

"Y-you furry harlot! Stop insulting my appearance!" Feng stammered, the insults to her feminine nature stung and hit a little too close to home. Especially since she got to see a direct contrast to her every morning.

Nadia saw only weakness in Feng's voice, and pressed the offense, her leg tendons stretching out and plowing her clawed heel into the acrobat's toned tummy, "Why? You ain't got any stomach for my insults?" she accentuated the point of her kick by digging in her claws with eager abandon, she found it weird that she didn't get any purchase on Feng's stomach, but the reason was made clear when she noticed that Feng had managed to bait her in by acting pissed off and off balance!

The nunchaku handles were what her clawed foot was gripping, and Feng's hands were free to counter-attack with several remorseless pressure point stabs all over Nadia's body,"Wacha! Hiyah!" Feng burst out a kiai, and with that was sent flying back, Feng's bangs covering her eyes from the fury she felt.

"You're…already dead." Feng's pronouncement was merely for show, since she knew full well that wouldn't kill the catwoman. All because of the Life-Gem that empowered her undead nature.

Nadia seemed to lay limp on the water-soaked docks from where she had been sent flying, blood spraying from her mangled body until she sat up ram-rod stiff and coughed. Suddenly her head blew its top, quite literally as it erupted into a fountain of blood, brain and bone flying everywhere in a spray of viscera. But inch by inch, her flesh, brain matter, and skull knit themselves back together. Wiping her lips, Nadia spit to the side, a tooth falling out and replacing itself as she stretched her jaw out and tested her motor skills with little nips at the air.

"Right then… Guess you've got a real hand for this." she got up, looking as pissed as she could possibly be. It still didn't prevent her from firing off another pun.

Rolling her eyes, Feng muttered to herself in frustration,"We'll see how many lives you actually have you mangy cat," holding the nunchakus tight underneath her armpits, with one hand she performed a come-hither gesture.

Taliesin got up without further hesitation after taking the time to recover himself, dusting wood fragments from his body with a sigh of disappointment, "Tut, tut, such ghastly women. Detective, how could you lower yourself to be surrounded by such uncouth creatures?" He asked the man derisively.

The detective ignored him in favor of focusing on Cerebella who still had him on the ropes. Every flail of Vice Versa's fists were akin to the hammer of a god, sending waves of wood and water up with punch after punch that went straight through the floorboards beneath them and against the waves that ate away at Little Innsmouth.

Hopping as far back as one leap could take him, Naruto stood opposite to the bruiser who clenched both fists tightly. Vice Versa cracked its knuckles behind her and readied itself for further fighting.

"I didn't want us to fight like this Whiskers. But I'm rescuing Black Dahlia and you'll be joining the Medici in a full body cast! I'm done with this back and forth, one way or another, you're coming with me and I'm setting the tune of our dancing from now on!" She was Pissed with a capital P, and Cassandra's tone indicated that her fury wasn't going to go away easily.

Naruto exhaled a painful sigh, rolling his shoulders in and out, he none the less felt more than prepared to go through with his decision, "Sorry Cassandra, Feng, and I guess Beatrix too. I'm going to save this city's soul, and the first thing I need to do so I can achieve that…is rip out the rot that's eating away at its heart. The Medici and the Canopy Kingdom are going to have a long-awaited departure."

Beatrix noticed his words and gave a cultured laugh in between fending off Filia, her hand in front of her face with the back of her palm pointed towards her mouth, "Ohohoho~! You're serious? Why Detective, those are truly powerful words!" Cerebella was pissed off further by Beatrix's commentary, but the feeling was mutual between them so the knife wielder continued with a smug tone aimed at the her hated rival and star of the Cirque.

"Not everyone might agree with them, however. I'm attached to being a Cirque des Cartes member, but being able to choose my own targets and perform on a stage without oppressive 'patrons' breathing down my neck…might be appealing too. Well, that's if you succeed, which you won't~! Ohohoho~!" Beatrix was being both sincere and sarcastic.

Contradictions were pen and parcel for performers of her caliber, if he actually succeeded then she'd support him, if he lost…then she wasn't culpable for anything. Backstabbing was a favorite technique for a knife wielder.

Cerebella had heard enough of the two and their traitorous conversation and roared with all of her heart and rage, "JUST GO DOWN WHISKERS! I'LL SEE YOU AFTER A NICE NAP!"

She tugged on a plank, using her real arms in combination with Vice Versa, and cracked it down like a wet towel.

As the entire mass of planks rippled towards him, aiming to knock him skywards so she could attack him via a vector of her choice, the detective concentrated.

Exhaling deeply, and muttering a quick apology of, "Sorry Minette-chan, I hate to mess up Little Innsmouth, but I can't hold back here!" He made his next move without a second's delay.

Naruto rose a foot into the air, wind encircling the sole of his shoes and stomped the plank opposite to the one she had tugged upon. A countering wave was sent forward and knocked the planks back into alignment with loud clacks.

He looked up, seeing that Cerebella was gone, "Everyone's dancing all over the place, so where did she go?" Confused, he tilted his head and saw a cloth flowing across the corner of his vision. "Huh?"

"Hi!" he was unable to avoid how it went taut and wrapped around his body, nearly mummifying him. Feng tugged on one end while Cerebella had the other.

The Dragon Empire girl narrowed her eyes at him, "Get the hell over here!" Both of the best friends shouted, and tugged on the rope, sending Naruto's body flying into the air.

Mid-air, he performed several flips and balanced himself out with a pirouette. Cerebella drove both fists into the ground and threw out her arm with a loud cry, "Go down already Whiskers! You're not going to win!" she taunted him as he fell out of the sky like a meteor, curling himself into a ball he used the impact speed to crash through the soggy wood serving as their battle ground as hard as he could.

Striking through the boardwalk, he disappeared seemingly into the water. Cerebella rushed towards the exit hole, looking down below her, her jaw dropped as Naruto stood on top of the water.

Holding both hands out in a chakra gathering pose, his eyes burst open, glowing bright blue highlighting the energy that was flowing outwards from him. Both hands went straight to his sides, twin spiraling spheres forming over the palms of his hands.

"**_Rasengan Duo Maximum!_**" When he leaped up, he thrust both palms forward, each blue orb in his hands expanding until they were the size of a pair of cannonballs. Cerebella didn't do things by half, she leaped as far back as she could, Feng's cloth flying out and going tight as a high wire. Cerebella pressed her soles against the springy cloth and launched herself back, both of her fists drew back and hurtled forward!

Grinding against the spheres, Cerebella twisted her knuckles around, going in a counter direction then the spheres were. Vice Versa 'unlocked' its joints and was able to force both arms to spin like a pair of drills, the wind thrummed with the chaotic whir of fist vs what he considered his signature move. Or at least a variation of it.

"I'll never let you do anything without my say-so again Whiskers! Obey me and the Medici, or…" she let the threat go unspoken, Naruto gave her a sad grin in response, his hat covering his eyes until all she could see were the shining chips of ice beneath its brim.

"Sorry Cassandra. I'll never let anyone or anything tell me what to do unless I respect them. And the Medici… haven't earned that much!" The spheres exploded, sending her flying back until she caught Feng's hand and was able to right herself, her fellow acrobat shimmying down a pole that she had scaled.

"If you'll allow me then! Don't ignore me, please, I can't stand it when the crowd isn't watching!" Taliesin used Muse like a club, bludgeoning Nadia as hard as he could. Her head flew off in a spray of viscera, amusing him until the headless 'corpse' grabbed his shoulders. And then rose its knee up, cracking his mask with a savage rising strike!

She hopped back suddenly, yowling with her hands over her ears when Muse was used to play an ear splitter that shook her brain right out of her skull.

Regenerating from that took time, time that Taliesin used to his advantage to prepare himself as Naruto was still airborne. Shaking his head, the blond-haired detective realized too late the positioning he had been maneuvered into, his eyes widened when he saw the evil glint of the musician's mask staring right up at him.

"Now Taliesin! Get that detective!" Beatrix was the one who beat Cerebella to the punch, the knife-nut scowling as her blades were getting tangled up in the ever-flowing locks of Filia and Samson.

"Naruto!" her warning wasn't quick enough, and Filia panicked as she saw Taliesin leap up with Muse held in both hands like a great club.

Taliesin was already skywards, both hands wrapped around Muse as he lifted her up above his head. And then he hit nothing but... "A log!?" he asked in shock as what should've been a clear deadly hit just got a mere piece of wood.

"Hello!" Naruto exclaimed above the mass murderer, his foot above his head for an axe kick which rocketed him down to the floor. Both Cerebella and Feng shrieked in fear when jumping out of the way of the user of Muse, who sank to the bottom of the water, "Oh crud!"

"Hey Whiskers, what's the big... big... big muscles..." Cerebella's brain matter stopped working when the sight of Naruto taking off his jacket, tie, hat, shirt and shoes registered in her memory. She had to wipe drool from her mouth briefly, just in time for her brain to reboot itself.

Right before he dived in after Muse, "I'm not letting Leviathan lose a friend!"

Sinking in the depths of the ocean, his hand extended out toward Muse who closed her eyes with a painful expression. She looked away from him sadly, not wanting to be saved. Her guilt was clear, being separated from Taliesin was punishment enough for her, but for everything else she had done…

The look she gave him told him all it needed to. Let her go, let her atone in the depths of the New Meridian bay without ever seeing the light of the sun above or the pleasure of being close to another ever again. His own expression in turn told her everything she needed to know about the kind of man he was. He'd save her, even if she didn't want him to. Extending out a hand was the only way someone like him knew how to help others.

Fighting and using his fists became as natural as breathing for him. And because the wind was on his side, he could fight with its freedom granting him swiftness. But it was because of his kind heart that he could emphasize with others who wished they had help. He had always been willing to extend his arm out to those in need of aid and who asked for it. That was his Shinobi Code. Protect those important to him. _Without exception._

With but a few more inches, he could reach her… Deeper and deeper into the pitch-black waters, the detective swam after Muse's sinking form. She stared up at him, his expression one of pleading.

_"Please. Let me go.'_

'_No. __Let me save you.' _Her eyes squeezed shut, and she saw only darkness around her. She didn't want to be saved, but when she opened them again, he was still there. And just a few inches shy from grabbing her. How long had she wanted someone to reach out to her genuinely? How long had she desired salvation and forgiveness? If she could cry, this was where she would shed her tears.

Acknowledging her pain, Naruto set his face into a firm line, reaching out with his palm opened, lines of chakra flowed out to help push him faster towards the submerging Theon, just as his own vision was starting to blacken at the corners, he let loose a stream of bubbles from his mouth in a final plea to the wind to aid him. Even underwater, it favored him and the air bubbles pushed him forward! As they rotated around him in a spiral stream, the current guiding him, he grabbed Muse's handle at long last. Her eyes widened at the gentle look he had on his face, the detective genuinely accepting her despite everything she had done touched her.

'_All of this…just to save me? Because you didn't want Samson or Leviathan to cry anymore…I-I...Alright...__Union accepted. Please, do not abandon me_. _And do not use me to commit atrocities like…like Taliesin did._' That was her voice speaking soothingly in his head, it was soft, gentle and melodic much like her. She didn't want to betray Taliesin and wouldn't normally do so. But Naruto had attempted to save her just then and now. And he was trying to aid Leviathan and Samson.

She still missed those she called friends. And much to her private regret, the rift between her and Taliesin had always been there. She didn't like that he truly did consider women beneath him. And liked his genuine misogyny even less. But that hadn't been enough to convince her to abandon him deep down. What had made their inevitable separation truly come to a head was the Medici's shaky alliance with Eliza. The disharmony of such evil couldn't be allowed to exist in a world of Theon's and humans. Especially one as monstrous as Sekhmet.

Cerebella froze, in between grappling with Filia and Samson, with Feng aiding her. They all felt the growing sense of dread and power bubbling and churning from within the bay. A strange metallic 'click' could be heard as well, each shift of this percussive noise forcing more bubbles to the surface, churning it like a steam geyser. Deep down in the abyss, Naruto was madly strumming along the surface of Muse, air bubbles being generated around him and forcing the water around him to seethe into a whirlpool. Dramatically flourishing his hand, he finished his solo. Muse's eyes opened wide and gained a steely clarity to them as she combined her sound with his wind, and together they sent the water upwards into a jet-stream!

Fittingly, it had erupted around his body, and he kicked off of the water to aid his ascent!

Rocketing up and through the torrential current, he appeared as if a radiant figure in the spray of sea water around him. With his toned physique dripping wet and forcing his hair to cover his eyes, he looked as if a wrathful Musician God. Descending from the heaven's armed with melodic weapon in hand to punish the wicked and sinful. In a way, this imagery was justified.

"MUSE!?" Taliesin near gagged with fury and rage at seeing the Remote Parasite form a new bond. A bond that had severed his own tenuous relationship. He didn't care that his partner had been taken. More so that his _possession _had been removed from him.

The realization of this deal was made quite clear to him, when his arms went returned to their fleshy original state. Naruto held out one hand, the hand holding Muse namely, grimacing slightly as it became wooden. Inch by inch, this wood replaced his entire limb, down to the shoulder, and stopping just over the left side of his his pectoral muscle and the back of his shoulders were transfigured into wood, and he could feel the bark replace everything down from flesh, to sinew, to bone. Even the hairs on his arm were thoroughly replaced.

This was the cost of making a bond with her. Strangely, the artificial arm that replaced his own was wrapped entirely in bandages that sprang into existence to cover his limb of their own accord. Seals glowed across their surface, holding the bandages in place.

'_Giving up the entire arm, all the way down to that side of the body is dangerous. But it seems that your body can take the exchange, Naruto. For some reason... I feel more at home with you than any of my previous partners. Why is it that your body is naturally conductive to a Theon...? Oh, that's why.'_

Muse's commentary to him was met with a deep malefic chuckle in the depths of his core, her consciousness encountering the dark root that slept deep within him.

'**Greetings instrument. I see that you have bonded with _my _partner. Another tool to be used in his arsenal. Or a new friend, if he's that sentimental..As thanks for your cooperation, I'll aid you in making him even stronger than before, it's the least I can do for him.'**

With the demon's words and a supply of energy that she had never before had such ample access to, Muse felt strangely at ease. Held over his shoulder, she observed hole's opening up within the wooden limb, helpfully generated by the dark power granted to her from Naruto's 'guest', normally this would be incredibly dangerous for a prospective partner, but because she was precisely conducting the process she was able to enhance her partner's usage of her even further.

Each hole was reminiscent of a wood-wind instruments placement, giving his limb a streamlined appearance. Gushing air, the bandages naturally parted away to expose them and completed the process, with her job done, she stood up, her legs popped out and allowing for her entire body to stand next to him. She noticed that she couldn't even come up to his shoulder, even with her naturally long legs. Despite herself, it prompted a little shiver of anticipation. She liked tall men who could carry her around and protect her. After all, she was a romantic woman at heart.

A gust of wind blew through the harbor, delivering him his clothes. Due to the conditions of battle, he didn't have time to don everything, so he made do with just his coat and hat. A barrage of water droplets dropped to the ground, pit pattering nosily, before he pointed skywards. His good hand rose its index finger up high.

"The wind guides those who listen, there can be no room for evil in its path, with it behind my back, my rage is a hurricane that will envelop all those who stand opposed and blow them away! Heh, pretty cool little speech, right?" he rubbed the back of his head with his normal gloved hand, fitting a spare onto his artificial limb with a chuckle.

Muse blinked her eyes at him, taking his eccentric nature in stride without much more than the necessary amount of interest. Although she did flutter her eyes slightly, charmed by his personality, '_Are you always this jovial in battle Naruto? You seem to find acting in such a manner to be entertaining.'_

"Only when I'm actually enjoying myself. Fighting's not as fun as it was when I was a kid. But it's still something I like to do. Especially against Cassandra and her friends… minus Taliesin." He explained to Muse, who took in what he said. She was normally silent, but with her current partner, she didn't feel as if her voice would be lost on him.'

Hence why she replied without hesitation, '_I will do my best to try and aid you then, Naruto. Please, do not use me or my power with evil in mind.'_

"Naru-Mr. Detective! Did you really form a bond with Muse?" Filia asked him, feeling a genuine sense of unity and joy well up from within her. Samson snorted, forming a pair of hair fists he pummeled Cerebella back, forcing the acrobat to curse.

"Dammit! Are you fooling with me, Whiskers?!" she asked him, although in the back of her mind she was actually rather pleased with this. Naruto was much more to her liking than Taliesin who had given her and Feng off-color looks one too many times.

"She took a liking to him, I used to think she always had a bad habit of getting too close to her partners… but now I see that's okay." Samson told Filia, the two falling onto the ground with Filia posing before a tendril speared forward, nearly ripping into Cerebella's toned thighs. He continued explaining things to Filia with a gruff yet gentle tone, "It took me a while, but I finally get where she's coming from. Wanting to protect those close to you is pretty damn invigorating, kid."

Filia looked up at the chuckling Theon that she called her closest friend, "I say! Milady, Sir Naruto and Muse actually formed a working bond?" Leviathan asked his own partner, who clasped both hands together, feeling her own sense of communion with Naruto. Like him, she had only one flesh hand, the other reduced to little more than bone. But because of that, she understood him better than anyone else could. Especially now.

"The stronger he becomes, the more I can trust him with New Meridian when..." Squigly left of softly, clenching her bone fist, she looked melancholic, killing Leviathan's good mood. When it was all over. When they had defeated the Skullgirl, she would die again.

"I'll rip out your goddamn tongue and make you gargle with your own blood as I strangle you with it!"

Taliesin was obviously furious, "Sorry, let's see if a song can cheer you up!" the detective told him with a sardonic smile as he strummed the strings of Muse who transformed back into her instrument mode. "I'm more of a shamisen guy, but this'll do..." he moved each finger across the body of Muse, her face lighting up as a soft yet fast-paced melody reminiscent of those he grew up with thanks to Hiruzen Sarutobi rippled through the air.

"Get your hands off her!" Taliesin snapped and lunged forward, near frothing mad with a lunatic rage consuming him, "Muse belongs to me! Like all of my works of art, she's mine! MINE!"

"Yours? Muse is her own Theon, and isn't just your toy you spoony bard! I'll put you out of your and her misery once and for all Taliesin! Blue bird... soaring through a similarly colored sky, longing not for freedom but a place to find a resting place for its heart..." he recalled piece of a prose as wind chakra gathered, speaking softly before exclaiming, "As a free life... _**SOARING ENDLESS SKIES**_!"

His battle cry added to the vibrations, his wind chakra merging with Muse's powers to send a flock of blue ethereal birds made of pure raw energy! Each flying manifestation sailed through the gales created by the same man who summoned them and rammed their heads into the madman's body. Everyone watched a flabbergasted Taliesin get sent upwards higher and higher as a tornado formed from the flapping of blue chakra wings! And as he cried, he could only see the ground get further and further away from him!

"That's Muse's full power power with one helluva kick added in!" Samson gasped in shock.

"Alas, partnering with someone like the good detective was a wise choice, if overkill." Leviathan agreed.

Nadia and Squigly swung past Feng, who dashed back, snatching Cerebella under her arm when she saw that the flow of battle had turned thoroughly against them.

"Sorry Cassandra, but this is for your own good." Feng whispered to herself.

The busty bruiser looked surprised as she was snatched up, "Hey! What the hell are you doing!?" Cerebella was shushed when Feng pressed her thumb against her neck, sending her directly into the land of nod via a pressure point.

Beatrix flung a quartet of knifes, preventing Filia from chasing after her, the busty schoolgirl yelping as she skidded on her heels and fell to her stomach to avoid them, "We'll continue this later, Detective~! Ohohoho! Take care of the chubby strumpet, and your pet undead! We'll be back!"

Beatrix was nothing if not quick to realize a situation was hopeless, and so she made like a magician and exited stage left. Naruto spun Muse around, mechanical chimes emerging from her body until she was attached to his arm, functioning as a bulky gauntlet. Due to his positioning, her head was nestled on his shoulder with her folded-up body braced against the side of his arm.

Looking at Taliesin's cracked mask, the unconscious serial killer drooling underneath, the detective heaved a sigh to himself as Filia looked frustrated, "I didn't even get to show off too much, Naruto." Filia mumbled to him, Squigly patting her back gently.

Shaking her head, the undead woman flashed Filia a cheerful stitched mouth smile, "It'll be alright. Plenty of other fights will come our way. So, don't worry, okay? At least nobody got hurt. And we saved Muse."

Filia perked up, especially after Samson consoled her too, "That's right, kid. Not every fight is going to be this big old brawl where we all fight. Just chip in when you can, shit will be fine."

"As loath as I am to agree with him, I concur, Ms. Filia, you'll be fine. And we'll be able to fight together plenty." Leviathan chimed in, which only brought a scowl out of Samson.

"Shaddup, worm. I'm the one keeping the kids spirits up!"

"WHY I NEVER! YOU UNCOUTH SAVAGE!"

Nadia snickered as she watched the arguing, Filia and Squigly trying their best to keep their partners in check by holding them back in Squigly's case and tugging on them in Filia's. She walked over to, and then stood next to Naruto and gave Muse a glance. When she fully took in Muse's body, her eyes glittered yellow like star from excitement.

"Is that a new scratching post I see?" Muse's eyes opened from their usually lidded expression, and she looked as disturbed as possible despite having no mouth to properly emote with.

'_Naruto…keep her away from me! Please! I can't repair scratch damage!'_

Holding his wooden arm above Nadia's head, Naruto chuckled tiredly as his best friend and more kept trying to claw at Muse and his artificial limb eagerly, "Hope the Princess is doing better. We have a fresh prisoner to for her." He reminded Nadia of Taliesin, bringing a sinister grin out of the catwoman's face and distracting her from Muse. Much to the Remote Parasite's relief, "Want to help with that, Nadia-chan?"

"Does a dog have fleas? Let's scratch another one of the list." She said, one claw out and glittering nastily, Naruto just chuckled as he pulled out a bunch of rope.

And got himself into a dry pair of his clothes.

A detective's work was never done, it seemed.

X-X-X-X-X-X

Sorry for the wait, school happened and I got exceptionally busy preparing myself for university. I promise that the next chapter will come out much sooner, so look forward to it, and updates for my other stories! And if you can, give my beta The Swordslinger's Savior a read! It's one of our pride and joys, and we have a bizarrely high amount of fun fixing She-Ra's many mistakes. Next chapter we'll get to see the aftermath of this brawl, the capture of Taliesin and what that means for the Medici, and more! Stay tuned!

Beta's Notes: _**I had to keep The Lord Of Pages here under control since we knew some of you didn't like how long we made the fight with Eliza. We wanted to make it detailed, but also had to keep under a certain length to not tire you guys out.**_

This is The Lord Of Pages, off to record another chapter! So long, farewell, until we meet again!


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